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Apply on: CRC: 0x2267B431 File: quotes.list Date: Fri May 14 01:00:00 2004
1c1
CRC: 0xAB265F81 File: quotes.list Date: Sat May 22 01:00:00 2004
3c3
This is the Quotes List v1973 [Sat May 22 00:31:23 BST 2004]
1300a1301,1304
Jack Bauer: [to Saunders about putting his daughter in the hotel
where the virus had been released] I'm going to put her in there,
and I will make you watch her die.
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Mary: HELLO-MY-NAME-IS-MARY.
Eric: Mary, he's French, not deaf.
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Cate: Okay rusty, wheres blondie?
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Carl: [screaming] STOP IT! STOP IT! CAN'T YOU SEE THIS CONSTANT
3747c3756
Sheen: [laughing] That was cool, Carl. I really beleived you for a
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Willy Loman 3000: Once upon a time... It was the best of times, It
was the worst of times... Elementary, my dear Watson... Hop on
Pop... You're a sor-sor-sor-sorcerer, Harry... Danger, Jimmy
Neutron... Dangerdangerdangerdangerdangerdanger...
[shuts down]
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Nanobot #2: I want to do it!
Nanobot #1: It's the captian's job.
Nanobot #2: Sometimes the stewardess gets to talk.
Nanobot #1: Get me some tea and a pillow and we'll discuss it.
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Sonic: You got it ace, let's race!
7880a7893,7904
Simon Cowell: You can't sing, you can't dance so what do you want me
to say?
Himself - Reject: Umm... I already gave my best and I have no regrets
at all.
Paula Abdul: Good.
Randy Jackson: Good, now that's good.
Paula Abdul: That's good William, that's the best attitude.
Himself - Reject: You know I have no professional training when it
comes to singing.
Simon Cowell: [laughing] Now that's the surprise of the century.
Paula Abdul: William, you're the best, you're the best.
8845a8870,8871
Angel: I don't know about you, but I want a piece of the dragon.
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Angel: So, you're a freak. Boo-hoo. Get over it.
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Spike: It's not murder if you say yes.
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Spike:
Angel: No.
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Angel:
Spike: No.
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Angel: You had one job to do, hold onto the head!
Spike: well it's gone now, Idin't! Standing in the Strada, yelling at
me all night...
Angel: Did you just say Strada?
Spike: it's means, street.
Angel: Yeah, I know what it means
Spike: [Spike grabs Angel's watch and looks at it] Well we only have
12 hours until L.A. turns into a demon warzone.
Angel: [kicks the debris] One job, you know. Hang onto the head.
That's it.
Spike: You were right there, too.
Angel: I wasn't in charge of the head.
Spike: Well, it's gone now, isn't it? You gonna stand here in the
strada yelling at me all night?
Angel: Do you just say Strada?
Spike: It's means street.
Angel: Yeah I know what it means.
Spike: We only have 12 houes to get the head back before Los Angeles
becomes a demon war zone. Should we argue some more, or should we
get on with it?
Spike: Every time I hear his bleedin' name, we standing in the
Strada, holdin' a bag.
Spike: I just wanna see you happy. Well not too happy or else I'll
have ta stake ya. On second thought have at it.
Angel: 'Course he is. He's screwin' us. He's screwed us before, and
he's screwin' us now.
Spike: Yeah. Everytime we hear his bleedin' name, we end up standin'
in the strada holdin' the bag.
Lindsey: In relation to Angel's master plan for taking down the
Circle of the Black Thorn I'm in if you want me.
Angel: I want you, Lindsey.
Angel: I'm thinking about rephrasing that.
Lindsey: I really wish you would.
Angel: Well, personally? I want to slay the dragon. Let's go to work.
Angel: Well personally, I want to slay the dragon... Let's go to
work!
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Inignot: [flipping the bird] I hope you can see this, because I'm
doing it as hard as I can.
Dr. Weird: [as an answering machine message] Gentlemen. You have
reached Dr. Weird's residence. Now speak at the tone!
Telemarketer: Hello, Dr. Wire... Wired... Wi... Weird.
Dr. Weird: Steve, send the phone spiders.
Telemarketer: This is Jay Edwards with, uh, Chauna Construction
Company. With Spring here, we thought you might be interested in a
new deck. AHH! Spiders! Get 'em off! Get 'em off!
Dr. Weird: No, I guess we're not interested. Ah ha ha ha!
Frylock: Carl, did you lose something behind the couch?
Carl: Yeah I did! I lost peace and quiet!
Frylock: Do you know how much water is used up every time you flush
the toilet?
Carl: I give. What?
Frylock: Three gallons.
Carl: Wow, what a waste. The poor children.
Meatwad: Well, he ain't gonna poop in the yard. I mean, he'll go
inside to do that.
Frylock: Not if his door's locked.
Meatwad: I just can't go, you know, with people watching.
Master Shake: We don't need a toilet. The pile of clothes in the
hallway has worked fine for us for years, and it will continue to
work.
Master Shake: Mail call! Frylock, letter for you! Meatwad... get a
life!
Master Shake: Well, look. I mean, is he gonna be able to chase us?
Cause if I woke up lookin' like that, I would just run towards the
nearest living thing and kill it.
Frylock: [after placing Carl's head on the machine] I give you the
ultimate in military hardware! Complete with laser cannon,
indestructible titanium exoskeleton, and motion activated plasma
pulse rifles.
Master Shake: And you're gonna plug him in?
Frylock: You're right. Damn, what the hell was I thinking?
Meatwad: Fudge.
Frylock: That's not an F-bomb.
Meatwad: Fudge you.
Master Shake: Why does everything have to be a federal case with you?
Master Shake: [emerges from Carl's pool and gasps for breath] Twenty
seconds! It's a new world record!
Inignot: [emerges from Carl's pool] Twenty-three seconds.
Err: That is the new moon record!
Inignot: Then it shall be so.
Err: Now and forever.
Dr. Weird: My ass has finally decided to eat my hand!
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D.W.: [Singing] The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the Brussels sprout.
D.W.: You Eggs Benedict Arnold!
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Miranda Killgallen: Hello, Courtney's rooms. This is Miranda. Eww...
it's Foutley.
Carl Foutley: Let's fake an injury at the ice skating rink so we can
sue for damages.
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Citizen G'Kar: Something called..."rice."
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Dr. Stephen Franklin: Now why do you believe her, and not me?
Michael Garibaldi: Because when you lie, it's all over your face.
She's a much better liar than you are.
Lyta Alexander: Thank you. [pause] Wait a minute!
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80's Batman: This isn't a mudhole. It's an operating table. And I'm
the surgeon.
Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot: That's right. I need chainsaws,
dump-trucks, hedge-clippers, and a bottle of aspirin down here -
now!
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Megatron: Quickstrike, you may enter first.
Inferno: [confused.] Royalty. Why was I not chosen?
Megatron: Because Inferno when expecting booby traps. [Quickstrike
gets caught in the Maximal's trap.]
Megatron: Always send the "boob" in first.
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Butt-head: Whoa, huh huh, she just said "ass-munch".
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Ms. Jenkins: Now Butt-head you try one.
[reciting another sentence]
Ms. Jenkins: Half haste helps but whole haste hinders.
Butt-head: Whoa, she just said "butt-hole". Huh huh.
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Beavis: [the boys dressing up as ghosts using bedsheets] Umm... These
sheets smell funny.
Butt-head: Yeah, Huh Huh. These are my special monkey sheets.
Beavis: [Beavis tries to get it off of himself] Aggh! Dammit! Get it
off me! Ah Aggh!
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Harold]
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Bernard: It's all rubbish! Nobody is prepared to admit that wine
doesn't have a taste.
Manny: Of course you can't taste anything, you smoke eighty bajillion
cigarettes a day. What's that you're eating?
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Manny: It's a coaster!
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Bernard: [to angry skinheads] Which one of you bitches wants to
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Bernard: He won't. His ears are too small.
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Fran: So Manny, tell us about yourself.
Manny: Well, I was born in London...
Bernard: Not so fast, David Copperfield. If you're going to go that
far back we're going to need popcorn or something.
Bernard: [gibbering] They'd all laugh at me if they knew what I was
trying to do... to create a new strain of super-wine in a half an
hour with a fraction of nature's resources and a FOOL for an
assistant. "Bernard Black, he's mad," they'd say. "He's insane.
He's dangerous." Well I'll show them! I'll show them all!
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Landlord: So what's the problem, exactly?
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Bernard: Where's my cure?
Manny: It's not my fault you're hungover.
Bernard: It is your fault! If I lived with a normal person, there
wouldn't be so much to block out.
Manny: I want the weekend off. I want a life.
Bernard: This is life! We suffer and slave and expire. That's it!
Manny: We have needs! Fran wants to learn the piano, I want some time
to myself, you want to go out with a girl...
Bernard: Don't make me laugh... bitterly. Fran will fail, you'll toil
your life away, and I'll die alone, upside down on the floor of a
pub toilet.
Bernard: [speaking through a megaphone] Right, the shop is closed,
everybody get out! Time to go home, come on!
Old lady: But it's only quarter to three!
Bernard: Yes but it's my shop. [now shooing them out with a broom]
Come on, go home, bye bye, get out...
Old lady: That's hardly fair!
Bernard: It isn't fair at all. Get out!
Man: I expect better service!
Bernard: Well expect away. Goodbye! Come on, all you time-wasting
bastards, back on the streets. Thank you! [slams door]
Bernard: [to Fran] You! What have you been telling Kate? She thinks
I'm the renaissance. I have to go along with all this "reclusive
genius" stuff... she's going to be very upset when she finds out
I'm just a reclusive wanker.
Manny: [while assimilating the Little Book of Calm] When you sleep,
you are a king surveying your estate. Look at the woodland, the
peacocks on the lawn. Be the king of your own calm kingdom.
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Captain Blackadder: I was wondering whether, after being tortured by
the most vicious sadist in the German army, I might be allowed a
week's leave to recuperate.
General Melchett: Excellent idea - your commanding officer would have
to be stark raving mad to refuse you.
Captain Blackadder: You are my commanding officer.
General Melchett: Well?
Captain Blackadder: Can I have a week's leave to recuperate, sir?
General Melchett: Certainly not!
Captain Blackadder: Thank you, sir.
General Melchett: Baaa!
Lord Flasheart: And always remember - if you want something, take it!
Bobby!
Bob Parkhurst: [enters] My lord?
Lord Flasheart: I want something.
Bob Parkhurst: Take it! [she undoes her shirt - exeunt]
19481a19699,19706
[running gag]
Ben Cartwright: Hey, Joe, do you know the difference between a table
and an ottoman?
Joseph 'Little Joe' Cartwright: Sure I do.
Ben Cartwright: Then take your feet off the table!
[Hoss rolls his eyes]
Eric 'Hoss' Cartwright: He'll never learn to do that.
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Michael Carney: [during the farmer's tan contest] I didn't take any
prisoners. You think I took prisoners? I didn't take any prisoners.
I got my belly button tanned.
Brendan Leonard: [during "Eagle Action News"] We're gonna go to our
correspondant on the field, Kevin Sheehan.
Kevin Sheehan: Yes, I am in a field. That is why I am a correspondant
on the field.
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god blood until you, what..."explained"?
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Buffy: Dawn, listen to me. listen. I love you. I will *Always* love
you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles... tell
Giles I figured it out. And, and I'm okay. And give my love to my
friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to be strong.
Dawn, the hardest thing in this world... it to live in it. Be
brave. Live. For me.
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Angelus: "Dear Buffy..." Hmmm. I'm still trying to decide the best
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Vamp Xander: So you're a Watcher, huh? Watch this. [drinks Cordeilia]
Aimee Mann: [after playing a set at The Bronze] Man, I hate playing
vampire towns.
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Prosecutor: What if I told you that the accusers correctly described
Michael's penis to investigators?
Dave Chappelle: Sir, I have never seen Michael's alleged penis, but I
bet you that I can describe it all right? Let me guess... there's a
head, a shaft, some balls, hair - maybe pressed, permed hair, with
glitter sprinkled on it.
Prosecutor: That's correct.
Dave Chappelle: Whoa... how'd I know? Come on dude, I couldn't pick
my own penis out of a line up, all right? And me and penis is like
this, son.
President Black Bush: I didn't want to say this. The motherfucker
bought yellow cake. Alright! From Africa. He went to Africa and
bought some yellow cake.
News Reporter: Are you sure?
President Black Bush: Yes! I'm sure, bitch!
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Phoebe: We're not demon hunting. We're going to lunch.
Chris: Hey. I am not unreasonable. You can hunt demons after lunch.
Chris: I was just wondering how it went with the doctor.
Piper: Well, you'll be happy to know that you're a boy. [holds up
ultrasound picture]
Chris: That's not what I meant.
Paige: [looking at picture] I don't see it.
Piper: Oh, see, it's this little thing right here... [points]
Chris: Whoa! [grabs ultrasound] Excuse me! Do you mind?
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Alex Trebek: [Cliff is appearing on Jeopardy] let's go to Cliff and
get his Final Jeopardy answer. "Who are people who have never been
in my apartment?" I'm sorry; that is wrong.
Cliff: Wait a minute, Alex. I can offer conclusive proof that those
three people have never been in my apartment.
Cliff: [Cliff has read that his medication can cause male breast
enlargement] I see you all looking at my chestal area; stop it! I
don't have breasts!
Rebecca Howe: Don't let them get to you, Cliff. I took that
medication and the risk of side effects is very overrated.
Cliff: Oh, yeah, Rebecca? How long ago did you take it?
Rebecca Howe: About twenty years ago; back when I was a little boy.
[Cliff stomps out as Rebecca high-fives Carla]
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# "Cisco Kid, The" (1950)
[last lines of each episode]
The Cisco Kid: Oh, Pancho!
Pancho: Oh, Cisco!
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# "Coronation Street" (1960)
Karen Phillips: Try any more stunts like that, and I will be booking
your funeral!
Karen Phillips: [holding up one of her shoes] Don't defend her,
Steve, cause I've got one of these for each of you.
Tracy Preston: You touch me with that, I'll sue for criminal
injuries, together with child support from him.
Karen Phillips: Dead people don't sue!
Steve McDonald: She means it, Karen. When it comes to screwing money
out of people, she does it very well!
Tracy Preston: As opposed to just screwing people!
Steve McDonald: You tell Karen about the baby, I will make you pay, I
will make you suffer.
Rita Littlewood: Did you ever run away from home?
Norris Cole: No, I most certainly did not!
Rita Littlewood: That must have been a great disappointment to your
mother!
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sensitivity, stamina... we're just happy if you're naked... half
naked... one breast.
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conversation, only not saying much... like Patrick.
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your trousers... that's the sock gap. Miss it and suddenly you're a
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[Susan has removed the lock from the bathroom door, and doesn't
understand why Steve is so upset about it.]
Susan: Men and toilets, the love that dare not speak its name. What's
that about?
Steve: [slams hand down] We are men! Throughout history, we have
always needed, in times of difficulty, to retreat to our caves. It
so happens that in this modern age, our caves are fully plumbed.
The toilet is, for us, the last bastion, the final refuge, the last
few square feet of man-space left to us! Somewhere to sit,
something to read, something to do, and who gives a damn about the
smell? Because that, for us, is happiness. Because we are *men.* We
are different. We have only one word for soap. We do not own
candles. We have never seen anything of any value in a craft shop.
We do not own magazines fill of pictures of celebrities with all
their clothes *on*. When we have conversations, we actually take it
in turns to talk! But we have not yet reached that level of
earth-shattering boredom and inhuman despair that we would have a
haircut *recreationally*. We don't know how to get excited about...
really, *really* boring things, like ornaments, bath oil, the
countryside, vases, small churches. I mean, we do not even know
what, *what* in the name of God's *ass* is the purpose of
potpourri! Looks like breakfast, smells like your auntie! Why do we
need that? So please, in this strange and frightening world, allow
us one last place to call our own. This toilet, this blessed pot,
this... fortress of solitude. You girls, you may go to the bathroom
in groups of two or more. Yet we do not pass comment. We do not
make judgement. That is your choice. But we men will always walk
the toilet mile... alone.
[audience applauds]
Susan: Would you like me to put the lock back on the toilet door,
dear?
Steve: Would you mind?
Susan: You should have asked.
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Jeff: I bet Patrick could pull lesbians... he'd confuse them with his
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kind if you were a space alien with a special kind of mind ray...?
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say gusset accidentally?
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Jeff: She's leaving the country... she doesn't speak English... I
insulted her friend's breasts... and she thinks I collect women's
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where she lives...
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guys. [beat] Did I really just say that?
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Steve: No no, Jeff please. Normally... has never been used in the
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Jane: I have twelve breasts! Sorry, I was rounding up.
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Sally: I don't want Mr. Superbly, Incredibly Fantasticness, you
stupid, stupid ass. I want you.
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Sally: I'm sor-You're Mr. Superbly, Incredibly Whatever?
Patrick: [gesturing to self] Well, yes!
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Patrick: The right one. [To others] Trust me.
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Julia Davis: My brain melts and my breasts stick out.
Jane: I've shagged and shagged and shagged, and all the little
bastards missed!
37156c37512
[episode - The Circus]
37158c37514,37519
arse over... whatsit in front of 250 people. And I bonked my head,
I thought I was a gonner and I heard them as I hit the floor go
'ohhh!' like that. And it was weird, 'cause I like took off. I just
like flew! And I was just so embarrassed, I was like 'no, I'm fine,
I'm fine, just get back on, just get back on, just get back on, I'm
fine, I'm fine'.
37160c37521
[episode - The Circus]
37162c37523
we do is...
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Toto performing monkey 1: Working with each other.
Muzulu performing monkey 2: Yeah.
Toto performing monkey 1: You're constantly having to travel with
each other, work with each other, be creative...
Muzulu performing monkey 2: [interrupting] Do interviews
Toto performing monkey 1: Do interviews, do everything together.
37165c37532
[episode - The Circus]
37167c37534,37535
Sid the rat: Neither can I. I can juggle with two things, not with
three.
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Sid the rat: No. It's just chucking stuff up in the air, isn't it.
37171,37172c37539,37546
[episode - The Circus]
Alvin the dancing bear: Apart from doing a bit of stretching, a bit
of yoga, trying to get my foot behind my neck and stuff like that,
just to kind of loosen the old gizzards. Um, we used to get down
and do 'bang out 20! Drop and give me 20!', so we used to do that.
And then all stick our knuckles together, like loads of bravado
kind of blokey business, put your knuckles together. Things like
that.
37174c37548
[episode - The Circus]
37178c37552
[episode - The Circus]
37184,37185c37558,37565
[episode - The Circus]
Mr Tickles the seal: You feel sick sometimes, but as soon as I go on
stage I think 'well, this is it. I can't turn back now, I'm on, I'm
on, I'm on, I'm on, oh God, here comes the light, the light's going
up, the light's going up'. Inside, the real me is saying 'oh my
God, oh my God', you know, 'here we go, why am I doing this? I love
it when I'm doing it, I know I like when I'm doing but why am I
doing it? I'm glad I didn't have too much to eat'.
37187c37567
[episode - The Circus]
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[episode - The Circus]
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[episode - The Circus]
37201c37581
[episode - The Circus]
37205c37585,37592
[episode - The Sea]
The Shark: I have to say I don't really like the idea of what's
below. I find it a bit kind of like, ooh, I think how deep am I, or
is there going to be kind of, you know, 'cause I do swim quite a
way out but I have to say the further out, it's sort of like
testing myself, like 'go on, go on, how far can you go'.
[episode - Pets at the vets]
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[episode - The Circus]
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[episode - The Circus]
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[episode - The Circus]
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[episode - The Circus]
Muzulu performing monkey 2: We spent a huge amount of time when we
were on the road exercising, we would stay up all night long
practising our handstands, we used to spend hours balancing and
tumbling and helping each other learn new tricks, use our bicycles,
that sort of thing.
[episode - The Circus]
37239c37633
[episode - The Circus]
37244c37638
[episode - The Circus]
37247c37641
[episode - Pets at the vets]
37249c37643
and if I get a little nagging pain I automatically think it's
37254c37648
Sid the rat: Shall we row about this now?
37256c37650
[episode - Working Animals]
37262,37263c37656,37662
[episode - Working Animals]
Battery Hen #1: It *is* very repetitive
Battery Hen #2: Oh yeah, it is very repetitive. The foreman's always
watching you.
Battery Hen #4: But we couldn't, we couldn't wander about, we can't
wander about but if we make a mistake, but then we would be
severely reprimanded.
37265c37664
[episode - The Sea]
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[episode - The Sea]
37273c37672
[episode - The Garden]
37277c37676
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
37279,37281c37678,37688
I was born I nearly died. I had a 50-50 per cent chance of living
when I was born and I was in a little incubator and my eyes were
all covered over and I was yellow. Which was awful.
[episode - Working Animals]
Police dog #1: You know when I was very young, and first went with
the force, if there was four or five hooligans, you know, sort of
standing in the way, they would be told to move. And God help them
if they didn't move. You know, they'd get a bite on the bum and
probably a smack round the earhole with a cabe, erm, you know, from
the policeman.
37283,37287c37690,37722
[episode - Working Animals]
Police dog #2: You can't have an effective working police dog which
is non-agressive. As they get older, all they want to do is be the
leader of the pack, it's their instinct, and every now and again he
probably just challenges me for the leadership of the pack and
every now and again we have a little tete-a-tete.
[episode: The Circus]
Matilda the cow: We did a show a couple of years ago and about 8,000
kids saw it. We had about 1,000 kids per performance and these kids
were like about 8 or 9, screaming blue murder. Oh I've never been
so scared in all my life, I thought 'what am I doing, I must be
stupid' but you get out there and you look out and they're just
loving it and they're totally engrossed in what you're doing.
Ivana the lion: I don't find the clowns funny. I do begrudge them
coming on. I find it quite insulting.
[episode - The Circus]
Sid the rat: Slapstick just isn't funny, I don't think. D'you know
what I mean? A car falling apart and somebody falling over
[episode: Pets at the Vets]
Performing dog 2: Well, I'm sorry, I'm one of these that goes to the
doctor when it's generally necessary, I mean I ain't one of these
who goes for every pill, potion and tablet that there is. You know,
If I know what's the matter with me I expect the doctor to do
something about it, I won't be fobbed off by them.
[episode: Pets at the Vets]
Alvin the dancing bear: I've fallen for a nurse, yeah. I fell for a
nurse once, blond, beautiful lady, quite nice she was, yes, used to
travel to Birmingham to see her on the old motorbike.
37290,37291c37725,38142
Battery Hen #1: Come on, I'm watching you. Half an hour's gone and
you 'aven't done nothing.
[episode: Pets at the Vets]
The Piranha Fish: I rarely go to the doctor. Last time I went, he
thought I'd died because I hadn't been for such a long time.
[episode - The Circus]
The Elephant: You've got to communicate with the audience but not to
look at them because you are apart from them and it would break the
illusion.
[episode - The Circus]
Pickles: Erm, no what I enjoy about the clowns I think they're very
talented actually, because erm when clowns get together at the
circus they can do things that are very funny, like they can throw
custard pies at each other and things, in a very funny way to make
a lot of people laugh and you have to be very talented to be able
do that, you have to be an entertainer.
[episode - The Circus]
Pickles: And, erm, they're very funny actually.
[episode - The Circus]
Performing dog #1: No, oh my goodness, no way, they're so horrible.
They're, they're really frightening and I think a lot of people are
scared of clowns.
[episode - The Circus]
The Black Horse: [discussing clowns and slapstick] If it's badly done
it can be very sad.
The White Horse: It's totally embarassing, yeah, I don't like clowns
The Black Horse: If it doesn't work out you feel pity for them and
that's like so awful.
[episode - The Circus]
The Elephant: The one I first saw when I was a little kid was called
Doodles. Yes, I like the clowns, I like the clowns, I like
slapstick.
[episode - The Circus]
The Elephant: If there aren't a few butterflies around in the tummy
before you go on stage, you're probably not going to give a good
performance, you've got to be keyed up.
[episode - The Circus]
The Flying Pig: You'd think after all this time I wouldn't, but yes I
still do, I still freak out and panic and fear, you know, the
audience reaction to me and [pause] and then I get over it.
[episode - The Circus]
Mr Tickles the seal: Every time I went on, I could just *feel* the
people laughing at me, it was fantastic. That gives me such a buzz.
Such a hell of a buzz.
[episode - The Circus]
Muzulu performing monkey 2: We turned down Freddie Starr, didn't we.
Toto performing monkey 1: We turned down Freddie Starr.
Muzulu performing monkey 2: Freddie Starr couldn't pay enough for us.
That was the highlight of our career.
Toto performing monkey 1: That was the highlight of our career,
turning down Freddie Starr.
[episode - The Circus]
The Elephant: That's something I hadn't really considered, appearing
on television. But if the chance came, yes. Yes, it would be a new
dimension.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
The Great Tit: The best effective medicine is I have no idea.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
Clement the Bloodhound: Now you see I've had a lot of things wrong
with me, I mean I'm always coming to the doctors, and you get there
and you find that, you know, there's queues to wait all the time,
int there? Most of the time. And then, well I mean, doctors, a lot
of the time waiting in queues, I mean, most of the time you spend
most of the time at the doctors just waiting, don't you.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
The Pig: Doctors and I are great friends, I owe a lot to doctors,
they've kept me alive. I've seen a lot of them, they've come,
they've prodded me from top to bottom, in and out, every end, every
part of my body, and they've cut me open and stitched me up and
done a pretty good job on me all over.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
Performing dog 2: I can't deal with sputum and I can't do very much
with feet. I can't do anything with anybody's feet, doing anything
with me own sputum really makes me stomach turn over. You know.
[pause] I don't mind vomit.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
Ivana the lion: I developed a funny lock-jaw, you know, dribble was
coming out the side of my mouth, I couldn't speak, I couldn't chew,
I just wanted to die. Took one look at me and said 'oh, that's an
allergic reaction', he gave me my antidote and immediately my mouth
just went back to normal.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
Clement the Bloodhound: That's what I've got now, I've got throat
swelling now, and I've got the tablets, you know, I've got the
tablets for that for the moment as well.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
Clement the Bloodhound: Now, you see, I've had a lot of things wrong
with me. There was big problems with my eyes at one stage. I went
in about my eyes a lot of times, and had to go and see specialists
but you see what they do is they clamp your head in this big clamp
and they want to bounce things on your eyeballs. Well, you can't,
you know, I couldn't be doing with that, you know, so I'm pulling
my head out of this clamp all the time. That's another occasion
when they told me I could just go me own way so I got thrown out of
there as well.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
The Nag: I've took a lot of tablets all me life, about 23,000 and I'm
still alive but at the end of the day, I think without them I'd
have been dead.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
Fluffy the hamster: I once had my head slammed in a door, that was
good. I was saying goodbye to my friend and somebody slammed the
door on my head, and it was my birthday and I had to have five
stitches in my head so I've got them as well.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
Performing dog 2: I mean, I could have had a DVT, couldn't I, laid in
bed all that time, but I mean as I say they gave me an
anti-coagulant, anyway, I'm here to tell the story so there's
people worse off than I am and I can walk about alright.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
The Bright Yellow Budgie: I had an eye operation quite a few years
ago. I flew very quickly after I'd had the eye operation and it was
a real concern, I shouldn't have flown because it put too much
pressure behind the eye.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
Performing dog 2: I had a blood test the other day but I *do not*
like needles, I don't like needles at all. I look away when I'm
having an injection.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
Muzulu performing monkey 2: I'm fine with injections into any part of
my body but I won't have them in my mouth and the reason is that...
Toto performing monkey 1: I've always been completely the opposite, I
love injections in my mouth.
Muzulu performing monkey 2: Really.
Toto performing monkey 1: I really quite like them and in fact the
more sort of intrusive the dentistry the better, I like it really.
Muzulu performing monkey 2: Well, I'm not keen on dentists now, I was
the last in England to be gassed.
Toto performing monkey 1: They didn't use enough gas did they.
Muzulu performing monkey 2: No, I mean I did come round. But, erm,
that's when they first started phasing gas out because they said
gas is too dangerous.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
The Piranha Fish: The big black mask, you can see it coming towards
your face and the smell of the rubber and having all my bottom
teeth filled without anaesthetic. Dentists. Just brutal. Really
brutal.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
Clement the Bloodhound: Dr Bewers, he was, he was very good, that
boy, I mean, I think he was the first one who told me, you know,
some of the many things that was wrong with me. Er, you know, I had
a problem of the inner ear and asthma what I had for a long time.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
Lazy Cat: I've got a small scar on me forehead where a child threw a
brick at me, well it seemed like a brick at the time. And I've got
a scar here.
Lazy Dog: I have no scars. I have no scars whatsoever anywhere.
Lazy Cat: You have.
Lazy Dog: Have I? You can't count that as a scar, it's only little.
Lazy Cat: Well it is a scar.
Lazy Dog: Well, I don't count it as a scar so.
Lazy Cat: Do you not?
Lazy Dog: No
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
Fluffy the hamster: I've got a scar on my elbow and a scar on my
other elbow and a scar on my knee and a scar on my other knee, my
tongue, my head. I don't think I've got any other scars, not
physical ones, mental ones obviously I've got a lot of them but you
can't see them because they're inside my brain.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
Ivana the Lion: On my face, my legs, my stomach, my arms, wrists,
hands, everywhere. There is no one part on my body that does not
have a scar.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
The Pig: I was injured badly once, somebody kicked me in the
forehead. Being very young, I got up and carried on and didn't
think it had done me much damage, for all I know some of that
damage may still be there, may still affect some of the things I do
and some of the things I say.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
The Piranha Fish: I think it's great. I love smiling, I love being
happy and jovial, telling jokes, being the butt end of jokes but
hey now I can do it with a mouth full of teeth and I'm really
looking forward to it.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
Toto performing monkey 1: I've broken all my toes, I've got a dodgy
knee, I've bust both my ankles and bent my feet back round so
they're next to my shins, broken my hand and my wrist, my
collarbones three times, bashed my head, knackered my back [pause]
but it's all been worth it.
[episode - Working Animals]
Pickles: I really look forward to going to work because I really
enjoy working with people that have got difficulties and struggles
and I feel like I can make a difference.
[episode - Pets at the Vets]
Clement the Bloodhound: Now it's a lot of talk is what I find. Er,
now, yeah, sorry what was the question again?
[episode - Working Animals]
The Cockroach: I think it's good to work because you get dignity from
it and I've done all kinds, I've worked in a hotel, I worked in
this hotel in Tinmouth and I'd be there at night, I'd work on the
desk, I'd help in the kitchen but I also cleaned toilets. I mean
why not? I like different roles and it just means I can channel the
madness in different areas.
[episode - Working Animals]
Teeth-cleaning bird: From, I think, just on a personal level, yeah I
do prefer to provide a valuable service to them, definitely, I mean
it's not necessarily painful but sometimes it can be a bit
uncomfortable, you know, sort of like pulling at their cheeks
sometimes to get right to the back of the teeth, so enjoy the end
result, I think that's what they enjoy.
[episode - Working Animals]
Battery Hen #2: Teamwork. That's one thing about it I like. I
wouldn't like to work on my own. There used to be more...
Battery Hen #1: There used to be 200 of us
Battery Hen #2: We've lost quite a few
Battery Hen #1: We're all getting older now look
[episode - Working Animals]
Male Pheasant: Early on, when you're young, you kind of get too
excited and you use up so much energy getting nervous, as you get
older, now that I'm older you just try and stay calm [gunshot and
pheasant hides behind a bush] ohhh go away!
[episode - Working Animals]
Lab Mouse 9: The thing about being in a lab is you're your own boss,
you're free to sort of run several things at once and it's a very
sociable atmosphere in many labs and ours is a great place to work
and in some labs you can have music playing because a lot of what
you're doing isn't using your brain at the time.
[episode - Working Animals]
Lab Mouse 4: I think we should all be in clinical trials, we have a
moral obligation. Fortunately, I've never been asked but I take so
many drugs anyhow I *am* a clinical trial.
[episode - Working Animals]
Lazy Dog: They use mice, don't they, for things.
Lazy Cat: What? Eyeliner?
Lazy Dog: It's not nice, really is it?
Lazy Cat: What? Lipstick on a Yorkshire terrier?
Lazy Dog: No.
[episode - Working Animals]
The Greyhound: I feel that if I've given my best performance and it's
a good one then obviously I get the reward, the pat on the back,
knowing that you've tried to do your best for your coach they've
given you the training, the least you can do is- [race starts]
[episode - Working Animals]
The Dolphin: I do define goals and targets, but then when you get
going it's fun, it's just good fun, really. It doesn't feel like
work, it just feels like you're just being really silly.
[episode - Working Animals]
The Blackbird: You know, my job is, you know, I'm in the
entertainment business, so you know I'm a singer, actress,
whatever, that means I do a lot of travelling, you know, I have to
fly to different countries sometimes.
[episode - Working Animals]
The Nag: I'm alright walking on the flat and downhill but I can't go
uphill, soon as I start to go uphill I get chest pains, it starts
to tighten up so what I do where I live there's a downhill slope
down to the, what they call the co-op, I walk down there and come
back on the bus.
[episode - Working Animals]
The Greyhound: It can be stressful, yes, as a runner because you
strive to- [race starts]
[episode - Working Animals]
Lab Mouse 4: I'm terrified of retirement. Terrified. I really like my
work and I don't want to retire. No.
[episode - Working Animals]
The Nag: The ideal weather for me is dry, about 68, 65 to 68 I'm
perfect, anything over that or under that, I'm struggling,
especially in cold mornings. I shouldn't really go out in cold
mornings, I've been told, I shouldn't go out in cold mornings, I
shouldn't go out in the wind, and I also, you know, I should just
do what I can do and as I say some days I can move mountains, the
next day I can't do anything.
[episode - Working Animals]
The Greyhound: Tactics are very important in a race.
[episode - Working Animals]
The Cockroach: You know, you hear about chefs being crazy, he was
crazy, he would throw knives around, you know, thankfully I didn't
have a lot of dealings with him, 'cause I was, you know, dealing
with other, sort of, areas in the hotel, but I just kept out of his
way. My friend got it in the neck.
[episode - Working Animals]
The Dolphin: I like that feeling of, like, accomplishing something,
but if I had a choice, I would rather not work, and just really
just have a really nice life, yeah, I think sometimes you feel a
bit like you're a slave to someone else really.
[episode - Working Animals]
Pickles: If you work every day and you're doing something you don't
enjoy then life must be so miserable, you know, and if you're doing
something you don't enjoy, I don't know why you don't just give it
up and do something you do enjoy because, you know, you may as well
enjoy life because you don't live for very long so you may as well
enjoy what you're doing when you are working and I really enjoy
what I do and if I ever did something that I didn't enjoy then I'd
give it up immediately and do something that I really did enjoy
because I like to enjoy life, you know.
[episode - Working Animals]
The Owl: I'm looking for job of the sort of clerical nature,
administrative perhaps, preferably to do with customer relations.
[episode - Working Animals]
The Greyhound: When I retire from racing, I don't even like to think
about it, I feel that each day I can run, touch wood, with, er,
injury free conditions then I'll run til I drop.
[episode - Working Animals]
Battery Hen #2: When we work in a factory we are looked after, aren't
we, we have the dentist, the chiropodist.
Battery Hen #4: Chest x-rays.
Battery Hen #2: We get all our injections done and everything, you
know, without even going out of the factory, which is good.
[episode - Working Animals]
Maggot on a fishhook: You can't be morbid, else you wouldn't be able
to do the work, you've got to have laugh or a joke, you have a
joke, you know. It's just you or them, isn't it. Just animal
instinct.
[episode - Working Animals]
Battery Hen #5: I think Feng Shui should be introduced to all office
environments.
[episode - Working Animals]
Teeth-cleaning bird: I'd like to have a go at trying to clean an
elephant's tusks.
[episode - Working Animals]
Lab Mouse 4: Can I just tell you something, that is not a human ear
on the back of a mouse, that is one of the most grotesque
misrepresentations that I know, it's a piece of cartilage *shaped*
like a human ear put into an epithelial covering, it's *not* a
human ear.
[episode - The Sea]
The Turtle: The sea, that black vastness, coupled with your
imagination of the sea and the fact that the sea has all these
creatures that are from other planets, the vastness of the sea out
there and sea monsters and dark, you're right against it, you know
what I mean? You're right against it.
[episode - The Sea]
The Amoeba: How is water water? It's an eternal mystery. Every time I
look at it, it just completely amazes me. It behaves unlike any
other material that we've got on the planet. It has a property that
nothing else has which is a form of quantum coherence. But water
seems to have, the quantum coherence field moves outside the
molecule and the water can be seen to be acting as a whole and this
is extraordinarily unusual.
[episode - The Sea]
Walrus 1: You enjoy being buoyed up by it, but of course with every
swell there's always a little dip at the other side so that's
something that you always have to check for and be aware of.
Walrus 2: That's too clever for me, all that stuff.
[episode - The Sea]
The Dolphin: I was scared of the sea because it was really big and I
was really little, and it was just really huge and it was cold and
it was unpredictable and, you know, you'd get splashed and knocked
over and I got dumped a few times by the waves and I didn't like
that at all, not one bit, and it would be all in my eyes, and no it
wasn't very nice but once I learned to swim, I was much happier and
now I can't wait, I'll always go swimming in the sea now.
[episode - The Sea]
Walrus 1: I think it's a great medium, it supports you, it's fun,
it's, you know, a beautiful environment to be in so for me, I love
water
Walrus 2: I don't love water, I'm scared in the water.
[episode - The Sea]
The Jellyfish: When I'm swimming on my front, I haven't still learned
the technique of tilting my head to the side and taking in a
breath. I take in a lot of water, that's the way it is, seriously I
drink so much water that it's a danger to others.
37920a38772,38789
Garrett: You ready for this?
Jordan: Yeah... Look at me man, I am a vision of authority. I'll just
order the keg and line up the togas.
Devan Maguire: I've always been a good judge of character. I read
people very well and I don't think he's guilty.
Woody: I'm a pretty good judge of character too Devon. I had you
pegged didn't I?
Devan Maguire: Don't tell me... Pushy, driven...
Woody: And sometimes intolerable. See... Impressive isn't it?
Bug: You take it! I've got a date with a drug addict... Autopsy 4.
Dr. Peter Winslow: She doesn't want me... She wants you.
Bug: What? Someone... wants me?
Bug: She saw my name on the directory and a big sign on my forehead
that said dumbass!
38497a39367,39370
Presenter: [sitting at a piano and facing the camera] There's
something not quite right here, and I don't just mean my piano
playing!
39282a40156,40174
Contributor, 'Back in Black': War is all the rage these days, so let
me lay another one on you - TIVO vs. Advertisers. With more and
more Americans zapping commercials, advertisers are going guerilla
on our asses. Taking it to new and better heights. For example,
five-foot tall bulimic men. The Churchill Downs recently OK'd the
jockeys to wear advertisements on their shorts. The commission for
the Churchill Downs has stated in the past that it didn't want,
quote "advertisements that would not taint or destroy the fine
tradition here at Churchill Downs". That means that they didn't
want ads tainting the nobility of gambling. Which means no ads for
glue or dog food, it upsets the horses! So what did the ads permit?
An ad for Hypnotiq, a liquor made from vodka, cognac, and tropical
fruit juices. Just perfect for Derby Day. And it's the only drink
more likely to make you puke than a mint julep. Baseball has also
permitted these ads, but the players wont wear them. Not because of
the purity of the game, but the ads conflict with the player's own
endorsement deals. Speed Stick? I thought they endorsed Right
Guard! Say it aint so!
39533,39534c40425,40426
middle-aged profiteers are looking to suck the energy - not to
mention the spending money - out of the "youth culture." So they
39870a40763,40770
Tiffany: Making friends... is...
Daria: [taps foot impatiently] Fun? Interesting? Impossible?
Tiffany: ...important. Friends can be... very... [clock ticks from
3:00 to 3:01]
Daria: Useful? Supportive? Purple? What?
Tiffany: You made me lose my place. [grunts softly in frustration]
Let's see... Making friends... is... important...
42039a42940,42947
Kirsty Wark: Hello, I'm Kirsty Wark. You scumbag, you maggot, you
cheap lousy faggot, merry Christmas your arse, I pray god it's our
last. More on that story later.
Kirsty Wark: Hello, this is Kirsty Wark. My milkshake brings all the
boys to the yard, and they're like: It's better than yours. Damn
right, It's better than yours. More on that story later.
42256a43165,43173
Calamity Jane Canary: I'm drunk, correct. What the fuck is it to you?
Reverend H.W. Smith: This is God's purpose, but not knowing the
purpose is my portion of suffering.
Doc Cochran: If this is His will, He is a son of a bitch.
Cy Tolliver: Sayin' questions in that tone and pointin' your finger
at me will get you told to fuck yourself.
42678c43595
[Their Yuletide Homes design has been stolen]
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[Boarding a plane]
42710c43627
[En route to Japan]
42771a43689,43698
Carlene Frazier Dobber: I've learned one thing in my life; never fry
chicken when you are naked.
Mary Jo Shively: You know, Allison kind of reminds you of an elf; a
mean, vicious little elf.
Charlene: I asked this Northern woman, "Where are ya'll from?" And
she said, "I'm from a place where we don't end our sentences with
prepositions." So I said, "Okay, where are ya'll from, bitch?"
43546a44474,44478
Asok: You can use my key to open the box with its teeth.
Dilbert: To open this box I'll need something stronger than a key.
Asok: I once killed a cougar with this key. [pause] It was a really
small cougar. [pause] It might have been a potato.
45788a46721,46722
Kaare: That's not a problem.
48052c48986
[the kids have had enough of Venger foiling their attempts to get
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Shiela: But how? Nobody can stop Venger. Not even Dungeon Master!
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Dr. Mark Greene: [giving orders to an intern as doctors begin
scattering] Do you know what this is all about?
Dr. Peter Benton: Building collapsed in the Loop. They're sending us
a dozen hot ones.
Dr. Mark Greene: Yeah, well who's on?
Dr. Peter Benton: Just us.
Dr. Mark Greene: [to intern] OK, forget all that.
Dr. Peter Benton: Anybody want any coffee?
Dr. Susan Lewis: Yeah, I do.
Dr. Peter Benton: How do you take it?
Dr. Susan Lewis: Same as yesterday and the day before that.
Dr. Peter Benton: And they call *me* a smartass.
Carol Hathaway: [entering the lounge, all the doctors stare at her]
Is something wrong?
Dr. Peter Benton: Oh, you bet there is. We're out of coffee again
because the nurses have been taking it, that's what's wrong.
Carol Hathaway: So make some more.
Dr. Peter Benton: Make some more? We work 36 hours on, 18 off, which
is 90 hours a week, 52 weeks a year. For that, we are paid $23,739
before taxes, and we also have to *make* the coffee?
Carol Hathaway: My heart is breaking.
Dr. Peter Benton: [the regular ER doctors are watching new med
student John Carter wait nervously at the desk] Oh, man, would you
look at this?
Dr. Mark Greene: Huh. That's the first tailored white coat I've ever
seen.
Dr. Peter Benton: Isn't he lovely.
Dr. Susan Lewis: Lovely.
Dr. Mark Greene: Think he knows anything?
Dr. Doug Ross: He knows how to dress.
Dr. Peter Benton: Well, he's my student. I'll find out.
Dr. Peter Benton: Do you know how to start an IV?
Dr. John Carter: Uh... actually, no.
Dr. Peter Benton: I thought you were third year.
Dr. John Carter: I am... but all I've done are dermatology and
psychiatry.
Dr. Peter Benton: The well-dressed specialities, huh?
Dr. Peter Benton: [showing Carter around] X-Ray is around the corner.
They're a bunch of idiots.
Dr. David Morgenstern: [instructing Carter] Dr. Benton is one of the
best residents we have, you learn everything you can from him -
except attitude. [walks away]
Dr. Peter Benton: He didn't mean that.
Dr. David Morgenstern: [from next room] Yes he did!
Dr. Peter Benton: Do we have anybody to sew up?
Nurse Haleh Adams: How would I know?
Dr. Peter Benton: Ya know, I love this great spirit of camaraderie,
everybody wants to help, you know?
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Ed: [dressed as an octopus's tentacle] I am an Ed-o-pus, cuz I'm Ed!
49579,49580c50568,50570
Marie: Yeah, take a hike!
Eddy: I was wondering... how many anchors do you own?
[grins]
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Ed: [pops out from the legs] I'm the legs!
49592c50582,50583
Ed: Oh no! Not me!
[starts running]
51303a52295,52298
Frank Barone: What's for brunch, Marie?
Marie Barone: Ham.
Frank Barone: Excellent. I shall put on my ham pants.
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can't... and you don't have to dream of them, 'cause I'm gonna take
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years ago, I first signed to - I guess she's 13, now - I'll think
of you every day. God bless all the little children in the world.
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[End of Fast Money, amid general laughter]
Richard Dawson: I asked you to name a time when people usually get
out of bed. Like the Einstein you are, you said..."Morning." Our
survey said...
[Bzzt]
Richard Dawson: Zero. Then I asked you, name a time when people
usually go to bed. You said, of course..."Night." Our survey
said...
[Ding!]
Richard Dawson: Two!
54377a55384,55413
Police Officer: Pulls Peter over in car.
Police Officer: License and reg... hey, aren't you the guy who found
out he's part black?
Peter Griffin: Yes I am.
Police Officer: Report of a possible stolen vehicle.
Peter Griffin: But this is my car.
Police Officer: Suspect becoming unruly
Peter Griffin: Wha...
Police Officer: Officer down.
Police Officer: Officer falls to ground, police cars surround Peter
Glen Quagmire: Hey Peter, you can't drink that outside. You're gonna
end up in jail. And not the good jail you see on Cinemax. The man
jail.
Stewie Griffin: Damn it! I want pancakes! God! You people understand
every language except English. Yo quiero pancakes. Donnez-moi
pancakes. Click-click-bloody click pancakes!
Peter Griffin: You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League
Chew.
Salesman: Well, we found out what the problem with your vacuum
cleaner was: Apparently there was a meatball lodged inside.
Peter Griffin: Did you save the meatball?
Salesman: Ummm, no...?
Peter Griffin: [beat] You bastard.
Peter Griffin: [As Tom Hanks from Castaway] Wilson! Wilson! Wilson!
What are we gonna do now? Wilson!
Voigt: My name's Voigt you dumbass!
57673,57675c58709,58715
Mal: Yeah, that went well.
Inara: You call this going well?
Mal: We got the loot didn't we?
Inara: Yes, but ...
Mal: Then I call it a win. What's the problem?
Inara: Should I start with the part where you're stranded in the
middle of nowhere or the part where you have no clothes?
57684a58725,58728
Mal: Which one you figure tracked us?
Zoë: The ugly one, sir.
Mal: Could you be more specific?
59203a60248,60268
Frasier: As some of you may know, yesterday I was mentioned in Derek
Mann's "Mann About Town" column. He said, and I quote, "I Hate
Frasier Crane"..."I Hate Frasier Crane". What trenchant criticism.
Move aside Voltaire, step back in the shadows H.L. Mencken, there's
a new kid in town. One can only wonder how many hours Derek Mann
sat in the glow of his computer screen before his trembling fingers
sprang to life and pecked out this chef d'oeuvre: "I... HATE...
Frasier Crane."
Daphne: [while Eddie the dog is eating Nile's sugar, which he is
using to prove he can take care of a child] That dingo's got your
baby.
Frasier: [responding to a caller] Roger, at Cornell University they
have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the
Tunneling Electron Microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful
that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom,
the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. Roger,
if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able
to locate my interest in your problem.
60239a61305,61314
Joey: [Chick Jr and Duck Jr are trapped in the Foosball table] Does
that mean we're gonna have to bust it open?
Chandler: I don't know. Maybe.
Joey: Oh my God!
Chandler: I know, it's the Foosball table.
Joey: Alright, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like what
I'd have said in that Sci-Fi movie if I'd gotten the part: "Those
are our men in there, and we have to get 'em out. Even if I have to
sacrifice the most important thing in my life... my time machine."
60436a61512,61518
Joey: Ok Ross, you're gettin a divorce... you're angry, you're
hurtin... can I tell you what the answer is?... STRIP JOINTS! Come
on! You're single! Have some hormones!
Ross: But I don't want to be single... I just want to be married
again [Rachel walks in wearing wedding dress]
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars!
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Joey: There will come a time in each of your careers when you'll have
a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an
opportunity in the recent, present. And I'm ashamed to say that I
took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually.
Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out,
they... liked the stupid gay thing and cast him! And now, he's got
a two year contract opposite Susan Lucci, the First Lady of daytime
television, and me, me I'm stuck here teaching a bunch of people,
most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV!
Ross: Hi...
Joey: Pfft... This guy says, "Hello," I wanna kill myself.
Ross: Grab a spoon... Do you know how long it's been since I grabbed
a spoon? Do the words "Billy don't be a hero" mean anything to you?
Joey: Great story! But I gotta go... I date with Angela... Andrea...
Oh man!
Chandler: Andrea's the screamer, Angela has cats.
Joey: Right thanks... it's Julie... I'm outta here!
Rachel: Guess what?
Ross: You got a job?
Rachel: Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed at 12
interviews today
Chandler: And yet you're surprisingly upbeat!
Rachel: Well you would be too if you got new boots 50% off
Chandler: Oh how well you know me
Ross: Oh I gotta go kids... I go Lamaze class
Chandler: Oh! And I got Earth Science but I'll catch you in Gym?
Ross: So I don't know if he's testing me or just acting out but my
monkey is OUT OF CONTROL!... He keeps erasing the messages on my
machine!
Rachel: Oh yeah... I've done that
Ross: And a few days ago he got to the newspaper before I did and
peed all over the crossword!
Rachel: I've never done that
Ross: And last night I don't know what he did but there were capers
EVERYWHERE!
Chandler: I know they call this a love seat but I'm not feeling
anything special towards you...
Ross: [takes newspaper... folds it up... faces Chandler... and hits
him... ]
Ross: I want someone who gets my heart pounding [sees Rachel]...
Someone who...
Chandler: Little play things with yarn?
Ross: What?
Chandler: Could you want her more?
Ross: Who?
Chandler: Dee the sarcastic sister from "What's Happening".
Rachel: Ok, well, I'm turnin' in.
Chandler: Rache we gotta settle.
Rachel: Settle what?
Chandler: The Jamestown Settlement of Virginia!
65652a66794,66798
Stephen Hawking: Oh, great. The universe has been destroyed.
Fry: Then where are we?
Al Gore: I don't know, but I damn well know where we're not - the
universe.
69869a71016,71140
Luke: Junkie.
Lorelai: Angel. You've got wings, baby.
Lorelai: Oh, hi. You really like my table don't you?
Joey: I was just, uh ...
Lorelai: Getting to know my daughter.
Joey: Your ...
Rory: Are you my new daddy?
Joey: Wow. You do not look old enough to have a daughter. No, I mean
it. And you do not look like a daughter.
Lorelai: That's possibly very sweet of you, Joey. Thanks.
Joey: So... daughter. You know, I am traveling with a friend.
Lorelai: She's sixteen.
Joey: Bye.
Rory: When are you going to let your parents know that you listen to
the evil rock music? You're an American teenager, for God's sake.
Lane: Rory, if my parents still get upset over the obscene portion
size of American food, I seriously doubt I'm gonna make any inroads
with Eminem.
Rory: You know, it sucks that after all these years your mom still
hates me.
Lane: She doesn't hate you.
Rory: She hates my mother.
Lane: She doesn't trust unmarried women.
Rory: You're unmarried.
Lane: I'm hayriding with a future proctologist. I have potential.
Emily: Champagne, anyone?
Lorelai: Oh, that's fancy.
Emily: Well it's not every day I have my girls here for dinner on a
day the banks are open.
Mrs. Kim: Boys don't like funny girls.
Rory: Noted.
Lorelai: This is it. She can finally go to Harvard like she's always
wanted and get the education that I never got and get to do all the
things that I never got to do and then I can resent her for it and
we can finally have a normal mother-daughter relationship.
Michel: People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any
more of them.
Rory: And we get to wear uniforms. No more having people check you
out to see what jeans you're wearing 'cause everyone's dressed
alike in boring clothes and just there to learn.
Lane: Okay, there's academic-minded and then there's Amish.
Rory: So do you like cake?
Dean: What?
Rory: They make really good cakes here. They're very... round.
Dean: Okay, I'll remember that.
Rory: Good. Make a note. You wouldn't want to forget where the round
cakes are.
Lorelai: The freaking Blue Man Group is outside our house!
Rory: I was sleeping through it!
Lorelai: It had to have woken you up.
Rory: No, my insane mother Margot Kidder Gilmore woke me up.
Lorelai: Luke, we sleep around here. Okay, we like it. It makes us
pretty and keeps us from killing our crazy friends.
Rory: Obviously he's met one of those Thursday afternoon girls.
Lane: What's a Thursday afternoon girl?
Rory: They're those slutty girls that get guys to switch their
Thursday afternoons with another checkout guy so they can go do
slutty Thursday afternoon things.
Rory: Taylor thinks I'm casing the place. Like I would ever shoplift
there.
Lane: You have shoplifted there.
Tristan: You should decorate this thing.
Rory: I did.
Tristan: Well, I mean with something other than a bunch of dead black
and white women.
Rory: What, like curtains?
Madline: Judy Garland is trendy?
Paris: Completely.
Louise: She was neo-addict retro chic.
Madline: No one tells me these things.
Taylor: All right, the nays have it. Let the record reflect it.
Lorelai, I hope that's not food in those bags. Food is not allowed
at town meetings.
Lorelai: No, Taylor. It's not. It's, um, diapers for the little ones.
Taylor: What?
Lorelai: Dorsal fins and Cucamonga.
Taylor: What did she say?
Lorelai: [whispers to Max] I confuse him till he loses his train of
thought and then he moves on. Hot dog?
Taylor: I don't get this, people. This man is practically a vagrant.
I mean, where do you even live? What do you do for a living?
Grant, the 1st Troubadour: I don't want people to know those things!
Taylor: Why not?
Grant, the 1st Troubadour: Because that's part of being a troubadour.
Taylor: What is part of being a troubadour?
Grant, the 1st Troubadour: The mystique!
Taylor: Oh, this is absolutely ridiculous. Do you subscribe to this
troubadour mystique?
The 2nd Troubadour: I run a Kinko's in Groton.
Grant, the 1st Troubadour: You see, that proves it. He doesn't
respect the code. You're not supposed to talk. You're not supposed
to run a Kinko's. You're supposed to speak through your music.
That's the whole point.
Louise: Nothing's wrong with her Mary.
Rory: Mary? Oh no, not this Virgin Mary thing again.
Louise: Not virgin. Typhoid.
Michel: Am I or am I not the head man in charge of floral deliveries?
Lorelai: Yes, and one of the few men I know who would proudly declare
that fact.
[Paris is getting concerned about the age difference between her and
a professor she's dating]
Paris: I'm 19. I should be rollicking. Asher doesn't rollick.
Rory: Well, he probably didn't rollick when he was younger either.
He's British.
71607a72879,72882
Lisa Douglas: Why do you want to irritate your corn?
Oliver Douglas: Irrigate. It means put water on it.
Lisa Douglas: Won't that irritate it?
72239a73515,73521
Peter Brennan: You know if you really want to worry about something,
how about asking why your daughter is wearing a cocktail dress to
play Scrabble with her parents.
Peter Brennan: [to Tim] You'd think, for once by accident, you'd
succeed.
72536a73819,73824
Alexander Anderson: [drawing his knives] Our mission is t' punish any
heretic who would deny the word of God! We will crush yer unholy
body and salt th' earth w' yer dust! Amen!
Alucard: [drawing his pistol] It's time somebody put you in your
place, human!
72559c73847
Hades: Uh, yeah, Poseidon, about a zillion times...
72613c73901
Jason: Oh well. I hear some fellow Grecians are working on a formula
72615a73904,73928
Hercules: Zeusapalooza? This is not dad's style at all.
Cassandra: This isn't anyone's style.
Icarus: Woo! Bring on the big Z, baby!
Zeus: [about to smite Salmoneus] Blasphemous infidel on the side
pocket.
Tiresias: I used to have vast knowledge. Now they pin my room number
on me.
Icarus: Yes, my friends, there's a lot to be learned from our elders.
for example, If I had listened to Daedalus and not flown into the
sun with wax wings...
Cassandra: ...You wouldn't be famous for doing something stupidly
reckless.
Icarus: Oh, man! I was this close to wisdom! This close!
[At the retirement home, Adonis has one of the boarders cleaning his
feet]
Hercules: Adonis, aren't you supposed to be helping him?
Adonis: Oh, but I am. I'm giving him gainful employment. Does wonders
for the self esteem.
Hercules: His, or yours?
Adonis: It's a win-win.
73610a74924,74925
Joyce Davenport: That's a crock of the well known article.
76953a78269,78279
# "I Am Not an Animal" (2003)
[the gang, having discovered Kieron strapped to a chair with his head
severed, agree to give him a cigarette]
Kieron the Cat: At least I won't get lung cancer!
[the Animal Liberationists have freed the gang from the compound,
when Phillip sticks his head into the cab of the truck]
Philip the Horse: Excuse me, is there any chance of a toilet break?
Mark: Well, you heard the man!
77654,77655c78980,78981
Michael Ian Black: Give me short skirts, give me roller skates, give
me Xanadu. I'm a happy man.
78667a79994,80013
David Banner: Damn! Car, you're making me angry, now if you get me
angry, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna turn you into a tin
sandwich!
Captain Welsh: Do you live near here, sir?
Jack McGee: No, no, no. I'm just a visitor like yourself, only you
brought more friends, some of whom wear strange uniforms. What's
going on?
Captain Welsh: Training exercise.
Jack McGee: Oh really?
Captain Welsh: Yes.
Jack McGee: I thought those usually took place on a military
reservation.
Captain Welsh: Usually. Not always, as you see.
Jack McGee: [gesturing towards a soldier wearing a Prometheus
uniform] What kind of uniform is that?
Captain Welsh: Civilian.
Jack McGee: On a military exercise?
Captain Welsh: Yes.
79836a81183,81188
US Ambassador Bartlett: How safe is this vest?
Gunnery Sgt. Granger: Oh, it's top of the line, ma'am. It can stop a
9mm round at point-blank range.
US Ambassador Bartlett: What if I get shot in the head?
Gunnery Sgt. Granger: ...Duck, Ma'am.
80497c81849
Mr. Spacely: - I certainly am. Sure hope nothing happens to that life
80507,80509c81859,81862
I'll never call him names again.
[Nearly has a head-on collision with another car]
George Jetson: Why you big strata-jerk. It's vacuum-heads like you
who keep fuselage and fender shops in business. Come on out and
80560a81914,81917
George Jetson: I hope you get ulcers in your cyclotron.
George Jetson: Olé! Olé! Oy vey!
81395c82752
Red Finch: I'll give you twenty bucks if you eat him.
81397a82755,82774
[Finch's father thinks he's gay, and he's trying to convince him that
he's not]
Red Finch: I'm sorry I missed all those signs when you were growing
up.
Dennis: What signs?
Red Finch: Well, what about that "special relationship" you had with
that effeminate guy Kelly?
Dennis: Kelly was a girl!
Red Finch: Wearing a baseball cap? I don't think so. And what about
that time you fell off the roof - ah, you screamed like a baby.
Dennis: I was 5! I landed on a rake, I split my head open! They said
I was lucky to be alive!
Red Finch: All right, don't throw a hissy fit!
[Finch's father thinks he's gay, and he's trying to convince him he's
not. Elliot walks by]
Dennis: Elliot, will you please tell him I'm not gay?
Elliot: You are so cute when you try to act butch. [grabs Dennis and
kisses him]
81610a82988,82990
Batman: Wally West, Diana Lane, Clark Kent... [Takes off mask] Bruce
Wayne.
The Flash: Show-off
81791a83172,83175
Eddie: You know what I like about you?
Fiona: What?
Eddie: Nothing.
82150,82151c83534,83536
Senor Senior Junior: I have been curious about the "whoosh"
Senor Senior, Sr.: I like the "whoosh." It's the door saying, "I am
closed."
82374c83759
Senor Senior, Sr.: Ah, the clever threat. Now, follow it up with a
82377a83763,83767
Shego: Y'know, for someone who's supposedly a mad genius, I'm not
seeing much of the "genius".
Dr. Drakken: Keep it up Shego, and you'll see plenty of the "mad".
Shego: [sarcastically] Ooh, scary man.
83530a84921,84940
Leland McKenzie: You are without a doubt the most obnoxious,
self-centered person I have every met! I want you gone! Out of this
firm!
Susan Bloom: And you are the most stubborn, controlling old fool I
have ever known! Are you planning to change?
Leland McKenzie: No!
Susan Bloom: Neither am I! So let's get back to work and make the
best of it.
Michael Kuzak: [Kuzak walks in on Kelsey and Markowitz during a
romantic encounter] Stuart? Ann?
Ann Kelsey: Yes, it's Stuart and Ann! We're fine. Now leave! [Kuzak
leaves and Sifuentes sticks his head in the door]
Victor Sifuentes: You guys okay? Need anything?
Ann Kelsey: We're fine, Victor! Now leave!
Leland McKenzie: [settling an argument during a staff meeting] It's
time you people remember whose name is at the top of the
letterhead!
84019a85430,85442
Arnold Schwarzenegger "Lips": Mein Führer! I could never have your
skills! I've disappointed you, mein Führer!
Conan O'Brien: Arnold, are you having a bad trip?
Arnold Schwarzenegger "Lips": No, it's a good trip.
Conan O'Brien: So, you called Cruz Bustamante and agreed that it was
a fair election? That was very professional of you, Governor.
Arnold Schwarzenegger "Lips": Ya! Zen I called him a fat little
chipmunk! I said he should change his name to Lose Bustyourpantski,
zen I had sex with his mother!
Conan O'Brien: What?
Arnold Schwarzenegger "Lips": Ya!
84077a85501,85503
Shirley Feeney: I do NOT vo-dee-oh-doh-doh!
Laverne De Fazio: You vo-dee-OH...
84542a85969,85972
Det. Ed Green: [a suspect, who'd complained of radiating pain in his
neck, tries to escape from his apartment; Green goes to apprehend
him] That's good, now radiate your ass up against the wall!
87071c88501
[Martha and Clark finally pick a good disguise for Clark]
87604a89035,89039
Lois: [Lois, Clark, Perry, Lex Luthor and Jack are all being held
hostage in the Daily Planet building] Jimmy... Jimmy, he could save
us!
Perry: Ah, come on, Jimmy couldn't save baseball cards.
89393a90829,90833
# "Making the Band 2" (2002)
Sara Stokes: [after P. Diddy dismantles Da Band in the series finale]
This is a crazy feeling right now; like we ain't Da Band no more.
90349a91790,91850
Lois: [entering the boys' room] What did you do?
Malcolm: What?
Lois: Don't give that look. What did you do?
Malcolm: Nothing.
Lois: Well I suppose you wouldn't mind if I... Took a look in here!
[opens a drawer]
Malcolm: Mom, I'm telling you. we didn't do anything.
Lois: [notices the curtains are closed] If you've broken another
window, it's coming out of your... [opens curtain]
Reese: Are you done? Wanna frisk me?
Lois: You just consider yourselves lucky. [leaves then immediately
returns, then closes door]
Dewey: [tied up on back of door] That was close.
Malcolm: Either she's losing her touch, or we're getting better.
Francis: There. Finished.
Reese: It's never been this clean before.
Malcolm: Uh-Oh. It's too clean.
Francis: You're right. She'll never buy it.
Francis: [finds cadet Finley in a cupboard] Finley, what are you
doing in here?
Cadet Finley: Poquito Cabeza!
Francis: Get out of there.
Cadet Finley: I can't. I've been marked by the Brothers of the
Apocalypse!
Francis: Please. Five seniors with limited imaginations.
Cadet Finley: Easy for you to say. You've got Stanley protecting you,
and you're not holding Poquito Cabeza.
Francis: Would you stop saying "Poquito Cabeza" so much?
Cadet Finley: I can't. Poquito Cabeza! Would you turn in my math
homework for me?
Francis: [Erasing Finley's name and writing his own] Poor Finley.
He's good at math, right?
Brothers of the Apocalypse: [chanting] Finley, Boom-ba-yay. Finley,
Boom-ba-yay.
Cadet Finley: [Gets carried away by gang] Oh no. AAH!
Cadet Stanley: Hold it. Froot Loops? [Finley hands him a cereal box]
Continue.
Cadet Finley: [as gang continues to chant] No! No! NO!
Hal: Dewey, what have I said about snitching?
Dewey: Only snitch when asked to snitch.
Lois: I brought Brownies.
Dorene: Well, isn't that thoughtful. Are those nuts?
Lois: Walnuts.
Dorene: Well we can't have that. Some of the children are severely
allergic.
Lois: Oh, my gosh, I had no idea. Whose child is allergic?
Dorene: Well no one in this class specifically, but you can never be
too careful [dumps the brownies in the trash]
Dorene: Beleive me, this wasn't meant to publicly humiliate you. I'm
sure they were delicious.
Malcolm: We have asbestos in the ceiling! Yay!
Major Hendrix: Are you sure you're 18?
Reese: Yes, and here's the I.D. to prove it. [shows him a fake I.D]
Major Hendrix: Alright then, Private Jetson.
93370a94872,94897
Jefferson: [watching the opening credits of "Married... With
Children" on TV] You believe that show is still on the air?
Al: It's a classic, I love it. Except for those stupid neighbors.
[Al's wiring has blown out the neighborhood's transformer on the
hottest day of the year]
Al: At least no one knows who's responsible.
Neighbor: It's Bundy! Al Bundy did this! Let's get him!
Kelly: My God, here they come! Where'd they get the pitchforks and
torches so fast?
Al: To put it in the words of your people, Marcy; cluck no!
Bud: Where's Dad?
Peggy: In the bathroom breaking in his new toilet. [Al walks in the
living room and sits on the couch]
Peggy: How was it, honey?
Al: I don't know, Peg. I'm constipated. This is the worst day of my
life. I wonder if this ever happened to Dad?
Peggy: Aww, honey. Do you want me to undercook you some chicken?
Al: No thanks, Peg. It'll take more than raw poultry to fix what's
wrong with me. [turns on TV]
TV Announcer: And now back to the rest of ABC's lineup: "Roseanne"
and the Emmy winning "Thirtysomething". [Al nods his head, picks up
the newspaper and walks back into the bathroom]
93710,93711c95237,95238
Cornelius Flavius Silva: A victory? What have we won? We've won a
rock in the middle of a wasteland, on the shores of a poisoned sea.
94765a96293,96364
# "Merry-Go-Round" (1998)
Alexei Sayle: So what have I been doing in between series? Well
obviously I like to spend a lot of time staring off into the middle
distance and humming.
Alexei Sayle: In 1940s and 1950s Britain, the country must have been
full of ex service men who were deeply damaged by their experiences
during World War 2, which would go someway towards explaining the
things that happened then... like Bill and Ben The Flower Pot Men
for example.
Alexei Sayle: I wouldn't normally say this but...
huwuckoohuluhuluhuluhuwuhluhurrrrrrrrh!
Alexei Sayle: I try and keep up with what's cool... I was talking to
this black kid the other day and I said, "Hey man, what's the word
on the street?" and he said, "No Parking."
Alexei Sayle: Boiled eggs with an obsessive fear of death pay
ludicrous amounts of money to be pickled in a special vinegar.
These eggs are not dead, they are just in a deep, deep slumber.
Alexei Sayle: There's a lot of stupid rules connected with eating
out, like you should only ever drink white wine with fish. That's
bloody stupid isn't it - have you ever tried getting pissed with a
haddock?
Alexei Sayle: Like a lot of bad things - global warming, skin cancer,
Freddie Starr...
Alexei Sayle: There are two main arguments in support of fox hunting.
One is that foxes kill chickens, but then so does Bernard Matthews,
and nobody advocates hunting him down with dogs and tearing him
apart! Well, nobody except me that is... and everyone I know.
Alexei Sayle: Another thing that really annoys me is astrology. When
people say to me, "What sign are you?" I usually say "No
Overtaking, Humpback Bridge."
Alexei Sayle: Jimi Hendrix - dead. Phil Collins - alive. Ginger
Rogers - dead. Sue Pollard - alive. Francis Bacon - dead. That
bloke out of Kula Shaker - alive. Death be not proud - who wrote
that? That's right, it was John Dunne. He of course has snuffed it,
whereas Sir Andrew Lloyd Stinking Sir Bloody Webber is still
stinking bloody with us! Shakespeare - dead. The wankers who wrote
'Three lions on a shirt! Football's cummin 'ome!' - still alive.
Bill Shankley - dead. Graham Taylor - alive. Karen Carpenter -
dead. The carpenter who fucked up my bleeding kitchen! Alive! It's
as if God has developed a nasty mean streak. Anybody the least bit
decent and wallop! Up they go! And what are we left with? The shite
- that's what! I'll give you some more examples - bloke down the
pub who said he'd do my accounts and introduce me to some powerful
people in American television - dead. Bloke down the pub, 120 years
old, spits in his beer, tells me about the great war - doesn't
sound so bleedin great to me - he's still alive. Bloke down the pub
owes me 80 quid - dead. Bloke down the pub who says he's going to
rearrange my testicles if I don't find the electric hedge trimmers
that he lent me six months ago - alive, alive, cockles and muscles
bleedin o! Bill Hicks, John Lennon, Orson Welles - dead. Michael
Bolton... Michael bleeding Bolton - alive. Roger Whittaker... Roger
leaveitalone bleeding stinky poxy Durham Town Whittaker still
bleeding alive! I'll give you another example - bloke down the pub,
he said to me 'Charlie,' cos he's always too pissed to remember my
bleeding name, he said 'Charlie, life is like a double-decker bus.
It's red, it's got an upstairs and a downstairs. Sometimes there's
a conductor, but these days usually just a driver.' And yes, you've
guessed it - he's still alive, the twat! I mean if you're mean, if
you're selfish, if you've got no bleeding talent you can do what
you like forever. But if you're the least bit good, if you're the
least bit talented then...... No. It's alright. I'm shite!
95720a97320,97323
Milton The Monster: Over my dead body!
Professor Weirdo: [smirks] That's the most *intelligent* suggestion
you've ever made!
96704c98307
[Hunting a moth]
96749a98353,98375
Mr. Mann: [in a recording studio] Well, then, what sort of thing were
you looking for?
Tick: Well, er, really something to make me feel a little less
insignificant.
Mr. Mann: Oh, I see, sort of "Now look here! You may be Chairman but
your bloody pusillanimous behaviour makes me vomit!" That sort of
thing?
Tick: Oh, no, no, no, not really, no.
Mr. Mann: Oh, I see, well perhaps something a bit more sort of Clive
Jenkins-ish? [Welsh accent] "Mr. Smarmy So-Called Harold Wilson can
call himself pragmatic until he's blue in the breasts!"
Tick: Oh no, I really want something that will make people be
attracted to me like a magnet.
Mr. Mann: I see, well, you want our "Life and Soul of the Party" tape
then, I think.
Tick: What's that?
Mr. Mann: Well it's sort of "'Ello squire, haven't seen you for a
bit, haven't seen you for a bit either, Beryl. Two pints of wallop
please, love. Still driving the Jensen then? Cheer up Jack it may
never happen. What's your poison then?'"
Tick: Fantastic, yes.
Mr. Mann: Right, I'll just see if we've got the tape.
96766,96772c98392,98397
the show is over, seven drinks - unless he's an M.P., in which case
he can have seven drinks before the show; or a bishop, only three
drinks in toto. The winners will receive an additional fee, a prize
which they can flog back, and a special fee for a guest appearance
on, "Late Night Lineup." Well, those are the rules, that's the
game. We'll be back again same time next week; 'til then, bye-bye!
96847a98473,98502
Voiceover: [BBC1 World symbol appears] Here is a preview of some of
the programmes you'll be able to see coming shortly on BBC
Television. To kick off with there's variety... [cut to still
picture of Peter West and Brian Johnston] Peter West and Brian
Johnston star in "Rain Stopped Play", a whacky new comedy series
about the gay exploits of two television cricket commentators [cut
to photo of E. W. Swanton] with E. W. Swanton as Aggie the kooky
Scots maid. For those of you who don't like variety, there's
variety, with Brian Close at the Talk of the Town. [cut to picture
of Brian Close in cricket whites on a stage] And of course there'll
be sport. The Classics series [cut to engraving of London and
caption: "The Classics"] return to BBC 2 with twenty-six episodes
of John Galsworthy's "Snooker My Way" [cut to composite photo of
Nyree Dawn Porter holding a snooker cue] with Nyree Dawn Porter
repeating her triumph as Joe Davis. And of course there'll be
sport. Comedy is not forgotten [cut to Caption: "Comedy"] with Jim
Laker [cut to photo of Laker] in "Thirteen Weeks of Off-spin
Bowling". Jim plays the zany bachelor bowler in a new series of
"Owzat", with Anneley Brummond-Haye on Mr Softee [cut to photo of
same] as his wife. And of course there'll be sport. "Panorama" will
be returning, introduced [cut to "Panorama" caption with photo of
Tony Jacklin] as usual by Tony Jacklin, and Lulu [cut to photo of
Lulu] will be tackling the Old Man of Hoy [cut to photo of same] .
And for those of you who prefer drama - there's sport. On "Show of
the Week" Kenneth Wostenholme sings. [cut to still of him,
superimposed over Flick Colby Dancers, Pans People, ono] And for
those of you who don't like television there's David Coleman. [cut
to picture of him smiling] And of course there'll be sport. But now
for something completely different - sport.
96879c98534
[A seductively dressed girl enters]
96929c98584
[The water barrel explodes]
96981c98636
[The door flies open and in come three Cardinals in red robes]
96991c98646
[They burst in again]
97048c98703
parents' house, and of your granny's bungalow - and we will, in
97058c98713
ever happened - and not the kind of people to be the center of one
97114,97117c98769,98772
Ximinez: Now, old lady - you have one last chance. Confess the
heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly - *two* last
chances. And you shall be free - *three* last chances. You have
three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my
97120c98775
Ximinez: Right! If that's the way you want it - Cardinal! Poke her
97230a98886,98905
Veronica Smalls: Hello, last week on "Party Hints" I showed you how
to make a small plate of goulash go round 26 people, how to get the
best out of your canapés, and how to unblock your loo. This week
I'm going to tell you what to do if there is an armed communist
uprising near your home when you're having a party. Well obviously
it'll depend how far you've got with your party when the signal for
Red Revolt is raised. If you're just having preliminary aperitifs -
Dubonnet, a sherry or a sparkling white wine - then the guests will
obviously be in a fairly formal mood and it will be difficult to
tell which are the communist agitators. So the thing to do is to
get some cloth and some bits of old paper, put it down on the
floor, and shoot everybody. This will deal with the Red Menace on
your own doorstep. If you're having canapés, as I showed you last
week, or an outdoor barbecue, then the thing to do is set fire to
all the houses in the street. This will stir up anti-communist
hatred and your neighbours will be right with you as you organize
counter-revolutionary terror. So you see, if you act promptly
enough, any left-wing uprising can be dealt with by the end of the
party. Bye!
99289a100965,101009
Ben: [after a passionate kiss with Susan] Oh my God.
Susan: What's the matter?
Ben: That molar. Upper right five.
Susan: What about it?
Ben: The cracked filling, you've had it repaired.
Ben: Any chance of that kidney dish before I retire?
Brigitte: You can have the kidney dish when you apologise.
Ben: [to patient] Have you met my part-time assistant? Funny thing is
I'm paying her full time. [to Brigitte] Alright, I'm very sorry I
said you have the memory of a retarded glove puppet.
Susan: You don't think I'm a control freak, do you?
Ben: No. More of a control... enthusiast.
Susan: Control freak? All I care about is the happiness of my
children.
Janey: Does that mean I can have a tattoo?
Susan: No.
Janey: Please? Dad?
Ben: Only if it says "Daddy's little sunbeam".
Nick: Has anyone noticed anything funny about that rabbit?
Ben: Yep. It's been here two days and hasn't asked me for money yet.
Susan: What's got you so worked up?
Ben: Michael. Michael. He called me a failed doctor.
Susan: That's nothing, he called me a control freak.
Ben: That's different, you are a control freak.
Susan: I AM NOT!
Ben: You stopped me going to medical school because you said becoming
a dentist was quicker and I'd get more money.
Ben: Where's the receipt for the new x-ray machine?
Susan: In the file marked receipts under the letter 'X'.
Ben: You've been tidying up again.
Susan: Oh thank you Susan for saving me so much time and trouble.
Ben: When I put things under the tortoise, I expect to find them
under the tortoise. Tidying up is just a way of controlling things,
isn't it.
Susan: If you had been a more organized person, maybe you could have
been a doctor by now.
Ben: If you'd have been five inches taller, blond, with long legs you
could have been a doctor's wife by now.
99871,99872c101591,101592
Crow T. Robot: [amused] How many monsters movies end with a janitor
scooping the monster into a garbage can.
99923c101643
Crow T. Robot: Not since the mudslide scene in "McClintock"...
99926c101646,101647
Crow T. Robot: Not since the chess-playing scene in "The Seventh
Seal"...
99929c101650
Crow T. Robot: What?
99985c101706
Crow T. Robot: You're starting to catch on, Kimosabe.
100129c101850
Crow T. Robot: The Hands of Fate.
100177,100178c101898,101899
[watching "The Wild World of Batwoman"]
Crow T. Robot: So, Mike, this is hell.
100200,100201c101921,101922
Crow T. Robot: I accuse you, Joel. Now, carefully, hand over the
hamburger sandwich.
100224c101945
Crow T. Robot: Here's the Sex Pistols.
100399c102120
Crow T. Robot: Because she got an arrow in her chest.
100579c102300,102301
Crow T. Robot: Do you realize a robot just sang a love song to a
turtle?
100589c102311
Crow T. Robot: A brain the size of a walnut.
100591c102313
Crow T. Robot: No, the director.
100682c102404,102406
Dr. Forrester: Accept the pain Frank! Accept the pain!
[a film shows people skiing]
100685c102409
Crow T. Robot: Huh?
100820,100821c102544,102545
Crow T. Robot: Trash talking wasn't very good yet. All you could say
was "ARRGHGHR."
100858,100859c102582,102583
Crow T. Robot: He's got a tree. He's got a tree. This isn't the
Godzilla we know.
100990,100991c102714,102715
[watching the grotesquely inhumane short "Catching Trouble"]
Crow T. Robot: Joel, do people do this on Earth?
101009c102733
Dr. Forrester: Frank, you just invented the rowboat.
101024c102748
Crow T. Robot: It's called "evil", kid.
101181a102906,102978
Dr. Forrester: I'll send him cheesy movies The worst I can find!
He'll have to sit and watch them all And I'll monitor his mind!
Dr. Forrester: As a scientist, I'm constantly working with materials
that threaten life on a global scale, and, sometimes, they spill.
Dr. Forrester: Booze really heals!
Dr. Forrester: Prepare yourselves for DEEEEEEEEEEP HUUUURRRTINGGGG!
Dr. Forrester: I'm the god, I'M THE GOD!
Mike Nelson: [the hero stops his bike in front of an airplane] Stop!
Or your propeller will grind me into hamburger!
Mike Nelson: [on Puma man] Wool over his eyes man!
Crow: Easily bamboozled man!
Tom Servo: Three steps behind man!
Vadinho: Dive into the nothingness
Tom Servo: Watch MTV?
Pearl Forrester: You're out of order.
Bobo: I'm not out of order. YOU'RE out of order. This court room is
out of order, the system is out of order, the candy machine in the
hallway is out of order!
Pearl Forrester: Today's film is Overdrawn at the memory bank,
starring the late Raul Julia. What he was doing in this piece of
s... urely entertaining film work, we'll never know.
Crow: [Reading the cast credits for 'Zombie Nightmare'] Wait a
minute, guys. Tia Carrere is in this movie. We may actually have to
pay attention.
Gypsy: [Last lines; Mike and the 'bots are watching TV in his
apartment] Sure will be nice to be able to watch a movie without
any stupid comments.
Mike Nelson: You bet. Let's see what's on.
Crow: [reading credits] Starring Forrest Tucker... uh. He must be the
guy who makes sure all of the trees have their shirts in.
Mike Nelson: Crow!
Pearl Forrester: Look, I found Frank's head while I was cleaning out
the closet.
Dr. Forrester: No, that's just an extra one he kept around.
Crow: [Watching an obviously gay character in a short] Liberace
*wishes* he was this gay.
Mike Nelson: [on a song and dance number in Mixed up zombies] They're
white people... done up as Africans. In white face.
Crow T. Robot: [when Torgo appears one bit of music keeps playing
over and over] Ahh, yes, the haunting Torgo theme.
Mike Nelson: [on the bad guys inability to kill the hero] Too bad
they set their phasers to miss.
Tom Servo: Why is he so impossible to hit? Why do they keep missing
the slow giant white thing?
Crow: You know Mike, this Ryder guy's like you.
Mike Nelson: Huh.
Crow: No seriously, take away his personality and attractiveness to
women and it's you.
Mike Nelson: Oh, thank you...
Mike Nelson: We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese.
General: War, is such a waste of life.
Tom Servo: You know, that line makes me stop and think... about how
much better a root canal would be then this movie!
101672a103470,103477
C.C.: Let go of me you old...
Niles: All right but I just... [C.C. walks out of the kitchen and
into the dining room - we here a blood curdling scream]... waxed
the floor.
Sylvia Fine: I'm having palpitations! QUICK! GET ME MY MEDICINE!
Fran: [running to the fridge and returning with chocolate syrup]
102338c104143
[At a costume party]
102344a104150,104151
Ned Dorsey: Sponges: taste damn spongy.
104831,104834c106638,106643
Luke: Shut up, queer.
Seth: [laughs] Well, at least I don't shave my chest.
Luke: What'd you say?
Marissa: Luke, come on.
Seth: I just said you look nice in a sweater vest. It was a
compliment.
104850c106659
Seth: Why don't you go back to Chino? I'm sure there are a bunch of
104852c106661
Summer: Chino? Eww?
104876,104878c106685,106689
Seth: Yeah, I am sorry, but Avril Lavigne doesn't count as punk.
Marissa: Oh yeah? Well, what about the Cramps? Stiff Little Fingers?
The Clash? Sex Pistols?
Seth: I listen to the same music as Marissa Cooper? I think I have to
kill myself.
104901,104904c106712
Summer: You just gotta get right back on that horse, Coop.
104906c106714,106715
Sandy: He's not a criminal mastermind. He's a kid that has noone and
nowhere to go.
104942c106751
Seth: Mom, on the other hand, Waspy McWasp.
104944c106753
Kirsten: I am not a Wasp!
105173,105174c106982,106983
class trip, to the Museum of Tolerance at the back of the bus.
Classy lady.
105179a106989,106994
Seth: [welcoming Ryan to the Cohen clan] Dude, you're a Cohen now.
Welcome to a world of insecurity and paralyzing self-doubt.
Seth: [welcoming Ryan to the Cohen clan] Dude, you're a Cohen now.
Welcome to a world of insecurity and paralyzing self-doubt.
105182a106998,107079
Seth: In fact, having you around to defend me, I've kinda gotten
soft. Without anybody picking on me, there's really been no need
for the Seth Cohen retaliatory zinger.
Kirsten: [on the phone with wedding planner] Colored lights, no way.
White lights only because colored lights remind my father of a
carnival. And he hates carnies.
Seth: [complimenting Sandy and Kirsten's parenting skills] Hey man,
they raised me, okay? Proof, pudding. Speaking of pudding, Mother,
do we have any tapioca on tap?
Julie: Why can't you be happy for me? I am.
Julie: [sniping at Jimmy and Hailey] Classy choice, Jimmy. Although
it's pretty obvious that you're with her because you can't be with
Kirsten. You know, in psychology, I think that's called
transference.
Sandy: It's ironic. Julie leaves Jimmy, marries you. Now he's worth
millions and now you're going to be broke.
Hailey Nichol: [to Julie] You see, Jeffrey here might be a stripper,
but honey, you're a whore.
Summer: [asking for the Cohens' room number at the Hard Rock Hotel]
The name is Cohen. C-O-H-E-N. I think that's how you spell it.
Seth: No. What about the Ryan and Seth go to Europe money, my man?
Get back in there. We could get Vespas.
Summer: He's kissing another girl! Yes, right in front of me on the
phone! I can't believe this! I have been crying actual tears over
that ass and he's kissing randoms!
Seth: [showing off his fake IDs to Marissa] Sievy Sebulsky of Menlo
Park. It's nice to meet you. Have you met my associate, Marty
Navis?
Seth: Summer's dad thinks sarcasm is a sign of weakness.
Luke: Welcome to the O.C., bitch. This is how it's done in Orange
County.
Seth: Wow, I'm sorry. I should really learn to knock... in case,
there's a threesome going on in the bathroom.
Seth: Why do they even need a fashion show? Every day's a fashion
show for these people.
Summer: [to Marissa about Luke] God, he loves you. He got into a
fight and burned down a house over you. That's hot.
Seth: Too complicated for banter about boats and Hanson?
Sandy: I'm Here.
Kirsten: We're going.
Sandy: But I put on a jacket.
Summer: Are you making fun of me?
Anna: Most of the time, Summer, you do my job for me.
Summer: Again... not tracking.
Marissa: Hey, we're lucky that guy even stopped for us.
Summer: Well, we'd be even luckier if Cole Trickle here hadn't driven
us off the road!
Seth: Who the hell is Cole Trickle?
Summer: Ugh, Tom Cruise? Days of Thunder?
Marissa: Hey guys, can we try to be positive here?
Seth: Yeah, okay, I am positive that this is Summer's fault.
Summer: I am positive that I am leaving this place with a rash.
Seth: Oh, so you're planning on making some extra money tonight?
Seth: I'm going 70 in a 65 zone.
Summer: 80 is the new 70.
Seth: What? Who talks like that?
Summer: Who gets passed by a van full of nuns? Oh wait, who? Cohen
does!
Seth: Well, they have God on their side okay, Summer? I'm not going
to beat Jesus.
107123a109021,109024
Trigger: When we was at school Del was the best at Chemistry. He used
to sell home-made fireworks. He even blew up the science lab once.
Denzil: Yes I remember. I was doing detention in there at the time.
107926a109828,109833
Hilda: Just how long are you gonna keep whining?
Gene Starwind: Hey, if I can't hit anything, I can't hit anything!
Hilda: You gonna just keep running away?
Gene Starwind: Just keep running away?
Gene Starwind: I'm not running.
108816a110724,110733
Laura Sinclair: [trying to seduce Nick after buying him chicken for
dinner] I didn't know what you preferred. Thighs or breasts?
Nicholas Hadley: [completely unaware] Wings.
Cashier: It appears your credit card has been cancelled.
Kate Russo: [angrily] Oh, that bastard!
Hobson Daughter: [in response to Laura and Christina entering the
room] This room is starting to smell! We'll wait down the hall.
111267a113185,113190
General Venjix: Your world is doomed!
Jindrax: It looks pretty creepy down there.
Toxica: Yeah. You go first.
[Jindrax shrieks as he falls into the Org tomb]
112395,112397d114317
112410,112411c114330,114331
independent - and independence - that's a privilege of the strong.
Tell me, Miss Parker, how strong are you?
112432c114352
the mental masturbation to someone else.
112447a114368,114381
Giuseppe: So full of anger!
Miss Parker: That's my religion.
Miss Parker: God forgives. I don't.
Jarod: Karma. Ain't it a bitch?
Jarod: Here you go. Breakfast.
Young Jarod: That isn't wheat grass and tomato juice.
Dr. Jason Earl: Jarod, why don't you tell the group what brought you
here?
Jarod: A large cop with bad breath.
113081a115016,115022
Ashton: Okay, when I'm at the urinal and I have my wang in my hand, I
don't want to shake your hand, or take a picture with you...
Ashton: I wonder why he calls himself the "rock"!
Ashton: I wish my last name was Wood. Ashton Rachael Wood.
113676a115618,115639
Carson Kressley: "Richard" is so formal. Why can't we say we're out
looking for Dick?
Carson Kressley: No more musical theater until you clean this room!
Jai Rodriguez: Hey look! It's a book about gay people! "The Rainbow
Goblins".
Carson Kressley: Confidence breeds success.
Jai Rodriguez: Look, I'm a domestic!
Carson Kressley: [spotting an unflattering shirt] Where did you get
this from?
John Bargeman: Umm... K-mart.
Carson Kressley: *gasp* Don't use that kind of language around me!
Ted Allen: Corn beef from Uruguay. Wow... Who knew?
Carson Kressley: [after catching sight of a shirt on the display
panel] Don't worry! Mommy's gonna get help!
114158c116121
Haruka Urashima: I wouldn't put it in such glowing terms. It's just
114192a116156,116157
Urashima Keitaro: It had three holes, and I really wanted one!
114798a116764,116768
Randy Barry: Don't call me an alcoholic because I'll snap and I'll
cry, and it'll make you feel like an asshole.
Brad Fiorenza: Don't cry, Randy.
Randy Barry: I'm not going to.
119194c121164
Molly Tilden: They're so cute. Which one do you want?
119341c121311
Leon Carp: You love me, right?
119344c121314
Leon Carp: That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
121083a123054,123056
Angelica: Only some of us stay beautiful unless you go and get
elastic perjury.
121717a123691,123695
Michael Stein: [Michael's first day of camp and his boxers have been
stolen and are hanging on the flag pole] Great. What do I do now?
Sponge Harris: Well, I suggest you stand tall, click your heels, and
salute your shorts.
122298a124277,124306
Old Lady #1: When my ex-husband passed away, the insurance company
said his policy didn't cover him.
Old Lady #2: They didn't have enough money for the funeral.
Old Lady #3: It's so hard nowadays, with all the gangs and rap music.
Old Lady #1: What about robots?
Old Lady #4: Oh, they're everywhere!
Old Lady #1: I don't even know why the scientists make them.
Old Lady #2: Darren and I have a policy with Old Glory Insurance, in
case we're attacked by robots.
Old Lady #1: An insurance policy with a robot plan? Certainly, I'm
too old.
Old Lady #2: Old Glory covers anyone over the age of 50 against robot
attack, regardless of current health.
Sam Waterston: I'm Sam Waterston, of the popular television series
"Law & Order". As a senior citizen, you're probably aware of the
threat robots pose. Robots are everywhere, and they eat old
people's medicine for fuel. Well, now there's a company that offers
coverage against the unfortunate event of a robot attack, with Old
Glory Insurance. Old Glory will cover you with no health check-up
or age consideration. You need to feel safe. And that's harder and
harder to do nowadays, because robots may strike at any time.
Sam Waterston: [A pie chart appears, reading "Cause of Death in
Persons Over 50 Years of Age": Heart Disease, 42% - Robots, 58% ]
And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break
free... because they're made of metal, and robots are strong. Now,
for only $4 a month, you can achieve peace of mind in a world full
of grime and robots, with Old Glory Insurance. So, don't cower
under your afghan any longer. Make a choice. Old Glory Insurance.
For when the metal ones decide to come for you - and they will.
122303,122304c124311,124312
Ben Affleck: Thank you! Thannk you, thank you! It's great to be back
here, this is my second time hosting "Saturday Night Live" - very
126263,126264c128271,128272
the starboard side - the Spanish Galleon!" -there's no comeback for
that!
126271a128280,128295
Cosmo Kramer: Is this oak?
Mr. Lager: Think it's pine.
Cosmo Kramer: Pine is good.
Mr. Lager: Yeah, pine's okay.
Mr. Lager: Well , we've discussed this, here's the feeling: You got a
greeting, starts with an H, how's twenty bucks sound?
Cosmo Kramer: I'll take it.
Mr. Lager: Awright, sir
George Costanza: You ask me to have lunch, tell me you slept with
Elaine, and then say you're not in the mood for details. Now you
listen to me: I want details and I want them right now. I don't
have a job, I have no place to go. You're not in the mood? Well you
get in the mood!
135011a137036,137058
Marge: [reading the back of a super glue tube] "In case of accidental
ingestion, consult a mortician."
Homer: Die, you monster!
Lisa: Dad! That's the water softener.
Homer: Well I *am* missing the back of my head. I think you could cut
me some slack!
Carl: You know, I was hexed by a troll once and a leprechaun cured
that right up.
Lenny: Hey, you know what's even better is Jesus. He's like six
leprechauns!
Carl: Yeah, but a lot harder to catch. Go with the leprechaun.
Kwik-E-Mart President: Welcome, my friends. You may ask any three
questions.
Homer: Are you really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?
Kwik-E-Mart President: Yes.
Homer: Really?
Kwik-E-Mart President: Yes.
Homer: Really?
Kwik-E-Mart President: Yes. Thank you, come again.
135493a137541,137544
# "Skin" (2003)
Larry Goldman: His father is the district attorney!
135812a137864,137870
[Kara and Clark are flying/drifting in the sky]
Clark: How are you doing this?
Kara: Your doing it too
Clark: I can't fly...
Kara: Not yet. This is just the beginning, Kal-El. You have no idea
how powerful you'll become.
135923c137981
Lionel Luthor: Lex... things would have been so different between us.
136449a138508,138519
Sonic: Sleet and Dingo are coming we gotta make tracks fast before
they get here.
Sleet: Too late hedgehogs!
Dingo: We're here!
Sonia: Thanks for the warning.
Sleet: What if it makes Dingo grow fast like a fulosa tree?
Dr. Ivo Robotnik: He is not a plant is he?
Sleet: No but he is smarter than one.
Sonic: I'm gone but not forgotten!
136561a138632,138643
Snively Robotnik: Big round guy finally let Sonic defeat him. Well
don't celebrate too soon hedgehog! Now it's my turn. [laughs] AND
I'M NOT ALONE!
Dr. Robotnik: [Dr. Robotnik grabs Sonic] Who are you?
Sonic: Someone that you are going to learn to hate, Robutnik!
Dr. Robotnik: I already hate you!
Sonic: I don't know how or when. But you're going to crash and burn
pal!
Dr. Robotnik: Oh my! I'm shaking in my boots.
137561a139644,139645
Angelo Garepe: Rusty, I think he bangs his wife in installments.
137965,137967c140049,140051
Gerald Brofloski: You see, Kyle, there are certain rules and laws
that tell us what we can and cannot say in the workplace, and what
we can and cannot do in the workplace.
137969c140053
Gerald Brofloski: No, 'cause we don't call it fascism.
138017c140101,140102
all don't like it I don't give a flying
[bleep]
138350c140435
Kenny: [muffled] Fuck you.
138412c140497
Randy Marsh: Yeah, you'd become what you hate.
138414c140499,140500
ni...
[credits roll]
138462a140549
138482c140569
Kenny: [muffled] A fucking machine?
138780,138781c140867,140868
Cartman: [singing] I love Cheesy Poofs / We love Cheesy Poofs / If we
all didn't love Cheesy Poofs / We'd be lame / I'm talking
141397a143485,143486
Chuck 'The Cut Man' Kimmel: This fighter's got remarkable skills,
Casey, he's not to be trifled wtih.
141606c143695
I'm going way out on a limb, but I think Jerry Falwell's a badass.
141661c143750
Casey McCall: Dan.
143165a145255,145268
[The Enterprise is set to auto destruct and time is running out]
Computer: Ten seconds to auto destruct.
Commander William T. Riker: [worried] Captain?
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Abort auto destruct sequence.
Computer: Riker, William T. do you concur?
Commander William T. Riker: Yes. Absolutely. I do indeed concur
wholeheartedly.
Computer: Auto destruct cancelled.
[everyone breathes a huge sigh of relief]
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: A simple "yes" would have sufficed number
one.
Commander William T. Riker: I didn't want there to be any chance of
misunderstanding.
143474a145578,145586
Q 2: Aunt Kathy, help!
Captain Janeway: Don't you "Aunt Kathy" me!
Q 2: Yell at me later!
Seven of Nine: [Examining the clothing the Doctor chose for her] I am
unfamilliar with how to wear such a garment. [goes to un-do her
zipper] Assist me.
The Doctor: [backing away slowly] I think you'll manage...
145935a148048,148053
Agent M: I am Agent M.
Mario Mario: I see.
Agent M: Not C. M!
Luigi: Oh.
Agent M: Not O! I'm M. Agent O is on vacation.
146239a148358,148365
# "Survivor: Marquesas" (2002)
Host: You'll notice that there's one empty seat. Paschal isn't here.
John, you want to fill them in on what happened?
Himself (24 Days, Rotu: Yes. Paschal was dehydrated and he passed
out, so he had to be evacuated for medical treatment. He was alert
and responsive but he was dehydrated.
146265,146267c148391,148393
Christy Smith: [to her tribemates] I have something that I need to
tell you guys. I'm deaf and I need you to speak slowly so I can
read your lips.
146274,146276c148400,148425
Christy Smith: Matthew is just getting really creepy. The way that he
just keeps sharpening that knife is really creepy to me.
Rob: Now with the two girls, its kinda like I'm hanging out with two
ex-girlfriends at the same time, that both hate me, and there's
like this whole weird vibe going on and they think I'm a jerk, but,
I'm sorry, I am a jerk. And you just didn't realize it for 31 days.
Jenna: I don't understand how you can lie to all these people on a
regular basis.
Rob: Did you ever think that I was lying to you?
Jenna: Well then that wouldn't surprise me. Then why wouldn't
everybody else think that you've lied to them?
Rob: I don't like JoAnna. She's always yelling about Jesus and how
Jesus loves Jaburu. I didn't know that Jesus had a vested interest
in Survivor.
Christy Smith: If you're a messenger of God, then don't you think
that you should be a little bit nicer to people?
# "Survivor: The Australian Outback" (2001)
Himself (Runner-up, 42 Days, Ogakor: Yeah I lied to Jerri but I'm not
going to lose any sleep over it. If "ifs and buts" were candy and
nuts we'd all have a merry Christmas.
146754a148904,148906
Don Karnage: Fire at will! [all the pirates shoot at Will] No, do not
fire at Will, he is my second in command. Fire at the Sea Duck!
146779c148931
[Mona opens Michael's door to find him in bed with Jon]
146824c148976
Mary Ann Singleton: [sarcastic] Oh, I like that. You make it sound
146828a148981,148989
[first lines]
Mary Ann's Mother: Hellooo?
Mary Ann Singleton: Mom, It's me.
Mary Ann's Mother: What's the matter did you miss your plane?
Mary Ann Singleton: No. I didn't
Mary Ann's Mother: You know darling we were just talking about you...
Mary Ann Singleton: Would you call Mr. Lassiter and say I won't be in
on Monday?
148198c150359
Eric: "Way to take initiative... "? What are you up to?
150193c152354
Dad Threatened To Put Up My Ass"... "Chapter One: His Foot".
151147a153309,153313
Mr. Wilkinson: [after the gang has stolen his mailbox] Bloody hell-
is that my mailbox?
Fez: [imitating Mr. Wilikinson] Bloody hell is that me mailbox?
[everyone laughs]
151439a153606,153617
Carlos: I would think people would covet me as a partner.
Kim: Covet?
Carlos: I know my stuff, I don't get in the way, I'm not above doing
some of the dirty work. I definitely know the medical, the
paperwork's not a problem. I'll drive if you want, I'll ride if you
want. I'm flexible, and flexible is what you want in a partner. You
remember that.
Kim: Oh yeah, not to mention sexist, self-absorb, juvenile...
Carlos: Juvenile?
Kim: Yeah, Joey's more mature than you.
Carlos: Don't even bring that up... You're a juvenile!
151943a154122,154140
Lt. Swersky: Where have you been?
Bosco: [escorting Daryl to lock-up] Pretty busy at the hospital,
Boss.
Lt. Swersky: Oh yeah? We got a couple of calls about a guy in green
pants and a vest, handcuffed, jogging down the street. You know
anything about that?
Bosco: All I can say is that's one hell of a coincidence.
Kim: How come we never get the overturned armored car jobs?
Doc: Because we're lucky.
Kim: Yeah, it would be hard not to accidentally let a few bucks fall
into our med bag.
Doc: That's why we're lucky.
[about Taylor]
Doc: She doesn't want to be on the bus.
Sully: Yeah, well I don't want to write up a six-car accident, but we
all have our crosses, right?
152182a154380,154389
Carlos: Are you complimenting me?
Doc: Hell, no!
Carlos: Right.
Yokas: We are ducking calls at 5:45, all right? 'Cause I got this
feeling it's gonna be one of those days. So no matter what happens
we are off the radio, all right? I don't care if the mayor
himself...
Bosco: Shhhh... You had me at ducking.
152324c154531,154532
Sully:
Yokas: No!
152401a154610,154617
[Doc gets Joy's number]
Carlos: I know nothing. You rule!
Bosco: What are you talking about? I wasn't listening.
Yokas: Of course not.
[after Bosco leaves]
Yokas: What was I thinking?
152805a155022,155040
[looking at the pedophile in the ambulance]
Carlos: I think I got that shirt.
Kim: I never really thought about it. Lieutenant Zambrano,
Lieutenant. Lieu.
Carlos: Ooh, I just got chicken skin.
Kim: Hey Lieu, got a minute?
Carlos: It's a strange coincidence, don't you think? The two [Doc and
Kim] of you get on the promotion list at the same time.
Kim: It's a test, Carlos. A civil service exam.
Carlos: Yeah, but I mean, you know, what were you doing, having
secret study groups or something? You could have at least told me
about it.
Kim: You're certifiable, you know that?
Carlos: Oh, that means a lot coming from you, Lieu.
Kim: Oh shut-up.
Carlos: Yes sir.
Kim: What the hell is chicken skin?
152927a155163,155594
Mary Proctor: What's your name?
Phil: Tom.
Jimmy: His name's Phil.
Mary Proctor: Trauma Four.
Phil: My name's Phil?
Jimmy: That's what your wife said.
Phil: I have a wife?
Bosco: How many damn people did I bring in?
Cop: I think you locked up half the precinct.
Sully: Go take care of your floater.
Madjanski: You didn't touch anything, did you?
Sully: I took all the dough out of his wallet and I'm wearing his
shoes. Is that a problem?
[to Miguel]
Bosco: [smirks] Something tells me I'm going to be seeing you again.
Yokas: I was 14, I fought with my mother. But I never wished she was
dead.
Bosco: Maybe you're overreacting.
Yokas: Yeah, well she better cool it or I'm gonna overreact my foot
up her rump.
Yokas: [directing traffic] We're like big blue targets out here.
Bosco: This sucks!
Woman: You're a paramedic and a fireman?
Taylor: Yeah. It gets confusing sometimes.
Woman: That's amazing. I can't even balance a checkbook.
Taylor: Yeah? Neither can I.
Bosco: [Fred talks to Jesus] If he's ever talking to him again,
there's a few things I'd like to ask for. Is it okay if I put in a
word?
Yokas: No.
Bosco: I gave it a shot.
[about a dead woman]
Carlos: I called her a "pain in the ass".
Doc: Well, she was a pain in the ass.
[after being hit by a car]
Taylor: I'm glad you weren't there or you could've gotten hit too.
Kim: Eh. I would have looked both ways.
[leaving the hospital]
Fred: I can't believe how good I feel.
Yokas: I can't believe how much crap you've accumulated.
Fred: I'm a very popular guy.
Bosco: This the bozo with the Cadillac?
Man: Officer finally... I wanna file a complaint.
Bosco: Thats what I'm here for.
[Doc and Carlos put tape across the mans eyebrows]
Man: Is that necessary? On my eyebrows?
Doc: In this case, yes it is sir.
[Bosco and Carlos step aside]
Bosco: What happened to him?
Carlos: Rectal Cranial Inversion.
Bosco: Excuse me?
Carlos: He's got his head up his ass. He wants to go to the ER so he
can file a claim.
Bosco: So cut him loose.
Carlos: We can't. We are obligated to take anyone that wants to go
in. We'll talk to the doctors at the ER and make sure his injuries
get treated in the time that they deserve. Then he waits in as much
comfort as we can arrange.
Bosco: Paramedic street justice, who knew?
Carlos: I hope he peed recently. It's going to be a long day.
Doc: More tape?
Carlos: [throws a roll] Here you go.
Bosco: [throws a roll] Hey take another one.
Doc: You know this day is going to be remembered? Alex died... and I
got a promotion
[to Emily about Faith]
Fred: And here we sit with our televisions and our DVDs and our CD
players and our cell phones and our clothes and our food. Yeah...
can't believe she'd do that to us.
Bosco: Fat-free half-and-half. Isn't that just milk?
Jimmy: Truth comes out... Everyone wants to be a fireman.
Cruz: Did you ask him about his Johnson?
Bosco: I asked him about his little tiny Johnson. I should have
ripped it off him, too.
Cruz: I'd hate to have to handle that complaint. I guess it'd, uh, be
theft.
Bosco: Petty larceny.
Yokas: If it was up to me, my kids would never cry. They'd never be
embarrassed or humiliated or disappointed. They'd never get hurt.
That's how much you love them. You want to put them in a bubble for
safekeeping. Some place where there's no psychos, there's no drugs,
and there's no danger.
Bosco: No life.
Yokas: I didn't say it was rational.
Cruz: Sorry to interrupt kindergarten, but I need, um, Boscorelli.
Lt. Swersky: For the whole tour?
Cruz: I'll get him back when I can.
Bosco: Duty calls, boys. Think of me fondly with every parking ticket
you issue.
[gives Bosco his uniform]
Carlos: Jeez, it's freezing.
Davis: Well, you're in your underwear, Carlos.
Bosco: It's for a good cause.
Carlos: Thank God I wore underwear today.
Bosco: Okay... How do I look?
Davis: I wouldn't let you work on me.
[pretending to be a paramedic]
Bosco: She's gonna need a plastic mask and an I.V. Probably what, a
standard eight?
[to a shooting victim]
Bosco: Your real name is Wiggy?
Kim: Oh, great. I'm working overtime for a guy named Wiggy.
Bosco: How are you, Diane?
ADA Dianne Mann: I haven't gotten laid since the 90s.
[to Bosco]
Cruz: Yeah, thinking seems to be where you run into problems.
Yokas: Now, I think you're both relatively safe, 'cause you're both
handcuffed.
Truck Driver: She could bite me!
[to the hospital staff]
Yokas: Don't let her bite him.
[about Bosco]
Miguel White: I thought you had to be smart to be a cop.
Cruz: There's an exception to every rule.
Bosco: I thought I knew what I was doing out here, but I guess I
don't.
Cruz: Smartest thing I heard you say.
Nancy: You're not like the rest of the cops.
Davis: Why? 'Cause I read a book?
Nancy: Because you still haven't stopped believing that the good guys
always win and the bad guys always lose. It's sweet. Really.
[arresting Vernon]
Bosco: Look at 'em Vernon. Look at 'em. They're all out here to watch
you fall. And they can't wait for you to be gone. Forever. You hear
me? For good. You'll be forgotten in a week, because of one little
boy. One little boy who had the stones to stand up to you. He's
twice the man you'll ever be.
Carlos: My first day I was a half an hour early.
Kim: Yeah, and the fire guys made you stand right over there for the
30 minutes until we got here.
Carlos: [points in opposite direction] No, no. It was more like over
there.
Carlos: Where were these girls when I was in high school?
Kim: In kindergarten. Remember that.
Mrs. Winston: [about Daryl] He probably has a bump on his head.
Bosco: Oh, wait until I get a hold of him.
Bosco: [to Yvette] So, first day, huh?
Daryl: No, actually I've been arrested a couple of times before.
Bosco: Shut-up! [To Yvette] As you can see you're gonna be surrounded
by intelligence.
Yokas: Fred and I have been getting along really well lately.
Bosco: Stop!
Yokas: Bosco, when it rains it pours. And it is raining in the Yokas
boudoir, hard.
Bosco: Why do you have to do that?
Yokas: What?
Bosco: I just asked you a simple question, you gotta fill my head
with visuals!
Yokas: And women are uptight about sex?
Bosco: [holding up a lamp] This doesn't match anything in my place.
Yokas: So how you doing, I mean, you know, in general?
Claire Henley: Fine. I'm doing fine.
Bosco: And yet it's raining floor lamps outside your apartment.
Yokas: Well, not having one of them [penis] keeps you from having to
prove how big it is all the time.
Bosco: I know you're not talking about me specifically.
Yokas: Right.
Kim: You're delusional Carlos. You can't even pass a woman without
making some juvenile creepy comment. If you "accidentally" ever
touched any part of my body, I'd want to be boiled.
Bosco: [about Claire] So come on, how good of friends were you? Were
you like, you know, real close? Or Real close?
Yokas: Oh please Bosco. Grow up!
[to Davis and Carlos]
Sully: You two make a hell of a team. Maybe they'll let you share a
cell.
Carlos: [to Davis] I'm sorry I took so long to get ready, but I had a
difficult time picking out which long johns go with mopping a
firehouse.
Sully: Most snow falls at 15 degrees Fahrenheit or greater. The air
holds more water vapor at higher temperatures.
Bosco: Thank you, Al Roker.
[looking for fingers in the snow]
Kim: Hey, I got one!
Man: She gonna find them all?
Taylor: She won't stop looking till she does.
Yokas: He said that is was okay that he was speeding in a blinding
snowstorm because he had his hazardous lights on.
Bosco: Makes sense to me. You think if he was high he's have on his
high beams?
[to Cruz]
Bosco: How could they have known we were coming? We were being so
inconspicuous and all.
[Flashback; Bosco and Yokas's first encounter]
Bosco: Mother?
Yokas: Excuse me?
Bosco: You look like a mother.
Yokas: Yeah, actually I have two ki...
[Bosco walks away]
Yokas: You look like an ass.
[Flashback]
Bosco: I've been watching you.
Yokas: Really? I'm flattered. But I'm married.
[Flashback; About Faith's shooting skills]
Bosco: Come on. You'd have a better chance if they let you throw the
gun at it and count it as six if you hit it.
Yokas: You're still smirking.
Bosco: I am?
Yokas: Yeah, it's your getting some smirk.
[about Bosco]
Davis: What's with him?
Yokas: I don't know. He's got this new girlfriend. I think it's
starting to melt his brain.
[to Joy]
Doc: With my luck I'll meet your mom and realize I dated her in high
school.
[about Cruz]
Yokas: She's a regular fount of wisdom.
Bosco: Fount?
Yokas: Don't you think you made a pretty quick decision?
Cruz: Are you questioning that, officer?
Yokas: Yeah, I guess I am.
DK: Can this day get anymore exciting?
[a car crashes into a building]
Jimmy: Apparently it can.
Carlos: Drive-thru plumbing supply store. I don't know if that idea's
gonna catch on.
Jimmy: If that guy's not loaded, that's one hell of a lousy parking
job.
Taylor: They said he's impaled right?
Kim: Yeah, impaled.
Taylor: I hate that.
Kim: We're gonna need some extra bulky dressing.
Taylor: And a barf bag.
[to Emily]
Yokas: What are you complaining about? I'm the one stuck out here in
Rocky Horror land.
Davis: I got the wind knocked out of me, that's all.
Kim: Falling four flights will do that to you, superboy.
Bosco: You hungry?
[Sully vomits]
Bosco: I'll take that as a no!
Bosco: I got a whole family full of yous. Can't cope with life so
they hide behind the bottle.
Sully: But not you?
Bosco: I guess I'm the black sheep.
Davis: Idle minds right? Devil's playground.
Sully: I thought that was idle hands.
Davis: How can a hand be a playground?
Sully: And isn't it workshop?
Davis: Is it?
Sully: I don't know, you said it.
[after a car accident]
Kim: How's your breathing?
Aaron Noble: Pretty good, pretty good, yours?
Kim: You lose consciousness at all?
Aaron Noble: Well, once in the 60s. But, ah well, it was the 60s.
Kim: Why would you leave if you were hurt?
Aaron Noble: I don't know. I get frequent bleeder miles at another
hospital.
[with a hand full of money]
Lt. Johnson: Sullivan, what do you want me to do with this?
Sully: What am I, a teller?
[questioning Noble about the stabbing]
Davis: And that is the black guy with the baseball cap?
Aaron Noble: Yeah.
Sully: That narrows it down for us. I wonder what Derek Jeter was
doing.
Davis: Yankees are on the road.
Aaron Noble: Mets are still in town.
[to Kim]
Aaron Noble: Today was the most fun I've ever had on a stretcher. And
believe me, I've been on more than a few.
Bosco: I'm through justifying myself to you.
Yokas: And I'm through carrying around a three-year old.
Bosco: Right, I'm one of your kids.
Yokas: No, you couldn't be one of my kids. My kids are mature.
Bosco: No, I couldn't be one of your kids because I actually see you.
Kim: All right, we gotta go to SoHo.
Carlos: Do I look like a cabbie?
Aaron Noble: I was doing research, for a book.
Bosco: Oh my gosh. You know what? Please accept our apologies. Sarge!
Sarge stop searching the car. He was only doing research for a
book.
Cruz: Oh, didn't somebody already write Dumb and Dumber?
Aaron Noble: It was research.
Bosco: Yeah? Well, now you can research how to be someone's bitch.
Aaron Noble: I got my first amendment rights.
Cruz: Try using the fifth.
Old Man: If you'll snuggle with me I'll feel better.
Kim: Well, thanks, but it's kind of serious.
Old Man: So who's the lucky fella.
Carlos: He's a writer. He's your age. You might have a chance.
[to Willie]
Bosco: Do you need me to kick that chair out from under you again?
Willie G: I want my lawyer.
Bosco: You want your mommy.
Kim: By the way thanks for standing up for me back there... By saying
that I looked good.
Carlos: You ran me off for it!
Kim: Still... That was perfect.
Carlos: That was pretty good, wasn't it?
[about Willie]
Bosco: Destroying city property, littering, riding without a helmet.
It's a one-man crime wave.
Carlos: You realize I'm not arguing with you?
Kim: Well, what would you do?
Carlos: You're asking me? My opinion?
Kim: Just this once.
Lt. Johnson: Attention ladies!
Taylor: Easy boss, these are no ladies.
Lt. Johnson: My apologies to you actual ladies.
Doc: I hate phones, and I hate desks, and I hate paperwork. And I
really hate those little carpeted cubicles. AND my trainee is late!
[about subing as a medic]
Taylor: Why is it always me?
Walsh: 'Cause you're the one with the delicate touch little lady.
Taylor: It's always the same. Guys don't like having women in the
department so they find excuses to put us in these girlie-ass jobs.
Doc: Girlie? Do I look girlie to you?
[trying to put out a car fire]
Walsh: Can't open the hood?
Firefighter: Can't get a hold of the damn latch.
Walsh: And you're supposed to help me change my oil this weekend?
Taylor: I don't really like riding on the ambulance anymore.
Old Man: If you don't mind, we're glad you are.
Taylor: Don't tell anyone, but right now I am too.
Yokas: Why me, Bosco? Why is it always me?
Bosco: Because you're the only one Faith... I don't have anyone else.
Aaron Noble: You know what Injera is?
Bosco: No.
Aaron Noble: It's Ethiopian bread. Kind of like a pancake, but sour.
Bosco: You think that's what's wrong with this cheeseburger?
Aaron Noble: That is how I work, I immerse myself in the culture.
Bosco: Let me get this straight... Are you telling me that you do
crank professionally?
Bosco: I am so hot tonight. I'm even amazing myself.
Bobby: Treva.
Kim: What kind of name is that?
Bobby: What? It's worse than Kim?
Kim: What's wrong with Kim?
Bobby: It's just Kim. It doesn't mean anything.
Kim: Yes it does. It's like a saint or something.
Bobby: Saint Kimberly? In what religion?
Bosco: I'm starting to change my mind about the Himalayas. I think it
would be a pretty good place to go. No pollution, no BS with the
legal system. Just ice and mountains. The South Pole...
Yokas: The South Pole?
Bosco: What?
Yokas: Nothing.
Bosco: It's probably only nice until you get used to the place. After
that I'm sure you run into some crackhead Eskimo using kids or
something.
Yokas: Eskimos? In the Himalayas?
153758a156426,156430
The Tick: Owwwww! My head feels like it's... like it's gunna have a
baby.
Arthur: It's called a headache.
The Tick: It has a name?
154483a157156,157157
Creegan: G-man by day, G-string by night.
154892a157567,157571
Sara: Ricky, can you tell me why there's a mountain lion trying to
bang one of my boyfriends?
Ricky: Lucy, I'll be a better father than you'll ever be
154936c157615
Tracks: Keep San Francisco clean - leave!
154939c157618
galaxy - okay, give me the bomb.
154982c157661
Skuxxoid: The who? Oh - I mean yes, of course! The Decepticons...
155030c157709
Ironhide: What did you do to Gears? You turned him - nice!
155048a157728,157745
Ironhide: Stop talkin', tighten your shock absorbers and get in.
We're gonna make a new river.
Galvatron: Oh yes. You are *loyal* allies. *SO LONG AS IT SUITS YOUR
PURPOSES*! [blasts screen] Fortunately, your purposes coincide with
mine... for the moment.
Galvatron: Predacons, merge to become Predaking! [Predacons transform
into Predaking] Predaking, I command you to destroy those
scavenging invaders.
Sludge: [Dinobots are engaging in battle with the Constructicons]
Sludge no see these Decepticons before.
Snarl: We no see again either. Because we dino-mite them to pieces!
Slag: Dinobots no fool around!
Grimlock: Right! Dinobots, transform! [Dinobots transform into
dinosaur mode]
158177c160874
Carver: Maybe you can use it to find your way BACK TO REALITY!
158197a160895,160908
[Tino is upset because he didn't win a mock election]
Tino: I'm just a fat, ugly, loser.
Lor McQuarrie: You're not fat!
Girl Dressed As Scissors: Pointy, pointy.
Dixon: : [Playing ball] Try to keep your eye on the ball this time,
it won't bite.
Tino: It's not so much biting I'm worried about as bone-shattering
impact.
Tino's Mom: [Tino refuses to leave his room] He said he won't come
out until the city's been cleared of its un-holy clown infestation.
160175a162887,162890
C.J. Cregg: They called her an elitist femininst
Bruno Gianelli: Elitist feminist? You can't do that to the English
Language.
160505a163221,163223
Paul Merton: This is no ordinary fruitcake. This is the Fruitcake of
Doom!
160695,160697c163413,163415
Ryan Stiles: We have 53 songs on one CD and it's this big.
[Spreads hands apart]
Ryan Stiles: And it's made of chocolate. I had a few drinks tonight
160704c163422
Colin Mochrie: Oh... Tapioca!
160706c163424
Colin Mochrie: Wasn't that one of his songs? TAPIOCA TAPIOCA!
160710c163428
Colin Mochrie: I'm thinking Mexico because I... like it there.
160714,160715c163432,163433
Colin Mochrie: Animal friends are just there to be animal friends, if
they can't handle being a carpet.
160717c163435
Colin Mochrie: I may have said too much.
160719,160720c163437,163438
Colin Mochrie: I believe it was Shakespeare who said, "All the
world's a stage, and you're crap!"
160748c163466
Drew Carey: "Names that will get your child's ass kicked."
160757a163476,163483
Colin Mochrie: We're gonna have to blow it.
Ryan Stiles: Blow the door? Are you out of your mind?
Colin Mochrie: No, I mean blow it up.
Drew Carey: [giving hints to Greg that the answer for Colin's "party
quirk" includes gravity] What holds you to the Earth?
Greg Proops: Why, my love for you, Drew.
165191c167917
Karen: Tupperware is not an eating vessel.
165246a167973,168008
Sharon: I am a lesbian. The reason I'm not attracted to you is
because your genitals are on the outside.
Jaye: If you want slap him, I'll totally look the other way.
Bianca: You have really managed to create a stressless
expectation-free one for yourself.
Jaye: Wow. I'm like a genius.
Jaye: So, are we almost done? 'Cause surprisingly, I'm getting tired
of talking about myself.
Bianca: You've shown me a new way. I can live in a pressureless,
expectation-free zone.
Jaye: That's my zone! You're parked in my zone!
Bianca: And it's the only place I'll ever be able to breath.
Jaye: You didn't stutter at all when you were gettin' me to sing, you
planned this! You suck!
Bianca: You suck!
Bianca, Jaye: [together] You suck!
Bianca: Whatever!
Jaye: Whatever!
Bianca, Jaye: [together] Whatever!
Jaye: [about Bianca] She's an investigative journalist!
Karen: Oh, marvelous! Who do you write for?
Aaron Tyler: What's she investigating?
Jaye: Me! She's investigating me!
Sharon Tyler: Is it a criminal investigation?
Jaye: She's writing an article about my life, so the whole world can
see what a loser I'm not! FIVE THOUSAND WORDS ABOUT ME!
Jaye: The prose probably aren't as lovely and crisp, but I finally
figured out my fifteen words... hope it's okay: "Daughter Jaye
lives in Niagara Falls. Her blurb and life are a work in progress."
166609a169372,169374
Avalanche: [to Cyclops and Jean Grey] Don't worry, that's the last of
the heroics. Count on it.
167296c170061
Jim Hacker: Perhaps I can have a précis of that?
167393a170159,170164
Jim Hacker: But me no buts, Bernard. Shakespeare.
Bernard Woolley: Oh no Prime Minister. But me no buts is circa 1820.
Mrs Centlivre used it but it wasn't until later when it appeared in
the Antipr... sorry.
Jim Hacker: Shall we keep to the point please Bernard?
167820a170592,170609
Neil: That's funny. I don't remember ramming a skewer into my head.
Policeman 1: I reckon I could have slept with her, if it wasn't for
something I said. But we had a row and, uh... I said something
about the Pope.
Policeman 2: That's a bit stupid, you know she's Catholic.
Policeman 1: Yeah, I know she's Catholic, but I didn't know the Pope
was.
Policeman 2: Still, it's a laugh, isn't it?
Policeman 1: What is?
Policeman 2: That noise you make in the back of your throat when you
hear a joke.
Policeman 1: Yeah, that's a laugh, yeah.
[the camera zooms in dramatically on a matchbox]
Matchbox: Don't look at me. I'm irrelevant!
168215c171004
said about getting excited. You'll cock the pistol and have a fit!
168222,168224c171011,171013
Thelma: People don't kill themselves, Jessie. It's doesn't make sense
unless you're retarded or deranged, and you're as normal as they
come, Jessie, for the most part. We're all afraid to die.
168226,168227c171015,171016
Thelma: So's the backyard, Jessie.
Jessie: So quiet, I don't know it's quiet, so nobody can get me.
169306c172095
Patch: Do you think I'm one of a kind... or just... one of a hundred
169309c172098
Thunderbolt: [whispers] Lightning. [loudly] Do not mourn me when I am
169311a172101,172103
Lars: Oh, fickle bird of inspiration! To what far shore have you
flown?
169607a172400,172401
Jenna: Can you tell I'm wearing underwear? 'Cause I totally am.
170097a172892,172895
Lewis Morris: New York abstains, courteously.
Charles Thomson: [recording vote] New York abstains.
Lewis Morris: Courteously.
171299c174097
Gerhardt: [shouts] Oh my God! Look at my package!
171451a174250,174253
Jim: Oh, great valium.
Jim: Not only will we be able to go to sleep, if we get attacked in
the middle of the night, we won't even care.
171664a174467,174470
Jeffrey 'Colt' Douglas: What are you gonna do, talk us to death?
Tum Tum: Scramble!
171696a174503,174518
Jo: We go and get him out.
Tum Tum: We. As in you and us?
Jo: Yes. You guys and the girl.
Colt: Wait a minute.
Rocky: Colt, I think it's okay.
Colt: Okay. but we'll have to do it tonight, cause they're going to
start the hearing tomorrow.
Rocky: Tonight, then,
Colt: Tonight.
Tum Tum: Tonight?
Jo: Tonight.
# 3 Women (1977)
Pinky Rose: You're the most perfect person I ever met.
171717c174539
Murphy: Not until you get the safe open. [Smiles] Now that was a
173323c176145
Philip Emmenthal: Looking at my father's prick; I think that's what
173342c176164
Beryl: I have one important responsibility I cannot relinquish... I
173348,173351c176170,176173
Beryl: Hortense is far too dignified to be ridden. However, Hortense
and I have a relationship, which you might find unusual, beyond
mere affection. I have no intentions of breaking this relationship.
Neither does Hortense.
173355a176178,176203
Philip Emmenthal: You aren't... gay, are you?
Storey Emmenthal: No... well, I love my own cock well enough, but
I've never had enough enthusiasm for anyone else's. [referring to
the house] I thought you had this re-decorated?
Philip Emmenthal: It was your mother's idea... but don't change the
subject. How come you haven't got plans to marry?
Storey Emmenthal: Perhaps because I'm much in love with my prick to
share it permanently. And that's probably your fault.
Philip Emmenthal: My fault?
Storey Emmenthal: Since I was eight years old, you put that big
mirror on my wardrobe's door; and I wanted to be double jointed so
I could kiss my cock goodnight before I went to sleep.
Philip Emmenthal: All this narcissism is rather boring, isn't it?
Find yourself a woman. Get someone else to kiss your cock for you.
Storey Emmenthal: Let's go to a hotel.
Philip Emmenthal: No... it's to far away from her and she might want
me...
Storey Emmenthal: How is that possible?
Philip Emmenthal: I might want her... you've never slept with a
corpse, I take it. [singing] I'd like to get you on a slow boat to
China...
Storey Emmenthal, Philip Emmenthal: All to myself... alone... Get you
and keep you... in my arms evermore... leaving all your lovers
weeping on a far away shore.
176089a178938,178957
Baron Munchausen: The Sultan is going to cut off my head.
Rupert: [puzzled] And?
Baron Munchausen: "And?"!
Baron Munchausen: Trust me, Madam, your underwear is in good hands.
[Vulcan seethes with jealousy as the Baron escorts his wife, Venus,
to the ballroom]
Vulcan: They've gone to the ballroom. Come see... the ballroom.
[still fuming as they enter] NICE, ISN'T IT?
# Adventures of Barry McKenzie, The (1972)
Barry McKenzie: Now listen mate, I need to splash the boots. You
know, strain the potatoes. Water the horses. You know, go where the
big knobs hang out. Shake hands with the wife's best friend? Drain
the dragon? Siphon the python? Ring the rattlesnake? You know,
unbutton the mutton? Like, point Percy at the porcelain?
Blanche: I think he wants to go to the loo.
179122c181990
Davy Crockett: Seems like the better part of valor.
179173a182042,182044
William Travis: One crowded hour of glorious life is worth more than
an age without a name.
179687a182559,182579
# Alice (1990)
[Alice tells off her unfaithful husband, Doug]
Alice: I've done things I didn't know I had in me.
[explaining what the Professor means when he tells Alice she's
'deep']
Muse: Very deep is exactly where he wants to put it.
Alice's Mother: When it came to me and your dad, you had stars in
your eyes.
Dr. Yang: Love is a very complex emotion. No rational thought... much
romance, but much suffering.
[trying to tell Alice what he likes about her]
Doug: You have a nice personality and you know sweaters.
[explaining to Alice why he wants to have an affair with her]
Joe: There's nothing sexier than a lapsed Catholic.
181514a184407,184441
# All the King's Men (1949)
Willie Stark: I don't need money. People gives me things because they
believe in me.
[Madison sends Burden to the backwaters of the state to learn about
political upstart Willie Stark]
Jack Burden: What's so special about him?
Madison, the Editor: They say he's an honest man.
Willie Stark: Now, shut up! Shut up, all of you! Now listen to me,
you hicks. Yeah, you're hicks too, and they fooled you a thousand
times like they fooled me. But this time, I'm going to fool
somebody. I'm going to stay in this race. I'm on my own and I'm out
for blood.
[to Willie Stark]
Jack Burden: You throw money around like it was money.
[to his fellow 'hicks' after surviving an impeachment trial in the
state senate]
Willie Stark: They tried to ruin me, but they are ruined. They tried
to ruin me because they didn't like what I have done. Do you like
what I've done?
Willie Stark: Jack, there's something on everybody. Man is conceived
in sin and born in corruption.
Willie Stark: I'm going to run. You can't stop me. I'm going to run
even if I don't get a single vote!
[after being shot]
Willie Stark: I could have had the whole world. Why did he do it to
me? Why?
182120,182121c185047,185048
Jeff Bebe: It's okay! I'm easy to forget! Just leave me behind! I'm
only the fucking lead singer!
182322c185249
father. But justice does not vary with the time of day. Your father
182332c185259
homestead to my daughter... '
184088a187016,187019
# American Drive-In (1985)
Mike: You pooed on me and I like it!
185028,185030d187958
185051c187979
[talking to a picture of Stifler's Mom ]
185130c188058
Sherman: Nadia, you've been targeted for Shermination. Come with me
185133,185139c188061,188081
[Stifler's brother shows off two girls he picked up]
Stifler: Brilliant. You found Lesbians.
[scoffs]
Stifler: Good luck trying to break through that force field.
Danielle: Lesbians?
Amber: We never said that.
Stifler: What?
Amber: We never said that.
Stifler: Oh... Oh, man. I will do anything... ANYTHING to sleep with
you, chicks, okay? I'll grab every guy's ass in this room. I'll
caress it even. I'll even shave some ass if they need it!
[sounds of revulsion from young men at party]
Stifler: Oh, yeah! You heard me! I will kiss everybody here! Dudes,
chicks, everybody! Because I am comfortable with my sexuality!
[Jim's Dad sees Jim looking at pictures of Nadia]
Jim's Dad: Ah, yes. The one that got away.
Jim: Yeah.
Jim's Dad: Yeah. Well, evidently you two made quite the handsome
couple on the Internet... Oh, I didn't see it. It, uh, was brought
up at a P.T.A. meeting.
185201,185203d188142
185220a188160
Finch: You touch me, I bite.
185223,185224c188163,188164
Stifler: [on walky-talky] I'm touchin' his ass, I'm touchin' his ass,
I'm touchin his ass, I'm touchin' his ass...
187546c190486
George Knox: There's a thing, called talent, THEY DON'T HAVE IT!
187558c190498
up! You'll never pitch again!
187575c190515
[The players are touching a post as they walk into the locker room]
187600c190540
WILDER!
187611a190552,190567
Hank Murphy: Are you feeling better today?
George Knox: Why would I be feeling better?
Hank Murphy: Commissioner's fined you $5,000 for you jumping Gates.
And word has it Ranch is pressing civil charges for you popping
him.
George Knox: You know I have felt better since I slugged Wilder.
Hank Murphy: Your pistol's smoking pal.
George Knox: I hadn't made the connection.
Hank Murphy: I know you two have been at each others throats for a
while.
George Knox: We've been at each others throats since he spiked my
knee and ruined my career.
Hank Murphy: Accidents happen George.
George Knox: No, It's not an accident. When you slide into a catcher
with your nails up, it's on purpose.
187757a190714,190716
Dr. Buddy Rydell: [while taking a shower] Salagadoola mechicka boola
bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!
187959a190919,190922
Capt. Spaulding: Play that song about the Irish chiropodist.
Signor Ravelli: Irish chiropodist?
Capt. Spaulding: "My Fate Is In Your Hands".
188280,188290c191243,191254
[in the supermarket vegetable section]
Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Mine's bigger.
Marion Wormer: [looks questioningly at him]
Eric 'Otter' Stratton: My cucumber. It's bigger.
Eric 'Otter' Stratton: I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't
you?
Marion Wormer: No, vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous.
Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Right. Sensual. That's what I meant. My name's
Eric Stratton. People call me Otter.
Marion Wormer: My name's Marion. People call me Mrs. Wormer.
Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Oh, we have a Dean Wormer at Faber.
Marion Wormer: How interesting. I have a husband named Dean Wormer at
188424a191389,191393
# Anjaam (1994)
Shivani: Tu samne jab ahta hai, dil dhak se dhadak jata hai... When
you come near, my heart starts beating faster...
189881c192850
# Anus Magillicutty (2003)
190452,190454d193420
190485c193451
was 8,042,783. If you laid all these people end to end, figuring an
190489,190494c193455,193459
Consolidated Life of New York. We're one of the top five companies
in the country. Our home office has 31,259 employees, which is more
than the entire population of uhh... Natchez, Mississippi. I work
on the 19th floor. Ordinary Policy Department, Premium Accounting
Division, Section W, desk number 861.
190501,190503c193466,193468
C.C. Baxter: Ya know, I used to live like Robinson Crusoe. I mean
shipwrecked among 8 million people. And then one day I saw a
footprint in the sand and there you were.
191454a194420,194425
# Arabian Knight (1995)
The Thief: [as Tack, asleep, sews parts of the Thief's cloak
together] He's stitchin' me up like a boot! Sorry kid, this boot
was made for walkin'.
194018a196990,197009
Jim Richardson: Nobody is closer to power then the press secretary
for the president. But it is never fully yours, it's dangling in
front of you. Mocking your very existence. I WILL NOT BE MOCKED ANY
LONGER!
Ted Swan: But he wants us to do that, AND make this appear to be a
blessing in disguise? Now that's a challenge.
Jim Richardson: The President does tend to expect the impossible...
Ted Swan: You're not listening to me Richardson. I said it would be a
CHALLENGE. Man was put on this earth to face challenges my boy.
Jim Richardson: You can do it?
The President: Take air force one.
Jim Richardson: Sir, Air Force one is broken
The President: Broken?
Jim Richardson: Yes sir.
The President: The whole plane?
Jim Richardson: In a sense sir, you remember where the Washington
monument used to be?
194243c197234
knock you both out with a single punch. Watch ...
194375c197366
Dr. Evil: Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several
195045c198036
chain. Get in my belly.
195459c198450
Coop: Of course we graduated, cock - Beer?
195475a198467,198471
Coop: Hey whats up? still just hangin' out playin' Nintendo?
Guy at reunion: Actually I'm in my second year in med school. What
are you up to?
Coop: Just hangin' out, playin' Nintendo-cock!
195545c198541
America, you have only to look at this board - the Malaka-Laka
196242a199239,199243
# Babí léto (2001)
[first lines]
Frantisek Hána: [upon visiting a mansion] Very shabby.
197589,197590c200590,200591
[pointing to Jim Slater's holster]
Johnny Cool: I notice you use a tie-down. Does that mean you're fast?
198010,198012c201011,201013
Marcus Burnett: Good. Keep it that way. Ain't gonna be no fucking
tonight.
Mike Lowery: You ever made love to a man?
198016,198022c201017,201021
Mike Lowery: Now that's how you supposed to shoot, from now on that's
how you shoot! Oh man, I want my next partner to shoot like that
WOOOOO... it takes a dysfunctional motherfucker to bust somebody in
the head like that. That's some disfunctional shit! My next
partner's gonna invite me to his barbeques and shit, though.
198028,198032c201027,201032
Mike Lowery: {Lawrence, Martin (I)@Marcus Burnett}: [singing] Bad
boys, bad boys what ya gonna do? What ya gonna do when we come for
you?
Mike Lowery: [Marcus starts singing the verse] Dude, you gotta learn
the words.
Marcus Burnett: We usually only do the chorus.
198044,198048c201044,201048
Capt. Howard: I can't believe you guys. Do you get up in the morning,
call each other up, 'Good morning, Marcus. Good morning, Mike. How
you doin'? Ai'ight. So how we going to fuck up the captain's life
today? Gee, I don't know. I don't know. Ooh, look. Over there.
Let's kill three fat people and leave on the street?'
198064,198066d201063
198100,198105c201097,201101
Marcus Burnett: [During a gun fight] Sir, we just want to talk.
Marcus Burnett: You want to talk? Alright, go ahead, go ahead.
Mike Lowery: We're not immigration!
Marcus Burnett: [More gunfire] They can't hear you 'coz they still
shootin' at you.
198116,198117c201112,201115
Marcus Burnett: Look, Mike. Calm down!
Mike Lowery: Calm down? I'm calm. I'm calm. Whoaa! Whoa! I am way too
unstable for that bullshit! Stop all the goddamn movement!
Everybody stop moving.
198136,198146c201134,201144
Mike Lowery: [Pretending to be drunk] Nigger, who is it at the door?
Marcus Burnett: It's Reggie!
Mike Lowery: Who the fuck is Reggie?
Marcus Burnett: Came to take Megan out.
Mike Lowery: [To Reggie] What you want, nigger?
Reggie: I'm here... to take his daughter out.
Mike Lowery: Motherfucker, I heard the boy say your name Reggie? You
wanna be takin' Megan out?
Reggie: Yes, sire?
Mike Lowery: How old is you?
Reggie: Fifteen.
198703a201702,201704
Ben Kinnear: [after grabbing Wicks' broken arm and pulling] Anyone
for Plum Jam?
203013a206015,206021
[Oda has been shot multiple times by Kiriyama in the chest]
Toshimori Oda: [laughing] Wow! I survived thanks to my great
bullet-proof vest! [hears noise above and behind him, looks]
Kazuo Kiriyama: [pulls a samurai sword from its scabbard, leaps down
to Oda]
Subtitle: Boys No.4: Oda, 20 to go
203127,203128c206135,206136
WRAF Corporal Seymour: The Erks have other things on their minds
these days thank goodness!
203140a206149,206162
Squadron Leader Skipper: How many time have I told you - never fly
straight and level for more than 30 seconds in a combat area!
Warr. Off. Warrick: Put that cigarette out! The mains have gone,
can't you smell gas?
Section Officer Maggie Harvey: Don't you yell at me, MR Warrick!
[Sgt Pilot Andy is reading a letter, while the pilots are waiting for
the call to scramble]
Sgt. Pilot Andy: Silly Bitch!
Pilot Officer Archie: He's calling you names again, Arnold!
Sgt. Pilot Andy: I spend half my leave getting her settled in the
country, and now, "I'm bored", she says!
203584a206607,206610
Puss: [as Sugar Kane is tied to the sawmill log] This isn't very
nice.
Boots: Yeah, I think it's kinda mean!
204919a207946,207948
Beavis: Hey Butt-head, are we gonna die?
Butt-head: Uhhhhhh... probably.
205806a208836,208840
# Beginning of the End (1957)
Col. Tom Sturgeon: Where do I get off asking the Regular Army for
help with a bunch of oversize grasshoppers?
206631,206632c209665,209671
Sam: I'm Sam.
Benny: So I hear... I'm Benny.
Sam: With an 'n'?
Benny: Yea two of 'em... this is Joon.
Sam: With an 'n'?
Joon: One... You're out of your tree.
Sam: It's... not my tree
206694a209734,209737
Joon: I lost...
Benny: What's in the pot?
Joon: A cousin.
209348c212391
Homeless Guy: That - well - -Stop yelling at me! AAAhhhhhhhh!
209360a212404,212417
Sonny: I got some interesting news?
Lenny: Oh yeah, what?
Sonny: I kind of adopted a kid
Lenny: What the hell are you talking about?
Sonny: I'm talking about you becoming a grandfather, congratulations
Lenny: And who the hell would give you a kid?
Sonny: Social Services
Lenny: You idiot, you better give that kid back
Sonny: His mother's *screams at Julian* "Hey Buddy, go play with them
pigeons over there" I tried to give him back, I just, I just, I
just can't! , I need your help I'm in a bad way right now, Vanessa
dumped me, I don't know what the hell I'm doing
Lenny: You damn right you don't know what the hell you doing
209572a212630,212631
Young Ed Bloom: Now I may not have much, but I have more
determination then any man you're likely to ever meet.
212715,212716c215774,215779
Deputy: Now you drop that gun or I'll shoot her!
Deputy: [long pause] I'm not gonna ask you again.
Billy Jack: You won't have to.
Deputy: What?
Billy Jack: I said shoot her.
Deputy: [cocks revolver] You'd kill her? just like that?
212719c215782
Billy Jack: And then I'll kill you. Just like that.
214076,214077c217139,217140
Nadia: [in Russian] Are you a giraffe?
John: [in Russian] Yes.
214086c217149
Nadia: My name's not Nadia.
215989c219052
Batty: I want more life, Father!
216089c219152
Rachael: I can't... rely on... my memories...
216095c219158
Rachael: I want you. [pauses] Put your hands on me.
216117c219180,219181
Deckard: [Deckard smashes an iron rod against Batty's head] Go to
Hell!
217172a220237,220239
Ronald Baines: [watching Sid fill the petrol tank on the lawnmower
with a chamber pot] Such confidence!
217408a220476,220479
# Blinkende lygter (2000)
Carl: Beers should be cold as earth.
217528a220600,220627
# Blood Feast 2: All U Can Eat (2002)
Misti Morning: Why did you have to kidnap me? I'd be happy to help
out with Tiffani's wedding with serving the food and appetizers.
Fuad Ramses III: No, no my dear Misti. I don't want you to serve
appetizers. I need you to "be" appetizers.
Detective Loomis: I think there's a more sinister picture here. Now
what do we have? Three dead girls, missing kidneys, missing eyes,
missing liver. Now, what does that add up to?
Detective Myers: Eight?
Detective Loomis: No. I mean what does that tell you?
Detective Myers: There's a pattern?
Detective Loomis: Yes, there's a pattern. Organ harvesters.
Detective Myers: I say we pay this Ramses guy a visit. It seems he's
taken up killing just his dear old grandfather.
Detective Loomis: I'm with you. If there's nothing else to do, maybe
he's got some éclairs or something at his shop 'cause I'm hungry.
Detective Myers: We're on to you Ramses! We know what you're doing!
Harvesting human organs for the black market! You fiend! You turd!
You...
Detective Loomis: Shut up! You know how much free food I'm gonna get
out of this guy? Do you know how much free food I'm gonna get from
this guy? You cost me one cream puff and I'll break my foot off in
your ass!
217867a220967,220981
# Bloodfist III: Forced to Fight (1992)
[explaining why he was sent to prison]
Jimmy Boland: They didn't like the color of my skin.
Wheelhead: I got leadership qualities and I look like a towel head.
Samuel Stark: I never met a nigger, Clint - I don't know what a
nigger looks like
Samuel Stark: Let the Brother Supreme show us all how it's done.
Samuel Stark: You're so involved with your own hate, you'd rather die
than see it go.
218075a221190,221223
Fred Jung: Money isn't real, George. It doesn't matter. It only seems
like it does.
Young George: Are you gonna tell Mom that?
Fred Jung: Yeah, that's gonna be a tricky one.
Diego Delgado: How much time do you have?
George: Oh, let's see. Twenty-six months.
Diego Delgado: Twenty-six months? For murder? I must meet your
lawyer.
George: Danbury wasn't a prison, it was a crime school. I went in
with a Bachelor of marijuana, came out with a Doctorate of cocaine.
Cesar Toban: Do you have pictures of your kids?
Jack Stevens: What?
Cesar Toban: I need to see them. I'll also need their names and the
names of their schools. We are trusting you with millions of
dollars of coke, Mr. Stevens. Without your children, there is no
deal.
Diego Delgado: I need a favor from you.
George: [voice over] The favor was to pick up fifty kilos of cocaine.
Fifty. That's a hundred and ten pounds. Not exactly a small favor.
Not like bumming a cigarette, for example. But what the hell. I
didn't have anything better to do that day. It's not like I was on
parole or anything.
Pablo Escobar: Our business here today is cocaine, yes?
George: Si. Yes it is.
Pablo Escobar: I need to find an Americano who I can trust. One with
honor, intelligence . . .
George: You need an Americano with balls, Senior Escobar.
Pablo Escobar: Yes, and balls, Mr. George.
220384c223532
Murphy: You and your fucking rope.
220388,220397c223536,223544
Murphy: Where the fuck are you going?
Connor: shh. I'm trying to figure some shit out so keep your shut.
Murphy: Ahh, fuck you. I'm sweatin' my ass off carrying around your
stupid fuckin rope. Must weigh 30 lbs...
Connor: Shut up. [hits him on the head with flashlight. Murphy pushes
him-the two begin to wrestle in the vent. They feel it start to
fall]
Connor: Jesus Fucking Christ.
Murphy: Oh, shit.
220402,220403c223549,223550
Connor: I do believe the monsignor's finally got the point.
Murphy: Aye.
220410,220413c223557,223558
Connor: Well, a penny saved is worth two in the bush, is'nt it?
Murphy: And don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen.
220416,220417c223561,223562
Murphy: So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock,
we got us an away team.
220431,220442c223576,223587
Connor: Now you will receive us.
Murphy: We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry.
Connor: We do not want your tired and sick.
Murphy: It is your corrupt we claim.
Connor: It is your evil that will be sought by us.
Murphy: With every breath, we shall hunt them down.
Connor: Each day we will spill their blood, 'til it rains down from
the skies.
Murphy: Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles
which every man of every faith can embrace.
Connor: These are not polite suggestions, these are codes of
behavior, and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest
220444,220449c223589,223594
Murphy: There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms
of filth, not to push the bounds and cross over, in to true
corruption, into our domain.
Connor: For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will
see we three, and on that day you will reap it.
Murphy: And we will send you to whatever god you wish.
220474,220483c223619,223626
Connor: You know what we need? Some rope.
Murphy: What are you, insane?
Connor: No, I'm serious. Charlie Bronson's always got a rope. In the
movies, they've always got rope and they always end up using it.
Murphy: That's stupid. Name one fucking thing you're gonna need a
rope for.
Connor: It's not what they need it for, they just always need it.
Murphy: What's this "they" shit? This isn't a movie.
220485,220486c223628,223629
Connor: Oh, is that right, Rambo?
Murphy: All right, get your stupid fucking rope.
220494,220503c223637,223644
Connor: Well, "name one thing you're gonna need this stupid fucking
rope for".
Murphy: That was way easier than I thought it would be.
Connor: Aye.
Murphy: On TV you always have that guy that jumps over the sofa...
Connor: And then you've got to shoot at him for ten fucking minutes.
Murphy: We're good.
Connor: Yes, we are.
220506c223647
Murphy: The hits just keep on coming. I love our new job.
220517c223658
Murphy: Kind of liberating, isn't it?
220520,220521c223661
Connor: We haven't really figured out a system to decide who.
220525,220526c223665,223666
Murphy: So what do you think?
Connor: I'm strangely comfortable with it.
220548,220550c223688,223690
Murphy: There are many forms of evil. We urge you lesser forms of
filth not to push the boundaries into true corruption, into our
domain.
220552,220553c223692,223693
Murphy: Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles
which every man of every faith can embrace.
220555c223695
Connor: How far are we going to take this, Da?
220559c223699
Connor: It's the real deal, Roc. Evil man, dead man.
220562c223702
Connor: What the fuck are you doing?
220565,220567c223705,223707
Murphy: We're sorta like 7-11. We're not always doin' business, but
we're always open.
Connor: That was nicely put.
220580c223720
Connor: Yeah, well it's not.
220582,220587c223722,223726
[Connor and Murphy always pray over their victims]
Connor, Murphy: And shepherds we shall be, for thee my Lord for thee,
Power hath descended forth from thy hand, that our feet may swiftly
carry out thy command, we shall flow a river forth to thee, and
teeming with souls shall it ever be. In nomine patris, et filii...
220589c223728
Connor, Murphy: ...et spiritus sancti.
220604,220618c223743,223756
Connor: Jesus. He brought a six-shooter.
Murphy: There's nine bodies, genius.
Connor: What the fuck were you going to do, laugh the last three to
death, Funny-Man?
Connor: These decent men with loving families, they go home every day
after work, and turn on the news and you know what they see? They
see rapists and murderers and child molestors and they're all
getting' out of jail.
Murphy: "Mafiosos," getting' caught with 20 kilos, getting' out on
bail. Same fucking day.
Connor: And everyone, everywhere thinks the same thing: that someone
should just go kill those mother fuckers.
Murphy: Kill 'em all. Admit it, even you've thought about it.
220624,220625c223762
Connor: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.
220628c223765
Connor: The rule of thumb here is...
220632,220633c223769,223770
Connor: Well, can't do much damage with that then can ya? Maybe it
should have been a rule of wrist.
220654c223791
Paul Smecker: What are you doing?
220656c223793
Paul Smecker: Cuddle? What a fag.
220663,220664c223800,223801
Connor: Destroy all that which is evil.
Murphy: So that which is good may flourish.
220680,220685c223817,223822
Detective Greenly: These guys are miles away by now, but if you want
to beat your head against the wall, then here's what you're looking
for; they're scared like two little bunny rabbits. Anything in a
uniform or flashing blue lights is gonna spook em'. Ok? All we can
do, is put a potato on a string and drag it through south Boston,
thanks for comin' out.
220688c223825
Detective Greenly: Where you goin'? No where.
220690c223827
Connor: Now Roc... are you sure that you're obee-kaybee?
220713c223850
Connor: Donna's gonna be angry about her cat.
220717c223854
Connor: Yeah, Roc, you sound real remorseful there.
220743,220745c223880,223881
Murphy: Yeah, it's St. Patty's Day, everyone's Irish tonight. Why
don't you just pull up a stool and have a drink with us?
220943a224080,224107
Oscar 'Red' McGooney: She's out like your last match on a windy
night. I got to get the doc!
Officer Willets: Of all the lug-headed sheriffs I've ever saw, you
western ones are the dumbest!
Sheriff Amos Link: I can't ask men to drive them wagons into certain
death!
Dr. Stephen Kellogg, aka Steve Kells: Some men, Sheriff, aren't worth
asking.
Honest John Whittaker: And another thing - all horses must be kept
off the sidewalks. And last and most important, saloons is to be
kept closed between five and six in the morning. You got to sweep
'em out sometime!
Hurricane Hattie McGuire: Stand back! I ain't gonna have no bloodshed
here. I just had the place scrubbed!
Honest John Whittaker: Hey, you're a little mite polite for a native.
From the east, ain't ya? Which part?
Dr. Stephen Kellogg, aka Steve Kells: All of me.
Honest John Whittaker: Miss Hurricane, where I come from chivalry is
not dead.
Hurricane Hattie McGuire: Well, in this territory they got it gaspin'
for breath!
220949a224114,224147
# Border Shootout (1990)
Harold Mendez: I hoped I had seen the last of you.
Kirby Frye: Maybe you're hallucinating.
Harold Mendez: If you ain't corn liquor, son, you're just a bad
nightmare.
Harold Mendez: How can you tell the difference?
Kirby Frye: Because I can get over a hangover.
Phil Sundeen: I thought you hired out to anybody with a price.
Clay Jordan: So did I... but sometimes you get to thinking about
things you thought you already knew.
Chuluha: You move too quiet for a white man.
Sheriff John Danaher: Well, maybe you make too much noise for an
Indian.
R.D. Tindal: Why, you've been a deputy here for 20 years and look at
ya! You're insolent, you're illiterate, you haven't taken a bath in
a month... and you dress like a buffalo hunter!
Kirby Frye: I don't think you understood who I am, mister.
Lt. Davis: Oh, we understand who you are. You're a horse's ass lawman
who has just lost his badge. So I guess that just makes you a plain
old horse's ass, doesn't it?
Edith Hanasain: Frye must have done something really stupid.
Haig Hanasain: Oh, he did! He tried to uphold the law in this
piss-ant town.
Dandy Jim: You got a plan?
Kirby Frye: Sure! We ride in and they give themselves up.
Dandy Jim: I see you've given this a lot of thought.
222065a225264,225324
# Bounty Killer, The (1965)
Carole: He's sick.
Ridgeway: I know. I've seen this sickness before. It's an old
familiar road. Hurt, revenge, hate... all gets twisted in the mind.
First thing you know, the mind gets twisted like a hard, hard knot.
If there isn't anybody to get it out, it just explodes.
Johnny Liam: Now, no offense, but... ah... fighting with your hands
is a losing game.
[Johnny offers Willie a pistol]
Johnny Liam: And while you're at it, you learn how to use this and
hang onto it. You can get by without a dime in your pocket, but
without this iron, you're nothing.
Willie Duggans: Oh, it can't be as bad as you say.
Johnny Liam: Now, maybe where you come from the law comes in books,
but in this country, a man carries it on his hip.
Johnny Liam: Something bothering you?
Willie Duggans: One minute he was alive and then he was dead. I've
never seen a man killed before.
Johnny Liam: Everybody dies.
Willie Duggans: Don't you feel anything? He was a human being.
Johnny Liam: His kind doesn't deserve the name. I'd feel worse about
killing a helpless animal.
Youth: Well, you can say what you want, but he's done more to clean
up the territory in six months than any ten men wearing stars.
Townsman: I'm not arguing that. What I'm saying is that he's done
more killing than most of the men he's gunned down.
Ridgeway: No daughter of mine is going to be an outlaw bride.
Luther: He and his bunch are the worst cutthroats in this territory,
and you got him Mr. Duggans! Now you can collect the bounty on him.
Willie Duggans: Bounty?
Luther: Seddon had a $250 price on his head.
Willie Duggans: $250? Not bad! But, ah, how do they grade men out
here? Who fixes the price?
Luther: It depends on how much in demand their heads are, I reckon.
The more you're wanted by the law, the higher the prices. It's like
buying meat at the market, really. Except in here, it's the worst
that gets the best price.
Willie Duggans: So I'm not good enough to come to meeting! Just
because I'm a bounty hunter. You miserable bunch of hypocrites! Do
you know why I'm a bounty hunter? Because you good people pay me to
do it, that's why! You can't do your own dirty work, but you can't
wait to spit on the man who does it for you!
Willie Duggans: You shouldn't be in a place like this. How long has
it been?
Carole: Does it matter?
Willie Duggans: It matters to me.
Carole: I remember a preacher once said, 'Nobody goes to hell unless
they really want to.' I ended up here because I really wanted to.
Willie Duggans: I don't think so. We live... and learn.
Carole: That's just it. I wanted to live. Then I died... a long time
ago.
222800c226059,226081
[After learning that Kevin had gone to the police]
Peter Lavin: Have you seen Kevin?
Boys: No.
Peter Lavin: Lying little thieves! You shall not enter the Kingdom of
God! Do you HEAR ME! YOUR PUNISHMENT WILL BE ETERNAL!
Chief Kennedy: [after reading Noseworthy's report and the witness
statements] You will rewrite this piece of pornography! I can't
send something like this out! You will remove all references to
sexual matters, is that understood?
Detective Noseworthy: I didn't make this stuff up, Chief! Those are
sworn statements made by the boys.
Chief Kennedy: You get orders. I get orders. Now the case is closed!
[Noseworthy prepares to leave]
Chief Kennedy: This comes straight from the Department of Justice!
There are to be no arrests! Apparently the brothers involved will
be sent somewhere for treatment.
Detective Noseworthy: I told the little kid he wouldn't be buggered
anymore. What do I tell him now? That the High Holy Church and a
bunch of criminal politicians don't give a damn about him!
# Boys of St. Vincent: 15 Years Later, The (1993)
222805c226086
Priest in Confessional: Did you touch him?
222807c226088
Priest in Confessional: Have you had these desires before?
222809c226090
Priest in Confessional: What did you do then, about these desires?
222812,222814c226093,226095
Chantal: [after hearing Kevin Reevey's testimony and being accosted
by an angry mob] Didn't you feel anything, listening to that
testimony?
222816,222818c226097,226099
First to those lying little bastards, and now to you.
Chantal: You feel no guilt? No shame?
Peter Lavin: Kevin Reevey was a lonely little boy whom I befriended
222820,222825c226101,226105
Chantal: You loved him? You call THAT love?
Peter Lavin: Yes, I do.
Chantal: No! That is not loving! That is hurting! You have hurt this
little boy. I could KILL YOU!
Chantal: [pause] I am going to ask this only once! Have you ever
222828,222829c226108,226109
Chantal: That's right! They're MY children! They are no longer your
children!
222831,222835c226111,226133
Commission Lawyer: [interrogating Monsignor Forucco] What about
Brother Lavin? Are you aware that the police had evidence against
him as well?
Monsignor: Certainly not!
St. Vincent Resident: You're a lying bastard! He's lying to your
face! [he's now being dragged out by security] You're a lying
bastard, Monsignor! Why don't you just tell the truth? Go on then,
tell the truth! YOU CAN GO TO HELL, MONSIGNOR! GO TO HELL, you and
your brothers! GO TO HELL!
Caller: [after Monsignor Forucco named a deceased Deputy Minister as
the man he dealt with] So the dead guy did it! Is that it, Lenora?
Lenora: Well, that sure seems to be the case, doesn't it? For so far
the only government official who's been implicated, and the only
person that ANYONE can remember being at ANY meetings, for those
who can remember anything at all, was the Deputy Minister of
Justice, the late, the VERY late, Jerome Ward.
Caller: I sure wish the dead could talk. Who knows what they'd have
to say.
Lenora: That's certainly true, caller.
Caller: Well, the inquiry's still going on. I wonder who they're
gonna call up next?
Lenora: I'd be calling the Ghostbusters if I were them.
223043a226342,226344
Mad Dog: This is an A and B conversation so C your way out before D
and E F you up, okay, G?
223281,223282c226582,226585
Flakfizer: [Talking on cellular phone] How did the market close?
Uh-huh. Well, roll over my amalgamated, split my utilities, and
double my capital venture overlays. Now call me in an hour, and
tell me what the hell I'm talking about!
223289a226593,226596
Rocco: [as a dog rips his trouser leg] What a charming little animal.
Lillian Oglethorpe: Do you know dogs, Mister Melonchek?
Rocco: Know dogs? I used to be a chef in a Korean restaurant!
223397a226705,226742
# Branded (1951)
T. Jefferson Leffingwell: We don't need Tattoo. No sense dragging a
lot of dead weight... especially when it's all drunken mouth.
Choya: All my life, I've been a snake. I've lived by my wits. I've
gotten what I've wanted anyway I wanted it. Just lately I've been
wondering just for once if I couldn't do something straight... do
something a little decent.
Rubriz: So what do they call you?
Choya: Choya.
Rubriz: Choya. It is a name I have heard. Not too often. Not with the
biggest reputation. Small things with a gun.
Choya: Big enough that the Rangers want to do a little hanging.
Rubriz: Me they wish to hang a thousand times.
Rubriz: You young ones have not heard enough bullets to know the song
of them. When I rode with Juarez, I heard them by the hundreds.
Enough bullets to know their music.
[indicating Choya's guns]
Ruth Lavery: You don't need to wear them around here.
Choya: I wouldn't feel dressed without them.
Dad Travis: You got any friends?
Choya: My guns.
Dad Travis: Kinfolk?
Choya: My horse.
Ruth Lavery: What's your name?
Choya: Choya.
Ruth Lavery: That's Spanish for cactus. Why do they call you that?
Choya: Ever tried to pick one?
Choya: Posses I can dodge. Young ladies spitting insults I can't
handle.
223407c226752
Mother 2: This isn't your main job, is it?
223409c226754
Mother 2: [incredulous] A miner?
223417c226762
hearts and we're right out of vocal chords." And God said: "Fuck
223421c226766
[About God]
223441c226786
Danny: The truth is, I thought it mattered - I thought that music
223470c226815
Vera: Aye, but we can do without the drugs and rock 'n' roll!
223524a226870,226882
# Bravados, The (1958)
Jim Douglass: You're wasting a lot of good lumber. A tree does just
as well.
Sheriff Sanchez: They were sentenced to be hanged - not lynched!
Sheriff Sanchez: Ladies and gentlemen, there's no need for me to tell
you - the emergency arose and the man appeared. Mr Douglass, it's
not often a man gets to do so much for his neighbors and do it like
you did. We want you to know we'll always be grateful... and in our
hearts always.
Jim Douglass: Thank you... and in your prayers, please.
223949a227308,227311
Hamish: [before Wallace leaves to go to Edinburgh, where he is
captured after being betrayed] Ach nobles! nest o' schemin'
bastards; they canny agree oan the colour o' shite.
224510a227873,227882
Bender: Claire, you wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitis of
the nuts? It's pretty tasty.
Claire: No thank you. [sarcastically]
Bender: Oh Claire, would you ever consider dating a guy who looked
like this?
Claire: Can't you just leave me alone?
Bender: I mean even if he had a nice personality and a cool car...
although you'd probably have to ride in the backseat because his
nuts would ride shotgun
224621a227994,228008
# Breakheart Pass (1975)
Frank O'Brien: What the hell are they shooting?
Deputy U.S. Marshal Nathan Pearce: When you tell an Indian things
will be a certain way and then they're not, he's inclined to think
maybe you crossed him.
Deputy U.S. Marshal Nathan Pearce: There's more ways to pacify
Indians than shootin' holes in them!
Deputy U.S. Marshal Nathan Pearce: I reckon we come down to it,
Deakin.
John Deakin: You have a choice. You could throw that gun down.
Deputy U.S. Marshal Nathan Pearce: I don't think I can do that.
224814a228202,228258
# Bret Maverick (1981) (TV)
Cy Whittaker: If brains were leather, Philo Sandine couldn't saddle a
bug.
Philo Sandeen: My people have a saying which sums it up rather
nicely... Hawk-a-hey.
Bret Maverick: Hawk-a-hey?
Philo Sandeen: It's a good day to die. Adios, pilgrim.
Ramsey Bass: I was worried you wouldn't make it, Maverick.
Bret Maverick: Well, Bass, now you can start worrying that I did.
[Bass robs Maverick]
Ramsey Bass: You make your deposit, Maverick, and I'll make my
withdraw.
Bret Maverick: Boy, it's getting bad when you have to con your own
horse for a ride.
Philo Sandeen: My people have a custom: when you save a life, you own
that life. I am your servant. I am your brother.
Bret Maverick: I already have a brother and I don't want a servant...
particularly some bogus Indian who thinks he's Sitting Bull!
Philo Sandeen: Standing Bear! And my life belong to you.
Bret Maverick: I don't want it!
Philo Sandeen: You got it, pilgrim!
Elijah Crow: Pay no attention to Sheriff Guthrie. He's just a little
bit bitter because he's about to become a footnote in Sweetwater's
past.
Tom Guthrie: Well, there's no law against buying votes. Some of the
folks around here need the money more than they need the choice.
That's just the way it's done now. Now if you'll excuse me...
Rodney Catlow: Well, M.L. says you should give longer speeches.
Tom Guthrie: So she has told me more than once. Speech-making and
hand-shaking don't have anything to do with being a good sheriff.
When I came to this town, they didn't even have elections. I ran
off the Bannavich Gang and they hired me. It was as simple as that.
Now a man has to kiss babies... among other things.
Doc Holiday: You know, the worse thing about a reputation is you
can't outrun the thing. The press never lets up. They're on a body
like stink on a dead man.
Lou Springer: Some people have no shame.
Bret Maverick: That's because others have enough for everybody.
[Bret and Mary Lou are trapped in a cross-fire]
Bret Maverick: Well, they got us pinned flater than a brown tick on a
white dog.
[Mary Lou follows Bret and Tom to the showdown]
Bret Maverick: What's she doing out there?
Tom Guthrie: I made the mistake of telling her she couldn't come.
225871a229316,229351
# Brigham Young - Frontiersman (1940)
Joseph Smith: Perhaps it's time to show a different kind of
courage... and do something besides being killed for what we
believe.
Jonathan Kent: Gold. You know, next to the Lord and maybe the land, I
reckon it's the most powerful thing there is.
Brigham Young: Indians can't be any worse than some Christians I
know. But just the same, until we find a little more about them, we
mean to trust in you, Lord, and keep our powder dry.
Porter Rockwell: Zigzag. That means he wants to talk peace. You
zigzag out to meet him.
[An army officer tells the Mormons they must leave Indiana
immediately because the law can't help them]
Brigham Young: The law? What law? The law that let's a pack of
scoundrels come in here and hunt us down like wild animals, burn
our homes, ruin our crops, arrest our leader on trumped-up charges
and then look the other way when a mob breaks in and murders him?
If they call that law, let 'em keep it. We don't want any more of
it!
Brigham Young: I'm not looking for an easy religion. I'm looking for
one I can bring my family up decent in.
Jonathan Kent: Even though we might be the last wagon, we'd never be
the first to fall out.
Mary Ann Young: You're dead set against California, aren't you?
Brigham Young: You know human nature. Take a crowd of people to a
place of milk and honey and in six months time, they won't be worth
shooting.
226827a230308,230359
# Broken Arrow (1950)
Cochise: White Painted Lady, I have old wounds.
Sonseeahray: Yes, but each scar is a mark of love for your people.
The path of your people is stretched long behind you, and you are
the head, and you are th eheart, and you are the blood. Killer of
Enemies was your father and you are his son. You will be well.
Tom Jeffords: Cochise can't even read a map, but he and his men know
every gulley, every foot of every mountain, every waterhole in
Arizona. His horses can go twice as far as yours in a day, and his
men can run on foot as far as a horse can run. He can't write his
name, but his intelligence service knows when you got to Fort Grant
and how many men you got. He stopped the Butterfield Stage from
running. He stopped the U.S. Mail from going through. And for the
first time in Indian history, he has all the Apaches from all the
tribes fighting under one command.
Cochise: You should always wipe your hands on your arm after eating,
tall one. The grease is good for them.
Tom Jeffords: Ah, among the white men, we wash it off.
Cochise: What a waste!
Cochise: To talk of peace is not hard. To live it is very hard.
Cochise: I break the arrow. I will try the way of peace.
Cochise: Now I say this: the Americans keep cattle but they are not
soft or weak. Why should not the Apache be able to learn new ways?
It is not easy to change, but sometimes it is required. The
Americans grow stronger while we grow weaker. If a big wind comes,
a tree must bend... or be lifted out by the roots.
[on Cochise]
Juan, Teacher-Guide: Remember this: if you see him, do not lie to
him... not in the smallest thing. His eyes will see into your
heart. He is greater than other men.
Tom Jeffords: They found a pouch on one of the wounded men, and in
the pouch were three Apache scalps. So they dug a pit in the ground
and they rubbed his face with the juice of the mescal plant. And
they made me watch the ants come.
Cochise: You know what I am thinking? Maybe someday you will kill me,
or I will kill you. But we will not spit on each other.
Tom Jeffords: When the Indian wishes to signal his brother, he does
so by smoke sign. This is the white man's signal. My brothers far
away can look at this and understand my meaning. We call this mail.
And the men who carry the mail are like the air that carries the
Apache smoke signals.
226955a230488,230510
# Broken Chain, The (1993) (TV)
[Gesina counsels Seth to remember his Indian heritage]
Gesina 'Grandmother': But you must be careful not to become so fond
of their ways that you ever forget who and what you are.
Joseph Brandt: With my people, our mothers have taught us to bring
into our home those we capture. Bring them into our lives, have
them come as one into our nations, share our home fires.
Joseph Brandt: As we turned our face to Canada, we left behind a new
nation, the United States of America. A nation that was created in
our image and that was paid for with the blood of the Iroquois
people. But the people of the Long House will survive as long as we
keep the Tree of Peace growing and the spirit of the council fire
bright. For it is a spirit and a fire that must never be allowed to
die. And as long as the people believe in it, they shall live on
through all the ages. And they shall have the sanction of the
Holder of the Heavens forever.
Ben Franklin: What does it take to break a single arrow? Nothing! But
bound together... unbreakable!
227164a230720,230759
# Broken Lance (1954)
Mike Devereaux: He'll cool down... and when he does he'll make the
deal. He's too smart not to. Ain't that right, Ben?
Ben Devereaux: I don't know. But anybody that throws $10,000 in a
spittoon makes me nervous.
Van Cleve: I now ask you, sir, do you rember the names Charlie
Monger, Red Dog Johnson or Carlos Rameriez?
Matt Devereaux: No.
Van Cleve: The incident may be too trivial to recall. But isn't it
true that you summarily hanged three of these men on the afternoon
of June 4th...
Matt Devereaux: They were stealing my cattle!
Van Cleve: I thought you didn't remember them.
Matt Devereaux: I didn't ask their names!
Van Cleve: You just hanged 'em?
Matt Devereaux: By the neck until they were dead. They were thieves!
# Broken Land, The (1962)
[Billy picks up a gunbelt]
Billy: Well, I guess if I am going to be wanted man, I might as wear
this.
Will Brocious: Every well-dressed bad man does, Billy.
Marshall Jim Cogan: You see, no man really knows right from wrong.
That's why laws were invented. I've lived by them all my life. It's
the only way I can be sure of myself.
Mavera: How long will he hold you?
Will Brocious: It's hard to tell. He's got a real bad case... like
none I've ever seen.
Mavera: A case of what?
Will Brocious: I call it blood hunger. It eats away at a man's guts
and it don't matter what side of the law he's on.
Mavera: First it was the Army uniform. Now it's a badge. Someday
you'll make a mistake and stand all alone.
227168a230764,230812
# Bronco Billy (1980)
Dr. Canterbury, Head of Sanatorium: Billy, my considered diagnosis is
that you have the worst ailment known to man - no money!
Antoinette Lilly: Good morning!
Lefty LeBow: What's so good about it?
Antoinette Lilly: Smell that fresh morning air! Look at the blue sky
above!
Lefty LeBow: Have you been drinkin' some of Doc's Snakebite?
Bronco Billy McCoy: Now look! I don't take kindly to kids playin'
hooky from school. I think every kid in America ought to go to
school... at least up to the eighth grade.
Young kid: We don't go to school today, Bronco Billy. It's Saturday!
Bronco Billy McCoy: Killin's too good for you!
Antoinette Lilly: But why do I hate him so?
Lorraine Running Water: The Apaches have a word for that... it's
called love.
Antoinette Lilly: Have you ever been married?
Bronco Billy McCoy: Sure. A long time ago.
Antoinette Lilly: Did you love her?
Bronco Billy McCoy: With all my heart. Sometimes that just isn't
enough.
Antoinette Lilly: What happened?
Bronco Billy McCoy: I caught her in bed with my best friend.
Antoinette Lilly: What did you do to him?
Bronco Billy McCoy: I shot her.
Antoinette Lilly: What! What about him?
Bronco Billy McCoy: He was my best friend!
Lorraine Running Water: He's like all men... a big kid in a man's
body.
Antoinette Lilly: Are you for real?
Bronco Billy McCoy: I'm who I want to be.
Bronco Billy McCoy: Go ahead, let the tears fall in the beer.
Antoinette Lilly: I'm not crying!
Bronco Billy McCoy: There's nothing wrong with cryin'.
Antoinette Lilly: The smoke in here is hurting my eyes!
Lorraine Running Water: Do you understand what Bronco Billy and the
wild west show are all about? You can be anything you want. All you
have to do is go out and become it!
227812a231457,231469
# Brothers in the Saddle (1949)
Chito Rafferty: Drop the pistol or this one will start leaking lead!
# Brothers of the Frontier (1996) (TV)
Chewlynndit: The medicine man will help him. He's trying to restore
harmony to his body.
Chewlynndit: I believe what my grandfather used to tell me: that eyes
that meet the way ours did, and hold tightly, are meant to meet
again... many times.
228230c231887
had your bad side, too. Well... like cheatin' at stud and emptying
228238a231896,231921
Lew Agry: Let's take him over to the jailhouse and wait for him to
come to. When I hang a man, I like him to know what's going on.
Waldo Peek: All right. Quiet, quiet, everybody! Your trial is about
to start. Now Jim here is going to pass among you with a tray and
the Judge wants me to have you put all your glasses in that tray...
empty! The Judge don't want no more liquored-up opinion like he had
in that last trial.
Lew Agry: You don't like this town?
Tom Buchanan: I don't like some of its people.
Lew Agry: Me included?
Tom Buchanan: You especially.
Lew Agry: Oh, you'd like to kill me, maybe?
Tom Buchanan: I'd like to give you what you and your boys gave me.
Lew Agry: Take the law into your own hands, is that it?
Tom Buchanan: No. Just you.
Pecos Hill: There ain't no place like West Texas.
Tom Buchanan: Then how come you're in California?
Pecos Hill: Oh, I fiddle-footed. This country is so dang big, a man
just itches to move around it. One day I got tired of watching the
sun go west and I just followed it on out here. But I ain't itchin'
no more. Before long, I'll follow that sun right on back to where I
come from.
228241c231924
[Jack is soaked]
228245a231929,231936
Phil Harris: Going somewhere?
Jack Benny: Listen, Phil, there's a train leaving for the east
tonight. I'm going to be on it if I have to sit on the engineer's
lap.
Phil Harris: Well, we just got here. You know what Brenda said...
this place grows on you.
Jack Benny: Well, it'll have to grow on somebody else!
228281a231973,231982
# Buck and the Preacher (1972)
Buck: Which way are you ridin', Preacher?
The Preacher: Well, that's not exactly settled in my mind yet.
Buck: Well, you got three possibilities.
The Preacher: Oh?
Buck: North, south or east.
The Preacher: What happened to west?
Buck: We're going west.
228801,228802c232502,232503
Molt: [motioning a fellow grasshopper] He's quite the motivational
speaker, isn't he?
228806a232508,232518
[The ants watch as Heimlich gets stuck during the bird attack]
Princess Atta: The caterpillar is using himself as live bait.
Mr. Soil: How brave!
Heimlich: [As bird looms over him] Aaaaaaaaah!
Hopper: Where do you get the gall to do this to me?
Flick: You were going to squish the queen.
[All the ants gasp]
Dot: It's true.
Hopper: I hate it when they give away the ending.
229849a233562,233563
Man With No Name: Take off your gun and put on your pants.
229935c233649
Nolan: [to Dexter] Don't worry, ol' son, there's lots of politicians
229939,229940c233653,233654
Singing Fisherman: We'll haul away. We'll haul away together.
Everyone: We'll haul away, we'll haul away Joe.
232140c235854
- so it'll be a fair fight.
232221a235936,235947
Lt. Steve Maryk: Lt. Geenwald, will you take our case?
Lt. Barney Greenwald: I'd much rather prosecute.
Court-Martial Board Member: Proceed carefully, Mr. Greenwald. You are
questioning the reputation of a long serving officer in the United
States Navy.
Lt. Barney Greenwald: It is not my intention to question the courage
of Lt. Commander Queeg. No man who is a coward rises to the command
of a naval warship. The question is rather if Commander Queeg
showed the judgement suited for command at that specific time and
if Lt. Maryk was justified in relieving him.
232254a235981,235993
# Calcium Kid, The (2004)
Jimmy: I've drank three pints of milk a day for as long as I can
remember. Because of all the calcium, I've never had a filling, or
been knocked out, and my bones are as hard as rock!
Jimmy: But what if I don't knock him out? I mean, he is the
undefeated World Champion.
Jimmy: [holding a shirt with 'The Kalcium Kid' on it] But calcium is
spelled with a 'C,' not a 'K', Mr. Bush.
Herbie Bush: C, K, C, K, CK... It's flummoxed.
233104c236843,236848
Mike Dexter: Guys, we're gonna be in college soon. You know what
there's gonna be in college, right?
Jake, Jock #1: [beat] Girls that used to be in high school.
Mike Dexter: No, women. College women. Women with no curfew, women on
the pill, women... women, bro. We are staring into the future here.
And the future is women.
233144,233149c236888,236893
Kenny Fisher: [thinking] All right this is it. It is finally time for
Kenny Fisher to become... da man. Now I've done my laps, and all
ten finalists are present and accounted for. Ten lovely ladies, yo.
Each one at my disposal. Ten willing and able tour guides into the
theme park of love. But who will it be? Which of you gorgeous ten
will be the lucky one?
233230a236975,236980
Preston: Hey, I've got one. Remember when I was trying to pick up
that beautiful girl, and you came up to me and started telling all
those embarrassing stories?
Reminiscing Guy: No.
Preston: Gee, that's funny. Because IT JUST HAPPENED!
233932a237683,237709
Victor: [J.J. has just performed a dangerous stunt] I figured it out.
If we do this ten times a day, by the end of the year, we'll be
billionaires. [Victor tears up a telegram]
J.J. McClure: What is that?
Victor: Oh, don't worry about that. It's the Cannonball race. It's on
again. A million dollars is the first prize. But don't you worry,
we'll be billionaires. [J.J. picks up a handful of hay and stuffs
it into Victor's mouth]
Victor: What did I say?
J.J. McClure: You want me to do this ten times a day?
Victor: Nine? [J.J. stuffs another handful of hay in his mouth]
Victor: What a grouch!
Slim: Okay, you'll tell us.
Blake: We're gonna race to Connecticut and the one that wins gets a
million dollars in cash.
Tony: Only a moron would back up a race like that!
Shiek: [The Shiek enters] Ah, Fenderbaum and Blake. Good to see you!
You should be sleeping at this hour. Remember, we leave at noon
tomorrow.
Shiek: [Fenderbaum directs the Shiek's attention to the Cannelonis]
Wingtips? Barbarians! Come, come!
Shiek: [The Shiek hands Caesar a handful of money] Buy yourself a
decent clothing store. Infidels!
Blake: [The Shiek leaves] That was the moron.
Caesar: You know, these liars could be telling the truth.
234469c238246
The Spider Queen: Join me, Captain Valedor. Together we can spin a
235801a239579,239597
Haines: [Haines, having come to sick bay for a sea-sickness cure,
refuses to have an injection in his arm] I can't bear to see the
needle going in, you see.
Doctor: Well, it that case there's only one other place for it to go.
Drop em!
Haines: I'm not holding them, whatever they are!
1st Officer Leonard Marjoribanks: I gather the Doctor means your
trousers
Haines: Oh. What!
[Captain Crowther enters his cabin, and finds Tom Tree putting
clothes in the drawers]
Captain: Don't tell me. You're my new steward. Lovall has broken his
leg. You've only done three trips, all from Tower Bridge to
Margate.
Tom Tree: That's right, Sir. How can you tell?
Captain: I'm psychic! [Glances at his list] Tom Tree.
Tom Tree: That's right, Sir. Branches everywhere!
235814a239611
[Melly has just swallowed a button from Pvt. Easy's jacket]
235820a239618,239620
Sgt. Tilly Willing: [on seeing Melly for the first time] Two inches
shorter, he could see right up my skirt!
236446a240247,240252
Captain Renault: I've often speculated why you don't return to
America. Did you abscond with the church funds? Run off with a
senator's wife? I like to think you killed a man. It's the Romantic
in me.
Rick: It was a combination of all three.
239529c243335
Natalie Cook: Oh, my god! How'd you know?
239584a243391,243398
Natalie Cook: Bring it on, bitch!
Madison Lee: [thinking that she's about to kill Charlie's Angels]
Enjoy heaven.
Natalie Cook: Go to hell.
Alex Munday: [the Angels kill Madison; she dies amid flames] She's so
fired.
240756,240757c244570,244571
Hank: [with passion] Every once in a while, I carve a pumpkin with a
knife made of lollipop sticks...
240759a244574,244576
Kate: You need a paramedic?
Tom: No, just a pair o' knees.
240945a244763,244769
# Cherry, Harry & Raquel! (1970)
Raquel: When are you gonna introduce me to Cherry? I bet we have a
lot in common.
Harry: I don't like women messing around with women. It's
un-american.
240966a244791,244794
# Chhal (2002)
Padmini: Chup chap sunti hai yeh... It is quietly listening...
241536,241538c245364,245366
Introductory Card: Every man has a past - with some little
"indiscretion" he would like to bury - Mr. Laurel and Mr. Hardy
have 30 or 40 they would like to cremate.
241541c245369
Ollie's blackmailer: I don't care if you burn up!
242341,242343c246169,246171
Jake Gittes: How'd you find out about it? You don't drink it; you
don't take a bath in it... They wrote you a letter. But then you
have to be able to read.
242352c246180
Evelyn Mulwray: Tell me, Mr. Gittes: Does this often happen to you?
242357c246185
Jake Gittes: Actually, this hasn't happened to me for a long time.
242363c246191
Jake Gittes: Working for the District Attorney.
242366c246194
Evelyn Mulwray: The District Attorney gives his men advice like that?
242369c246197,246198
Lt. Escobar: [pointing to a graffito on the wall] Isn't that your
phone number?
242381c246210
Noah Cross: The future, Mr. Gitts, the future.
242386c246215
[a woman identifying herself as Evelyn Mulwray is hiring Gittes]
242389c246218
Mrs. Mulwray: A wife can tell.
242391c246220
Mrs. Mulwray: Yes, of course.
242394c246223
Jake Gittes: There's no point in getting tough with me. I'm just ...
242414,242415c246243
Noah Cross: You've got a nasty reputation, Mr. Gitts. I like that.
242420,242421c246248,246249
[Evelyn Mulwray drives while Gittes reads an obituary from the
newspaper]
242442,242444c246270,246272
Noah Cross: See, Mr. Gitts, most people never have to face the fact
that, at the right time and the right place, they're capable of...
anything!
242445a246274
[last lines]
242448c246277,246278
[an anonymous caller has telephoned Gittes]
Ida Sessions: Are you alone?
242451,242452c246281,246283
Mulwray's Gardener: [in heavy Japanese accent, referring to the
grass] Bad for glass.
Jake Gittes: Yeah, sure. Bad for the glass.
242455a246287
[Gittes pretends to seek a nursing home for his father]
242457,242459c246289,246290
Mr. Palmer: I'm sorry, we do not.
Jake Gittes: Don't apologize - neither does Dad.
244015a247847,247849
Sandro Cenoura: Have you lost your mind ? you are just a child !
Gang Member: I smoke, I snort, I've killed and robbed, I'm a man.
244021c247855
[Discussing the legality of performing abortions]
244046a247881,247975
Homer Wells: Uh, nobody's named this one yet.
Dr. Wilbur Larch: Oh, it's my turn. Henceforth, you shall be little
Dorrit. [baby starts crying]
Homer Wells: Oh, you don't like that, do you? He's a boy, that's why.
Dr. Wilbur Larch: Can't a boy be Dorrit?
Homer Wells: I don't think so.
Dr. Wilbur Larch: You do it.
Homer Wells: Ok. Henceforth, you shall be Little Wilbur.
Dr. Wilbur Larch: I'm not crazy about the "Little".
Homer Wells: Ok, just Wilbur then.
Homer Wells: They wanted a girl, Curly.
Curly: Nobody ever wants me.
Homer Wells: Oh, hey. Hey, come on. Come here. You know, you're one
of the best Curly, and we wouldn't let just anyone take you.
Curly: Dr. Larch wouldn't let just anyone take any of us.
Homer Wells: Well that's true.
Curly: Nobody's asked for me, have they?
Homer Wells: Nobody special enough, Curly.
Curly: You mean somebody has?
Homer Wells: Only the right people can have you. Now what do you say
we go unpack your suitcase?
Fuzzy: Is your father dead?
Dr. Wilbur Larch: Cirrhosis. It's a disease of the liver.
Fuzzy: What, a liver killed him?
Dr. Wilbur Larch: No, alcohol killed him. He drank himself to death.
Fuzzy: But did you know him?
Dr. Wilbur Larch: Barely. But it hardly mattered that I knew him.
Fuzzy: Did you know your mother better?
Dr. Wilbur Larch: Mm-hmm. She's dead now too. She was a nanny.
Fuzzy: What's a nanny do?
Dr. Wilbur Larch: She looks after other people's children.
Fuzzy: Did she grow up around here?
Dr. Wilbur Larch: No. She was an immigrant.
Fuzzy: What's an immigrant?
Dr. Wilbur Larch: Someone not from Maine.
Homer Wells: I was wondering if you could give me a ride.
Wally Worthington: Sure. I'd be glad to. A ride where?
Homer Wells: Where you going?
Wally Worthington: We're heading back to Cape Kenneth.
Homer Wells: Cape Kenneth? That sounds fine.
Homer Wells: I've never actually seen a lobster.
Candy Kendall: Are you serious?
Homer Wells: I've never seen the ocean either.
Wally Worthington: You've never seen the ocean? That's not funny,
that's serious.
Candy Kendall: He volunteered. Jesus. Nobody volunteers for the Burma
run. He said so himself. He just leaves me here. What does he want?
He wants me to wait for him? Oh, God he knows me. He knows I'm not
good at being alone. This was right. I know this was right.
Homer Wells: You're right. This was right.
Candy Kendall: Yeah.
Candy Kendall: I know what's going on Rose. Homer told me. You don't
know this, but I got pregnant about a year ago. Do you want to have
this baby? No? Who's the father? Does he know? If you don't want to
have this baby, Homer and I will take you to a place. It's safe. He
knows this doc...
Rose Rose: I can't go nowhere.
Candy Kendall: Why? Rose, listen to me. You can tell me. It's ok.
[Rose starts crying]
Arthur Rose: Morning.
Candy Kendall: Morning, Mr. Rose.
Arthur Rose: I'm gonna be up top, ok? [Rose gestures to Arthur as the
father of her baby]
Homer Wells: You're having sex with your own daughter.
Arthur Rose: Ain't nobody havin' sex with my daughter! Let me just
tell you that!
Homer Wells: You're lying. Aren't you ashamed of yourself? What do
you care who hears? I mean, come on. They know already, don't they?
They know Mr. Rose.
Arthur Rose: And you know what your business is, boy! I know you
don't wanna be in no kind of business with me! That's what I know.
Homer Wells: Yeah? Go on. Cut my clothes. I've got other clothes.
Arthur Rose: You gonna come here talkin' to me about lies and shame?
Those people took you in, and that boy Wally is away at war!
Homer Wells: Yeah, well she's your daughter!
Arthur Rose: And I love her! Ain't never gonna do nothin' to harm
her.
Homer Wells: She's pregnant, you know that? She's pregnant.
Nurse Angela: [looking at an X-Ray] Do you know what this is?
Homer Wells: Oh, that's my heart.
Nurse Angela: No, actually, it's Fuzzy's. There's nothing wrong with
your heart.
Nurse Edna: Dr. Larch wanted to keep you out of the war. That's why
he told you it was yours.
Nurse Angela: He was worried about his own heart. He said it would
never stand up to Homer Wells going off to war.
246042a249972,249980
# Class of Nuke 'Em High 3: The Good, the Bad and the Subhumanoid (1994)
[reflecting on life as a subhumanoid]
Roger Smith: I just can't shake that feeling that I'm not a whole
person.
[secretly filming a mutant sex session]
Professor Holt: Check focus on her melon-heavy breasts.
247150c251088
# Cloaca (2003) (TV)
248760a252699,252704
Patsy Cline: People are wantin' to know who you've been sleepin' with
to get on the Opry so quick.
Loretta Lynn: Well, I never... who would say such a thing?
Patsy Cline: All those girl singers who've been sleepin' with
everybody and *still* ain't got on the Opry.
251534a255479,255483
# Compañeros (1970)
Yolof Peterson: Your friend is right, compañero. When you're about
to die, don't ask so many questions.
255767a259717,259725
# Crazy House (1943)
[questioning the artist about his abstract painting "Moonlight Over
Manhattan"]
Prosecutor: Will you kindly tell us where the moonlight is?
Roco: Well, it's all moonlight.
Prosecutor: Then where's Manhattan?
Roco: Between Brooklyn and Jersey. Everybody knows that.
256162a260121,260126
# Creeping Flesh, The (1973)
James Hildern: Unfortunately, in the state of society as it exists
today, we are not permitted to experiment on human beings. Normal
human beings.
256216,256218d260179
256220,256221c260181,260182
exhibit, your sheep's eyes, chicken guts, piggy friends and shit
for brains!
256251c260212,260215
Harry: We dug a hole for you...
Becky: ...On the beach!
Wilma Northrup: Just call me Billie, everyone does.
256255,256256c260219,260220
Henry: I drove out there with the remains of three human beings...
well, two human beings and Wilma.
257293,257294c261257,261258
T-Bird: You know, Lake Erie actually caught on fire once from all the
crap floating around in it. I wish I could've seen that.
257316c261280
[Skank is chasing T-bird in a wrecked Yugo]
261243c265207,265208
Sheriff Larry Williams: A lock is a lock. If something's locked, it's
locked.
261262a265228,265282
Brett Wade: All right, what is it?
Doc Jameson: You know why you've been coughing so much lately? You
never gave that wound time to heal properly. It's inflaming your
lung.
Brett Wade: Is that a medical opinion or fact?
Doc Jameson: Oh, the way you go at it with whiskey, women and poker!
It's a sucker's game!
Brett Wade: I always thought the game would end with one well-placed
bullet.
Doc Jameson: Well, it still might... there are plenty of shooting
days until Christmas.
Brett Wade: Allow me to introduce myself.
Rannah Hayes: I know who you are.
Brett Wade: By reputation?
Rannah Hayes: No, by your notoriety.
Sheriff Cauthen: If you're in town by sundown tomorrow, I'm going to
throw you in jail.
Jimmy Rapp: On what charge?
Sheriff Cauthen: Disturbin' my peace of mind.
Sheriff Cauthen: Tell you what I'm gonna do, Wade. The minute I get
you on the train, I'm going home to finish a quart of bourbon and
go to bed. But until then I'm go to stay awake, sober... and
nervous.
Sheriff Cauthen: Let's have your gun.
Jimmy Rapp: I'm naked without it!
Sheriff Cauthen: It's all right. I won't arrest you for being naked.
Brett Wade: I was just listing my friends.
Sheriff Cauthen: What about your enemies?
Brett Wade: All my friends are my enemies. I hate 'em because I have
to leave 'em.
Sheriff Cauthen: Yeah, that's the part I like best. You leaving.
Brett Wade: What's your destination, Miss Hayes?
Rannah Hayes: Socorro.
Brett Wade: What's your destiny? Marriage?
Rannah Hayes: Yes.
Brett Wade: It's not the answer I was hoping for.
Rannah Hayes: Don't you believe in marriage?
Brett Wade: I once had many beliefs. One of them was marriage.
Brett Wade: Look, Mr. Braden, I don't like the place you run in
Socorro. Your cards are marked, your dice are loaded and your
whiskey is watered.
Rannah Hayes: Well, just exactly does my job call for?
Dick Braden: See that my patrons spend more money at the bar and lose
more money at the table than they had intended to. You'll do this
by treating every patron as if he were handsome and entertaining,
and by regarding yourself as beautiful, desirable and approachable.
264662a268683,268685
Randolph: [giving Stokes the gift bag back] You know what to do with
the hand lotion, you jerkoff.
264827c268850
Porky Watkins: Er, tell me, Holmes - at what school did you learn to
264832a268856,268866
Dorlock Holmes: I may be down, but the jig is up.
Dorlock Holmes: Watkins, in a moment there'll be a knock at the door
heralding the start of the case of the Shropshire Slasher. Answer
it. My pants are caught in a nail.
Porky Watkins: Name? Speak up, old boy.
Shropshire Slasher: Shropshire Slasher.
Porky Watkins: Occupation?
Shropshire Slasher: Shropshire Slasher.
265788,265792c269822,269824
Lenina Huxley: [sotto voce] Sanctimonious asshole.
Moral Statute Machine: Lenina Huxley, you are fined one-half credit
for a sotto voce violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.
265805c269837
Simon Phoenix: Yeah, right.
265832c269864
Boggle Guard: Mellow greetings, sir. What seems to be your boggle?
265851,265852c269883,269884
Troubled Guy: I don't know... lately I just don't feel like there's
anything special about me.
265924c269956
Squad Leader: Simon Phoenix! Lie down with your hands behind your
265931c269963
Squad Leader: Maniac is responding with a scornful remark.
265939c269971
John Spartan: You should've stayed there.
265971a270004,270006
Edgar Friendly: All I wanna do in bury Cocteau up to his neck in
shit, and let him think happy-happy thoughts forever.
267344a271380,271382
Antoine Laconte: Don't answer my phone or do not drive my car or else
I will kill you!
267870a271909,271913
# Dhanwaan (1993)
Imli: Ek hi gosla do diloh ka, agar ho jaye to... One nest for two
hearts, if possible...
270252a274296,274299
Harry Callahan: There must be something you can get him on.
Appellate Court Judge Bannerman: Without the evidence of the gun and
the girl, I couldn't convict him of spitting on the sidewalk.
270324c274371
Mitch: Oh, that famous guy said it. What was his name?... Jesus!
270328c274375
[Sam & Mitch find out they're half-brothers]
270400c274447
cigarette, exposing his scarred nose] YOU BASTARD!
270431c274478
Sex With Each Other" to get revenge against Mr. Hamilton]
270434c274481
[Sam discretely looks at the screen]
270439a274487,274495
A.D.: Give me your milk money!
Mitch: Well, I can't do that, 'cause I don't think your gonna buy
milk with it.
Frat Guy: [sarcastically] It was pretty funny setting the cops after
us wasn't it?
Mitch: Well, I found it funny, but I don't see how you could've found
it funny because you had your asses kicked.
270471a274528,274529
Meredith Johnson: Let's get down to business.
272853a276912,276916
Shannon: [to the other mercenaries] Remember; you have to make it
home to get paid.
Shannon: In my jungle, you'd be just another asshole.
273201a277265,277271
Don Juan: There are those that do not believe that a single soul born
in heaven can split into twin spirits and shoot like falling stars
to earth where over oceans and continents their magnetic forces
will finally unite them back into one. How else do you explain love
at first sight. We were convinced that there was no other life
beneath the sky but ours. We believed that we would never die.
273928,273929c277998,277999
flooded, and there's feces everywhere!
Middlesex Student 2: What are feces?
273932a278003,278005
[first lines]
Elizabeth: I'm voting for Dukakis.
276293a280367,280378
Connie Swail: [commenting on Streebeck's gun to Friday] Why is his so
much bigger than yours?
Joe Friday: I've never needed more, ma'am.
Pep Streebeck: Hey partner. I tried to call you up til midnight. I
didn't know the Christian Science reading rooms stayed open so
late.
Joe Friday: Not that it's any of your business, but I spend the
evening in the company of Connie Swail.
Pep Streebeck: Don't you mean "the Virgin Connie Swail"? [Friday
looks at Streebeck as the Dragnet theme starts] Wait a minute!
276334a280420,280422
#13: 13. That's your unlucky number. And I'm not talking about silly
superstition; I'm talking about yours truly.
279346,279349d283433
279384a283469,283480
Harry Dunne: Where's the booze?
Lloyd Christmas: I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized
cart. I didn't even see it coming.
Harry Dunne: Oh, no, no.
Lloyd Christmas: Come on, Harry.
Harry Dunne: It gets worse. My parakeet, Petey.
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah?
Harry Dunne: He's dead.
Lloyd Christmas: Oh, man, I'm sorry. What happened?
Harry Dunne: His head fell off.
Lloyd Christmas: His head fell off?
Harry Dunne: Yeah. He was pretty old.
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# Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003)
280878a284964,284968
Dolores Fuller: [arriving for her scenes in "Bride of the Monster"]
Well, I see the usual cast of fags, losers, and drug addicts are
here.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Quiet! Bela might hear you!
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Girl in Cafeteria: What are you writing?
Alex: Uh, this? It's my plan.
Girl in Cafeteria: For what?
Alex: Oh, you'll see.
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Thomas Wyatt and others against her sovereign majesty. I have been
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Sir Francis Walsingham: Madam, if I may. A prince should never flinch
from being blamed for acts of ruthlessness which are necessary for
safe guarding the state and their own person. You must take these
things so much to heart that you do not fear to strike. Even the
very nearest that you have if they be implicated.
Elizabeth: I do not like wars. They have uncertain consequences.
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Rabbit: What are you doing, taking pictures? [Elmer nods his head]
Rabbit: Nice hobby. What are you taking pictures of?
Elmer Fudd: A wabbit.
Rabbit: [Looks over Elmer's shoulder] What rabbit?
Elmer Fudd: Why, that little gway wabbit over... over... there.
[Grabs the rabbit up to his face]
Rabbit: Please, sir! Gosh, I don't even know the guy!
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# Emmanuelle: First Contact (2000) (V)
Captain Haffron Williams: You have shown me the meaning of the word
"arouse".
Dirk: Welcome to the Pleasure Palace!
Alien: I cannot, Emmanuelle, I feel a need to seek beyond.
Alien: Arousal by images - I have experienced it.
The Abbot: We need a pair to radiate the purest tantric energy.
Emmanuelle: Gypsy men fascinate me.
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Kronk's Shoulder Devil: She's goin' down!
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Now, now. Remember guys; "From above, the
wicked shall recieve their just reward".
Kronk's Shoulder Devil, Kronk's Shoulder Angel, Kronk: [looking up at
the chandelier which is illuminated with heavenly light while
angelic music plays] That'll work.
Kuzko: We're not getting anywhere with you picking the vials! I'm
picking the next one!
Pacha: Ok...
Kuzko: Gimme that! [drinks a potion and turns into a whale] Don't you
say a word.
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# Enemy Gold (1993)
Becky Midnite: You've got to stop thinking of me as just another
pretty face.
Santiago: Jewel Panther! You are as beautiful as you are deadly!
Jewel Panther: And when we find them, we can hunt them down like
small animals, and no one will be able to hear their cries of pain
and despair.
Thug #1: You better be nice to me or I'll tell Uncle Jessie what you
did to that chicken last night.
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Lee: "We", Mr. Braithwaite?
Braithwaite: [on the phone] Hello, I need to speak to your colonel
immediately. I don't care if he is asleep; go get him! What? I
don't care if he's not alone!
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Mary: What... what'll you do?
John Preston: ...I don't know.
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Father: Mankind united with infinitely greater purpose in pursuit of
war than he ever did in pursuit of peace.
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# Erotic Survivor (2001)
[on being stuck with a band of male losers]
Mary Whitehead: They all bring me down in their own way.
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Clementine: But you will! But you will, and i'll get bored with you
and feel trapped, because that's what happens with me.
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Marcus: At least this is better than my last job, changing those
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Marcus: I could go buy something at the store - those people *have*
to talk to you.
Marcus: I wish I could safely pull out my heart and massage it
Marcus: This is kind of expensive, but it'll be worth it to go out on
a date.
Marcus: I should eat at home and save my money for call girls.
Marcus: Can I feel those?
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Mirror Ash: You're Good Ash, I'm Bad Ash! Good Ash, Bad Ash! [doing a
little jig] Goody goody two shoes, goody goody two shoes, goody ...
Ash: [sticks a shotgun under Bad Ash's nose and unloads in his face]
Good... Bad... I'm the guy with the gun.
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Cheryl: [possessed] Soon all of you will be like me... And then who
will lock you up in a cellar? [cackles]
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throw her legs in the air higher than any of us... and wider.
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Poirot: [entering the office] Poirot, madame, Poirot... pucker your
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Christine Redfern: I'm better now, in fact I'm determined to enjoy
myself. It's so blissful here, so traquil, so far from all violence
and trouble.
Poirot: Yes you are right madame, the sky is blue the sun is shining,
and yet you forget that everywhere there is evil under the sun.
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Arthur: [Arthur is dying] Perceval, take Excalibur. Find a quiet body
of water and throw it as far as you can. Return and tell me what
you have seen.
Arthur: [Perceval returns] Tell me, what did you see?
Perceval: Nothing. My lord, I couldn't do it! Excalibur must not be
lost!
Arthur: You must do it, Perceval. Someday, when the time has come,
Excalibur will return.
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with us! He'll never get away! His pain won't end! [Abruptly calm
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The Gemini Killer: I kill at random... no motive... that's the fun.
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Burke Dennings: Tell me, was it public relations you did for the
Gestapo or community relations?
Karl: I'm Swiss!
Burke Dennings: Oh, of course. And you never went bowling with
Goebels before either, I suppose? Nazi bastard.
# Expert, The (1995)
Martin Kagan: Life is good - love is better.
Dr. Alice Barnes: My father treated prisoners like animals.
Warden Munsey: We all have a dark place, and I don't like to visit
mine, but I will if I have to.
John Lomax: It's never gonna be over for me.
Snake: Splatter that son of a bitch!
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# Eyes of the Serpent (1994)
Raven: I was always jealous of your ruby red lips when we were
children.
Raven: Perhaps you've been dipping your quill in the wrong inkwell.
Galen: My sword can serve you even if my heart serves your daughter.
Galen: Well, well, well, a man wearing a metal pig face.
[after listening to a tragic tale of shame, guilt and murder]
Fiona: Well, we all make mistakes.
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Amarao: Look at that! Medical Mecannica's transporting these
monstrosities here to destroy this planet! Ohhh, it's all over.
Don't you see what's happening here?
Haruko: [picking her nose, nonchalantly] You're such a drama queen,
figure it out.
Amarao: You're the one who caused all this.
Haruko: I don't CARE, you got it?
Amarao: Your guitar's not up to it. That's it.
Haruko: YOU are a million years under-evolved, primitive monkey!
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Kamon Nandaba: [pause]
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Haruko: [protecting Kitsurubami from shooting at Canti] CYBORG, MY
BUTT!
Amarao: [to Haruko] This is insane! You're doing exactly what Medical
Meccanica wants! They're flattening planets all over the galaxy...
smoothing out the wrinkles so you can't think! Even the Pirate King
has been captured! They're using him to lure you in! It's over!
IT'S ALL OVER!
Haruko: I said I don't CARE about any of that. I just want Atomsk,
that's all. I don't care what happens to this planet. They'll have
to learn to 'think smooth', I guess!
Amarao: [Naota has just emerged from Canti's head, glowing bright
red] The kid? Did he do it? HE GOT THE POWERS OF THE PIRATE KING!
ATOMSK!
Haruko: [suddenly enraged, gritting her teeth] Tak-kun, you can't DO
THAT! That power's MINE!
Amarao: She's just as bad as Medical Meccanica! You're not going to
get what you want from her! FIGHT BACK, TAKE HER OUT!
Naota: [Naota 'lets go' of his powers as the Pirate King just in time
not to hurt Haruko, to Haruko:] I love you.
Haruko: I lost him again because of you, Tak-kun, we couldn't pull it
off. You wanna come along? [pauses] 'Know what? Forget it. 'Cuase
you're still a kid, Tak-kun. Save it for next time.
[Mamimi is scared and calling for Naota's brother, over and over]
Naota: Don't call my brother! I'm the one whose here! Hey, look at
me! I'm the one whose gonna save you! Canti! [Canti comes down out
of the sky] Now listen, my name is Naota. Don't EVER call me
Tak-kun again!
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Mrs. Jessica Brummel: [regarding the aliens] You don't know what's
going on. They want everyone!
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Ilya Kazak: [after Juantorena failed to kill Kate with the home
explosion] I'm getting most annoyed by your petty incompetence.
Emilio Juantorena: Hey, you seem to forget you tap phones for a
living, I tap banks! [Kazak cocks his .45] If it wasn't for me
you'd be stuck in Havana pulling bananas out of your ass!
Emilio Juantorena: [realizes a gun is pointed at his head] Oh, what.
You're going to shoot me.
Ilya Kazak: Yes. [shoots him]
Ilya Kazak: You! You know how to use a computer as well as him.
Zhukov: DA!
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Antoinette: You ate the "ony"!
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Raoul Duke: We're going to be killed for fuck's sake.
293445a297739,297750
# Femme Fontaine: Killer Babe for the C.I.A. (1994)
Master Sun: What path do you choose?
Mercedes Lee: Who would kill a bunch of innocent monks?
Drew Fontaine: That'll teach you to blow in my ear!
Drew Fontaine: It ain't over till the fat man sings.
Drew Fontaine: Hello, Mar - or is it Heinz Muller, Nazi Scum?
293784c298089,298094
Devil-master: You irreverent bitch! You pious slut!
[examining a huge pentagram]
Sandy: It's a satanic sign of evil.
Devil-master: Take her to the sacrificial pentagram!
296741a301052,301056
Tidus: You know, you've changed.
Yuna: Well, you missed a few things.
Tidus: I wanna hear everything!
Yuna: Well... It all began when I saw this sphere of you.
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# Final Play, The (2002)
Det. Darryl Johnson: I just don't understand why I would kill my
wife.
[Director throws script at Darryl]
Play Director: Because it's in the damn script, that's why!
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Dory: I suffer from short term memory loss. It runs in my family...
At least I think it does... Where are they?
297762a302088,302097
# Fire in the Sky (1993)
Mike Rogers: You think I'm gonna let a flake like you marry my
sister? You're a *dreamer*.
David Whitlock: Forgive us, Father, for what we've done.
Allan Dallis: I told you chuckleheads that story was never gonna
work.
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# Firepower (1993)
Braniff: I'm going into The Zone to get Drexal.
Drexal: Lovely Lisa will be the stakes.
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# Fist of Honor (1993)
Detective Johnson: You broke the truce in the worst way - I need a
body.
# Fit to Kill (1993)
Donna Hamilton: Kane! That bastard tried to have us killed!
Blu Steele: Captain Burke, you naughty nautical boy!
301205a305558,305569
# Food of the Gods II (1989)
Joshua: This is the food of the gods! We're talking the end of world
hunger here!
Lt. Wetzel: All I see is a dead kid without a face.
Alex Reed: Who asked you to play God with those animals?
Dean White: This is just a car accident.
Neil Hamilton: Since when do cars eat your liver?
303895a308260,308266
# Frankenhooker (1990)
Jeffrey Franken: Medical schools upset me, mother - I'm anti-social -
I'm becoming dangerously amoral.
Zorro: My women just blew up on me.
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Annabell (as Tess): Honey, look I think something's happened to us.
Tess (as Annabell): What are you?
Annabell (as Tess): It's me, Mom.
Tess (as Annabell): You're not my mother!
Annabell (as Tess): Yes, I am.
Tess (as Annabell): Get away, you clone freak!
Annabell (as Tess): Don't you use that tone with me!
Tess (as Annabell): Oh my God, you are my mother!
304349a308730,308752
Annabell (as Tess): And what are you doing with this [french fries]
Tess (as Annabell): I'm eating.
Annabell (as Tess): You cannot eat fast food.
Tess (as Annabell): Why not?
Annabell (as Tess): Because it will go down your throat and drop
instantly to my thighs!
Dottie Robertson: Loved your book, I actually read this one.
Tess (as Annabell): That makes one of us.
Annabell (as Tess): She is dead, worse than dead. She will spend the
next year in a phoneless, dateless, Amish existence!
Tess (as Annabell): So, let's do this thingy.
Ryan: You mean our wedding rehearsal?
Tess (as Annabell): Yeah, whatever.
Ryan: You know what, I'm not really a prying kind of guy, but just
for the heck of it, I'm just wondering what you were doing on the
eve of our wedding straddling some guy on the back of a big black
Harley?
Tess (as Annabell): Hello, it was a Ducati!
305580a309984,310096
Fresh: Keep watch, nigger. Yell if you see someone.
Chuckie: "Yell, nigger"? I'll smoke they-ass!
Corky: [on the phone with Hector] He told you that... and you gave it
to him? No, no, no, I ain't mad. You just one stupid motherfucker
and you ain't never gonna see a goddamn cent of my business, but I
ain't mad. Yo, get fucked Hector!
Darryl: James be running smack, Corky. He an H boy, it ain't our
problem.
Corky: Nigger cut into my part, know that shit is mine, then turn
around and sell it without cutting me in? That shit is my problem!
I'm gonna pay my problem a visit and solve it.
Esteban: Where'd you come to find out about all these interesting
developments? [no response] Look, time is money and money is time
little homie, and right now you are costing me a lot of both.
Fresh: You gonna get mad.
Esteban: Look, it would be very difficult to get me any madder than I
am already.
[shooting in the store, Fresh and Herbie are waiting outside in the
car]
Herbie: It's over right, shit, it's done right?
Fresh: Look done to me.
Jake: [shooting people at the playground, everybody starts running]
Yeah, go ahead run motherfuckers, *run*! You punk pussy-ass
motherfuckers. That's right, go tell somebody you saw something,
I'll come back for all you monkey motherfuckers! You pussy-ass
punks!
Sam: Last game here I'm playing myself.
Fresh: You're losing to yourself.
Sam: Yeah, life's a bitch like that.
Fresh: [to Chuckie] Goddamn, you must be the stupidest nigger I know.
I don't know how you be tying your own goddamn shoelaces, as stupid
as you is!
Fresh: I ain't run no base for no Esteban.
Corky: Oh no? Who was it for then, Santa Claus? [slaps Fresh] Who was
it for?
Fresh: He gonna kill me if I say.
Corky: [Drops Fresh on the floor] I'm gonna ice you right now if you
don't!
Esteban: [after coming back from killing James] So you gonna tell me
that he's lying about James too, right?
Nichole: I can see whoever I want.
Esteban: No. Not exactly. Now you can see whoever you want, except
for James. You can't see... you can't see him no more. Now maybe
you can visit him in his new place of residence, but you know, I
don't think he's going to be so much fun anymore.
Esteban: [getting arrested after the cops found drugs under his
mattress] You think I'm stupid enough to have two kilos lying
around the fuckin' house? I've been set up, man!
Corky: [to Fresh] Only reason you ain't the man is you still too
goddamn little, but, when you get bigger, you gonna be the man.
Jake: [to Red, about some guy who owes him 50 dollars] I'ma grease
that motherfucker like Sunday bacon, you hear me motherfucker? I'ma
go drop that motherfucker! I'ma *drop* him, man! I'ma go *drop*
him!
James: You Michael, huh? I guess you used up all the ugly in the
family.
Fresh: Why you don't go to Esteban then?
Nichole: I don't like the way he looks at me. I don't need no spic
pimp motherfucker looking at me like no fuckin' queen. I'm just a
sorry-ass nigger whore.
[Chillie counting packs of drugs, Fresh is in a hurry]
Fresh: I gotta get to school, Chillie, I'm stupid late. It's gonna be
my second late day this week. Miss Coleman is gonna kill me.
Chillie: Don't worry, I'll write you a doctor's note.
Jake: Kermit ain't showed up yet.
Red: Yo man, let me tell you, that nigger set his watch for
yesterday, the motherfucker still gonna be late.
Fresh: Don't Aunt Frances think you ain't nothing. She think you're
something.
Nichole: Aunt Frances is a fuckin' saint. Aunt Frances loves every
damn dog on the street the same as she loves me. Ain't no shit to
be loved by a fuckin' saint.
[playing cards, Corky turns to talk to Fresh, Darryl draws a card]
Corky: What the fuck are you doing?
Darryl: I was picking up.
Corky: Don't do shit behind my back. Why the fuck you gonna be doing
that?
Darryl: Corky man, it was my turn, man, we just playing, it's just
me, baby.
Corky: I don't give a fuck who you're with, be my mother,
motherfucker, I don't play that shit!
Darryl: Sorry, alright?
Corky: Yeah, yeah, you be sorry. You do that shit, just do it in
front of my face. [pause] Now, am I free to finish my little
transaction here without every nigger be doing some shit behind my
back?
James: [to Fresh] You the little man running the street? Shit... Next
thing I know niggers in diapers packing tec-9 and be trying to take
over my business.
Fresh: Mate in four.
Chess Opponent: Fuck you. Ain't no mate in no four. Fuck you.
Fresh: Would have been four if you were smart. Mate.
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[after finding the dead bodies of some of the crew]
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I'M in charge here!
Julius: School... IS OUT, McCulloch! Okay?
306160c310676
Julius: ...But this gun.
306173a310690,310694
Tamara Mason: Julius is the only senior I would even consider doing
it with.
McCulloch: Walking corpses are not real.
306440a310962,310976
# Friend of the Family (1995)
Linda Williams Stillman: My house! My rules!
Montana Stillman: You're just a second wife, Linda, a second-rate
wife!
Elke Taylor: It's your body - you can do whatever you want with it.
Josh Stillman: I love my filmmaking - it's all I ever think about.
Jeff Stillman: You've been filling everyone with delusions.
Laura Kellogg: Take my dress off!
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# Fright House (1988) (V)
Dr. Victoria Sedgewick: Intruders! They have defiled the ceremony!
Detective Les Morane: You? You're the head of all this? This
murderous pack of scumbags?
308715a313259,313278
# Future Kick (1991)
Nancy: I hate it when you go to Earth.
Howard: The lower I go the more exciting it gets.
Walker: The only thing you get from feelings is dead.
[after strapping a woman to a table]
Hynes: There are only two things I'm gonna take - your body and your
soul.
# Future Shock (1993/I)
Welles: You can't choose your own death - death chooses you.
Lou Forest: Death is just another part of life.
Jenny Porter: My mind turned Sparky into a pack of wolves?
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Master Chief John Urgayle: [quoting "Self-Pity" by D.H. Lawrence] I
never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen
dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.
308862,308863c313425,313426
[after O'Neill saves his life in combat]
Master Chief John Urgayle: I'll never live this one down.
308871a313435,313451
C.O. Salem: Did you just have a brain fart, Lieutenant? When people
do what you just did, I call it a bona fide brain fart, and I
resent it when people fart inside my office!
Lt. Jordan O'Neil: I think you've resented me from the start, sir.
C.O. Salem: What I resent, is some politician using my base as a test
tube for her grand social experiment. What I resent, is the ob-gyn
I now have to keep on staff to keep track of your personal pap
smears. What I resent, is the sensitivity training that is now
mandatory for all of my officers. But what I resent most of all, is
the your perfume, however subtle, interfering with the scent of my
fine three-dollar-and-seventy-nine-cent cigar, which I will put out
this instant if the phallic shape of it offends your goddamn
fragile sensibilities!
Lt. Jordan O'Neil: No, sir.
C.O. Salem: "No, sir" what?
Lt. Jordan O'Neil: The shape doesn't bother me. Just the goddamn
sweet smell.
308877c313457,313458
Lt. Blondell: The same thing: "'Cause I get to blow shit up."
Lt. Jordan O'Neil: Well, there you go.
308879c313460
Master Chief John Urgayle: The ebb and flow of the Atlantic tides,
308892a313474,313481
C.O. Salem: [after Jordan demands that he remove the dual standard]
One standard.
Lt. Jordan O'Neil: Just treat me the same as everyone else, sir. No
better, no worse.
C.O. Salem: Lieutenant, you're gonna get everything you want. I just
wonder if you want what you're gonna get.
Lt. Jordan O'Neil: Hoo-yah, sir.
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Golobulus of Cobra LA: The Last thing you will hear... is the
cracking of your vertebrae... one... BY ONE!
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Cobra Commander: Fool! You haven't got the B.E.T.! You don't even
know where it is! Your plan is laughable!
Golobulus of Cobra LA: But your punishment will not be.
Cobra Commander: Punishment? What about my trial?
Golobulus of Cobra LA: It's over!... and the verdict is guilty...
guilty of the one unforgiveable crime... Failure!
309048a313638,313656
Sgt. Slaughter: At ease Renegades! We're going to infiltrate Cobra's
armory and destroy it.
Lt. Falcon: Infiltrate their armory uh? Why don't we go without
weapons and make it REALLY interesting.
[Red Dog, Mercer and Taurus growl at Falcon.]
Cobra Commander: No! Not the spores! No! NOOOOOO!
Duke: I want you guys to infiltrate Cobra's artillery and destroy it.
By the way. How's he doing?
Sgt. Slaughter: I think the kid's got a lot of potential. I won't
tell him you asked.
Beach-head: What is he doing? Get rid of that thing. [Beach-Head
throws the explosive device away on to be horrified that Order has
retrieved it and given it back to him.]
Law: Order! Give it here. I'm sorry sir. He's usually very obedient.
Beach-head: Yeah well just get rid of that thing.
310122a314731,314764
Garfield: Mai-Tai, this is insane!
Mai-Tai: Tell her that!
Jon Arbuckle: Why can't I get any respect, Garfield?
Garfield: When you travel you must pay for respect, my friend
Jon Arbuckle: Hello, Paradise World! Just smell that fresh air,
Garfield.
Garfield: That's jet fuel, you dummy!
Jon Arbuckle: Well, the next item of business is to get our luggage.
[The boy's luggage is thrown out of the plane, landing next to
Garfield]
Jon Arbuckle: Hey That's service for you!
Garfield: Jon, you'd look on the bright side of a train wreck! That
was no service! That was assault and battery on our suitcases! I
never should have packed my crystal mouse collection!
[Odie has stowed away in Jon's suitcase]
Garfield: Well, this is just ducky. One minute I'm sitting happily at
home minding my own business, and the next thing I know, I'm
travelling third class with a fourth class owner to a fifth class
motel to sleep with a sixth class mutt!
Jon Arbuckle: This vacation isn't working out exactly the way I hoped
it would.
Garfield: A masterfully understated observation, especially when you
consider it's coming from a total idiot!
[The boys decide to visit the local car rental shop]
Hotel Clerk: Yeeeeeeeess
Jon Arbuckle: You look familiar.
Hotel Clerk: I have a brother in the motel business.
Garfield: Racket is more like it!
310133a314776,314786
# Garfield's Babes and Bullets (1989) (TV)
[Garfield, A.K.A. Spayed, arrives at the morgue to find Lt.
Washington waiting at the door]
Lt. Washington: Checking up on a client, Spayed?
Garfield: Yeah, he's the one your blue boys shot in the back for
jaywalking!
Lt. Washington: Watch it, Spayed! I still have your license under
investigation!
Garfield: Good! That means it's safe for a while!
310561,310562c315214,315215
Now they're a little less smug and a little less shiny... and I
think that's pretty cool, don't you?
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Brenner: Good.
310582,310583c315235,315236
Brenner: I was too busy killing someone else. I didn't have time to
kill two people.
310587,310588c315240,315242
Paul Brenner: Did you know that condoms are back in fashion again,
because of disease? These days, you have to boil somebody before
you can sleep with them.
310613c315267
Colonel Robert Moore: When did the... event... take place?
310634a315289,315305
# Generation Ax (1998)
Desk Cop: What kind of sick pervert are you?
Trix Beasley: If you're not a cheerleader, then you're no one!
[dying words]
Trix Beasley: But I'm Miss Junior Beauty Queen Petite!
Todd Major: I actually enjoy a little violence now and then.
[on being accepted to the Valley Beavers cheerleading team]
Leslie Gordon: I'm a Beaver now!
Ticket Worker: What kind of a monster would snatch these two young
Beavers?
311279a315951
Ape: I'm happy to see you too. What are you doing here?
311281a315954,315961
Ape: Broke? It's all a big misunderstanding. I'm perfectly fine.
That's why I'm... giving away all my furniture.
George: George happy Ape perfectly fine. Only wish George perfectly
fine.
Ape: What's the matter?
George: Ursula think George spend too much time with animals. Animals
think George spend too much time with Ursula. George so upset,
think about taking off neck crown.
311735c316415
Doreen Carter: Have you ever been to prison? [Jack doesn't respond]
311752c316432
Doreen Carter: Yeah... I smoke too.
311755c316435
Jack Carter: I quit... recently.
311762a316443,316460
Jeremy Kinnear: [stops his golf cart and starts to talk to Jack
Carter] You know why I like golf, Mr. Carter? [pause] Cause the
ball just keeps going away. [pause] Only sport where you hit that
little suck and it doesn't come back actually. [pause] I gonna
wanna go after and get it. I wanna get to it. I just knock it away
again. [laughs] You see what I'm saying, Mr. Carter? [pause] Once I
get rid of it, [pause] I never wanna see it again.
Con McCarty: [to Jack Carter on the phone] Oh, you simple bitch, I'm
covering your ass. Do you hear me? I'm covering your ass.
Jack Carter: You better cover your own ass.
Jeremy Kinnear: Please slow down, you gonna kill us.
Jack Carter: That's the point, Jeremy.
Jeremy Kinnear: OK. OK, you want money? You want money, just name
your price. I have more money than God.
Jack Carter: You need a drink.
311945c316643
Steven Carter: Uh, Yeah..."Sad Bastard"
311952a316651,316659
[first lines]
Steven Carter: I came late to sex. I was nearly ten. That's when my
friend Mark Watkins told me how babies were made.
Young Steve: Really? Are you sure?
Young Mark: Yeah. Honest. I saw it on one of my dad's videos.
Steven Carter: For over a year after that I thought babies were made
when two women tied a man to a bed and covered his willy with ice
cream.
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# Ghosts Can't Do It (1990)
Katie O'Dare Scott: My dead husband wants to possess your body.
Angel: There's no way out of eternity. You're stuck with it.
314407a319121,319129
Dr. Jenny Langer: [breathless and howling like a banshee] VAAANCE!
VANCE!
Dr. J.R. Vance: What happened?
Dr. Jenny Langer: Spiders came out of the briefcase! They're coming
from the geodes!
Dr. J.R. Vance: The WHAT?
Dr. Jenny Langer: Gee-ODES!
Dr. J.R. Vance: Gimmie that!
314886c319608
Brigitte: I...
314888c319610
Brigitte: I just...
314899c319621
Ghost: If you weren't bit, then...
314917c319639
you, and it's not in his nature to kill, and he secretly wants...
314949a319672,319673
Ghost: When you close your eyes, do you see hell?
315477a320202,320205
# Girl, Three Guys, and a Gun, A (2001)
Dave: You took me hostage with a BB gun?
315547a320276,320282
# Girlfriend from Hell (1990)
Maggie: Well, I suppose I should go hunt them down one by one and
kill them - God, this is getting so boring!
Chaser: She's the *devil* - it doesn't count.
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I'm-a gonna die... "
317205a321941,321942
Don Corleone: Look how they messed with my boy.
317621c322358
everywhere. Now too, if I am permitted, the man who makes ME your
318058a322796,322801
# Going Down (2003/I)
Travis: Smoke that train.
Travis: I'll kiss yours if you kiss mine.
318734,318735c323477,323478
those regimes, only to come home: "Well done, good job, but sorry,
old boy, everything you risked your life and limb for has changed."
320106,320107c324849,324850
Babe Doolittle: Gee, the old place hasn't changed much. I wonder if
McKinley's still president?
320112a324856,324858
Connie Lane: [as Pat McClellan is admiring herself in the mirror]
Gee, I wish someone loved me like you love you!
321252a325999,326016
# Goodnight, Sweet Marilyn (1989)
Gladys Baker: The tomcats are after you! That's how it is, baby!
Ralph Johnson: She had kind of a *homey* quality.
Medical Doctor: You know, when we're through here, drowning might be
an option.
Psychiatrist: You always relied on the kindness of powerful men,
*didn't* you?
Norma Jean Baker: Maybe I don't have much to offer, but I've got
something, and it's something men want, and I'm willing to give it
to them, as long as they give me what I want.
Marilyn Monroe: Do they have cameras in heaven?
321426a326191,326194
Powerline: [singing] If we listen to each other's heart We'll find
we're never too far apart, And maybe love is the reason why. For
the first time ever, we're seeing it eye to eye.
321685a326454,326461
# Gorotica (1993)
Carrie: Death is a funny thing, but nobody's ever laughing.
Carrie: I've never had one this fresh before.
Neil: Look, he's my friend, and I say we cut him up.
323523a328300,328306
# Graveyard Shift (1990)
[Tucker reports on the huge rat holes he's seen]
Tucker Cleveland: I don't mind telling you, this place is infested.
Nordello: This'll teach you to FIRE ME!
326257a331041,331043
Victim: Whatever I'm doing you don't like... I'll stop doing it.
Marty: It's not me.
326392c331178,331185
didn't see you anymore. [We hear a car pulling in] They're right
behind us. So I was in the Gulf last year, I was doing this thing
anyway. And I came up over this dune, and I saw the ocean... and it
was on fire. The whole thing, on fire, and it was beautiful. So I
just sat there and watched it, and that's when I realized there
might be a meaning to life, you know, like an organic power that
connects all living things, God, Jahwe, I dunno. [Marty shoots two
rounds through the door, taking out the thug behind it]
326483a331277,331287
Mr. Grocer: Look at that! Empty!
Mr. Grocer: [Marty and Grocer are shooting eachother] Comrade!
Comrade!
Marty: What?
Mr. Grocer: Why don't you just join the union, we'll go upstairs
together and cap daddy!
Marty: This union, there's gonna be meetings?
Mr. Grocer: Of course!
Marty: No meetings. [They continue shooting]
327304a332109,332118
# Guns (1990)
Cash: Let ME kill for you.
[after her daughter blows away a bad guy with a rocket]
Kathryn Hamilton: How did you learn to shoot like that?
[after destroying the bad guys with her arsenal of weaponry]
Donna Hamilton: That's it for me! I'm hitting the shower!
327672a332487,332503
# Gypsy Angels (1980)
Ted: Being scared is part of the job.
Ted: If you wanna sail big ships, you gotta go where the water's
deep.
Mickey: Love me, please, love me!
Mickey: He lied to me! Jeff promised that he'd always be with me!
Mickey: Let me tell you one thing, mister. I am one fine stripper,
real kinky. You know what I mean? You betcha!
Mickey: No more G-strings. No more smoky rooms, and potheads, and
hookers, and those old terrible men, and the tassels.
327831a332663,332671
Ryan Dunn: That's a nice tattoo there. What does that mean?
Girl at Coffee Shop: It means desire.
Ryan Dunn: Desire huh? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Does
that mean you're into dudes with fuckin' long hair, smell like beer
and have shitty tattoos; maybe they hang out at the bowling alley!
Maybe, just maybe you'll go out back and rub their sick crotch.
He'll stick his hands down your pants. Meanwhile, your boyfriend is
sitting at home jerkin off to fuckin' gay porn!
328290a333131,333135
[Kipps has recieved a letter from Ann]
Pearce: Who's that from, as if we didn't know!
Flo: Does that girl ever run out of ink?
Kipps: No, she never lets me down!
329626c334471
[After learning Mickey is infertile]
329653a334499,334501
Holly: Don't you just love songs about extra-terrestrial life?
Mickey: Not when they're sung by extra-terrestrial life.
331241,331244c336089,336091
Maude: Oh, Big Issues. Liberty. Rights. Justice. Kings died, kingdoms
fell. I don't regret the kingdom - what sense in borders and
nations and patriotism? But I miss the kings.
331246c336093,336094
Maude: I should like to change into a sunflower most of all. They're
so tall and simple. What flower would you like to be?
331250,331252c336098,336100
Maude: Oooh, but they're *not*. Look. See, some are smaller, some are
fatter, some grow to the left, some to the right, some even have
lost some petals. All *kinds* of observable differences. You see,
331254c336102,336103
who are *this*, [she points to a daisy] yet allow themselves be
treated as *that* [she gestures to a field of daisies] .
331256,331260c336105,336106
Harold: I like you, Maude.
Maude: I like you, Harold.
331262c336108,336115
Maude: A lot of people enjoy being dead. But they are not dead,
really. They're just backing away from life. *Reach* out. Take a
*chance*. Get *hurt* even. But play as well as you can. Go team,
go! Give me an L. Give me an I. Give me a V. Give me an E. L-I-V-E.
LIVE! [beat] Otherwise, you got nothing to talk about in the locker
room.
Psychiatrist: Tell me, Harold, how many of these, eh, *suicides* have
331264c336117
Harold: An accurate number would be difficult to gauge.
331266c336119
Harold: A rough estimate? I'd say fifteen.
331270c336123
Harold: No. No, I would not say "benefit."
331272,331273c336125,336129
[sea gulls fly across the sky]
Maude: Dreyfus once wrote from Devil's Island that he would see the
most glorious birds. Many later in Brittany he realized they had
only been sea gulls... For me they will always be - *glorious*
birds.
331280,331281c336136,336145
Harold: Maude.
Maude: Hmm?
Harold: Do you pray?
Maude: Pray? No. I communicate.
Harold: With God?
Maude: With *life*.
Maude: Vice, Virtue. It's best not to be too moral. You cheat
yourself out of too much *life*. Aim above morality. If you apply
that to life, then you're bound to live life fully.
331283,331287c336147,336148
Maude: Harold, *everyone* has the right to make an ass out of
themselves. You just can't let the world judge you too much.
331295c336156
Harold: Pardon me?
331297,331298c336158,336159
Harold: Uh, no.
Maude: Uh, no. I thought not. [laughs]
331300,331304c336161,336167
Harold: You hop in any car you want and just drive off?
Maude: Well, not any car - I like to keep a variety. I'm always
looking for the new experience.
Harold: [smiling] Maybe.
[sobering]
Harold: Nevertheless, I think you're upsetting people. I don't know
if that's right.
331307c336170,336187
today, gone tomorrow, so don't get attached to things.
Maude: [gesturing to a sick tree growing through a sidewalk] Harold,
we have *got* to do something about this life.
Harold: What?
Maude: We'll transplant it. To the forest.
Harold: You can't do that.
Maude: Why not?
Harold: This is public property.
Maude: Well, *exactly*.
Maude: *Don't* get officious. You're not yourself when you're
officious - That is the curse of a government job.
Maude: Grab the shovel, Harold.
[last lines]
Maude: Oh, Harold... That's *wonderful*. Go and love some more.
333201a338082,338085
Mays Gilliam: I asked my niece the other day what 4 plus 4 was. She
said 44.
Crowd Member: It is!
335036a339921,339925
Abe Sapien: If there's trouble, all us freaks have is each other.
Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm: There are things that go bump
in the night. And *we* are the ones who bump back!
335582a340472,340491
# Helter Skelter (2004) (TV)
Charles Manson: How can I be a hippie when I hate hippies?
Charles Manson: This court is out of order.
Charles Manson: They would die for me.
Vincent Bugliosi: Well, they all might get their chance to.
Charles Manson: Do I look like a Chuck?
Susan 'Sadie' Atkins: [of a dead body] Yes, that was the thing I saw.
Charles Manson: Come to now, where suddenly no sense, makes sense.
Charles Manson: The time is now. Helter skelter.
Linda Kasabian: Charlie has a way of taking the truth and making it a
lie.
335597a340507,340518
# Hemp for Victory (1943)
Narrator: For the sailor, no less than the hangman, hemp was
indispensable. A 44-gun frigate like our cherished Old Ironsides
took over 60 tons of hemp for rigging, including an anchor cable 25
inches in circumference. The Conestoga wagons and prairie schooners
of pioneer days were covered with hemp canvas. Indeed the very word
canvas comes from the Arabic word for hemp. In those days hemp was
an important crop in Kentucky and Missouri. Then came cheaper
imported fibers for cordage, like jute, sisal and Manila hemp, and
the culture of hemp in America declined.
336075a340997,341009
Hades: [Anger rising] I'm about to rearrange the cosmos, and the one
*schlemiel* who can louse it up is waltzing around in the woods!
[Meg encounters a rabbit and a chipmunk in the woods]
Meg: Aw, how cute. A couple of rodents looking for a theme park.
Pain: [as rabbit] Who are you calling a rodent, sister? I'm a bunny.
Panic: [as chipmunk] And I'm his go-fer.
Zeus: Whoa! Slow down, son! After all these years, this is how you
greet your father?
Young Hercules: Father?
Zeus: Didn't know you had a famous father, did you? Surprise!
338246a343181,343189
# Hit the Deck (1955)
Chief Boatswain's Mate William F. Clark: Ginger, baby, I worship the
ground you walk on!
Ginger: Now he's talking real estate!
Susan Smith: This morning I had four men fighting over me. Now I've
got nothing.
339278a344222,344223
Smitty: Everything changes, you know that. Nothing stays the same.
342153a347099,347100
Setsuko: Why must fireflies die so young?
343033c347980
was killed here... and whatever got her wasn't human.
343036c347983
Watson Pritchard: They're coming for me now... [looks at camera] and
343038a347986,347990
Dr. David Trent: [Nora has encountered the organ that plays by itself
and runs screaming through the house] Did you hear anything?
Frederick Loren: Organ music?
Dr. David Trent: That... and someone walking.
343978a348931,348932
Em Reed: To hell if I know where love resides.
344443,344445c349397,349399
Darwin Mayflower: Money isn't everything - gold is. Fuck T-bills!
Fuck blue chip stocks! Fuck junk bonds! We've got the real deal!
Money will always be paper, but gold will always be GOLD!
344474a349429,349433
Darwin Mayflower: What can I tell you. I'm the bad guy.
Butterfinger: I'm Butterfingers.
Hudson Hawk: No Shit.
344722a349682,349697
Neeta: Kagaz kalam ganhav la, likh du dil tere naam karu... Bring a
paper, pen, and a witness, so I can write my name to your
possession...
Vijay: Sanam mere sanam kasam teri kasam, tere liye hua janam mera
janam... O my sweetheart, I swear to you, I have been born for
you...
Tiger: Ik dusre se karte hai pyar hai, ik dusre ke liye bekarar
hum... We love one another, we always want to be together...
Tiger: Arrey o Juma meri janeman bahar nikal aaj juma, arey tu bholi
thi pichle jumey ko, chuma doongi aagle jumey ko, aaj juma hai,
Juma chuma de de chuma... Juma you had promised to kiss me next
friday, today is friday, so come on and give me a kiss...
346825c351800
falsetto voice] "Where are you..."
346848a351824,351826
Philip Dulaine: Why do young people waste time fighting? You should
make love when you're young, and fight when you're old.
350207,350211d355184
352984a357958,357960
Prewett: You must take a bite from this apple. If you do not you
shall never know.
354099c359075
Chuck Clarke: (singing) Because of yourself, you don't know what I
354102a359079,359081
Chuck Clarke: [Chuck and Lyle are writing a song] Shit man, when
you're on you're on.
354850c359829
Lenny Pike: All right, we all agree on that.
354864,354865c359843,359844
Lennie Pike: But... this is a little girl's bike. This is for a
little girl.
354887c359866
What is it a staring contest? Come on! [claps his hands over and
354904c359883
movie... I'd believe it!
354924,354925c359903,359904
Ginger Culpeper: I'll try. Just a minute. [to Billie Sue] Talk to
your father.
354962c359941
Benjy Benjamin: Otherwise she won't go. [Bell bumps him] Uh, she'll
355012,355014c359991,359997
Mr. Potter: [to George Bailey] Look at you. You used to be so cocky.
You claimed you were going to go out and conquer the world. You
once called me, "a warped, frustrated, old man!" Who are you but a
warped, frustrated young man, crawling in here on your hands and
knees begging for help. No securities, no stocks, no bonds. Nothin'
but a miserable little $500 equity in a life insurance policy.
You're worth more dead than alive.
357681c362664,362671
Jay: I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this ficking face.
Whenever you see C.L.I.T., you'll see this fucking face. I make
that shit work. It does whatever the fuck I tell it to. No one
rules the C.L.I.T like me. Not this little fuck [referring to
Silent Bob] , none of you little fucks out there. I AM THE C.L.I.T.
COMMANDER! Remember that, commander of all C.L.I.T.s! When it comes
down to business, this is what I do. I pinch it like this. OOH you
little fuck. Then I rub my nose with it.
357719,357720c362709,362710
Holden: No, but it's Miramax. So I'm sure it'll be Ben Affleck and
Matt Damon. They put those guys in a bunch of movies.
357843,357847c362833,362837
Jay: Hey, wait a second! Aren't you the guy who fucked the pie!
Jason Biggs: You see! It's never "Hey! You're that guy from Loser" or
"Hey you rocked in Boys and Girls." No, it always comes back to
that fucking pie! I'm HAUNTED by it!
James Van Der Beek: You put your dick in a pie!
357881,357883c362871,362875
the WB?
Jason Biggs: I'm a teen idol, dammit! Don't you recognize me? Look at
me. I'm the pie fucker.
Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: [to his buddies] Yeah, well.
In prison, he'll be the pie.
358124,358125c363116,363117
Ben Affleck: Hey look, I'm sorry I dragged you away from
whatever-gay-serial-killers-who-ride-horses-and-like-to-play-golf-touchy-feely-picture
358127,358132c363119,363123
Matt Damon: I take it you haven't seen Forces of Nature?
Ben Affleck: You're like a child. What've I been telling you? You
gotta do the safe picture. Then you can do the art picture. But
then sometimes you gotta do the payback picture because your friend
says you owe him.
358134c363125
Ben Affleck: And sometimes, you have to go back to the well.
358136c363127
Ben Affleck: See, that's just mean.
358228c363219,363233
Chaka: Dance pie fucker! Damn, these white boys can't fight.
James Van Der Beek: You actually watch that show?
Jay: Yeah, for Joey, man. She is too fine. Did you ever get to 3rd
base with her?
James Van Der Beek: Well, actually there was this one time...
Willenholly: [while masturbating to donkey / girl porn] Yeah! You
chug that ass cock, baby. I need two hands. You like that, MULE.
Mules are... GOOD!
Hitchhiker: [explaining why he gives head for rides] Have you seen
the price of bus tickets lately. There's no way I'm gonna cough up
200 bucks for a ride to Chicago.
Jay: Yeah, but I don't wanna cough up some dude's sperm.
359031,359033c364036,364040
[last lines]
[about Jesse James]
Major Rufus Cobb: He was one of the doggonedest, gawl-dingedest,
dad-blamedest buckaroos that ever rode across these here United
States of America!
360192a365200,365208
# Jism (2003)
Kabir Lal: Awarapan, bhanjarapan... Listlessly like a gypsy...
Sonia Khanna: Jadu hai nasha hai madhoshiyan... There is magic,
dreamlike fantasy...
Sonia Khanna: Chalo tumko lekar chaley... Come, let me take you...
360361a365378,365379
Joe Dirt: That shit'll buff out.
360884a365903,365905
Danny Vermin: This goes through armor. And through the victim,
through the wall, through a tree outside...
361153a366175,366187
# Jonathan Winters: On the Ledge (1987) (TV)
[to a man wearing dark glasses and a fez]
Himself, Others: Not only are you handicapped through blindness, but
you're a shriner!
[to a passing military parade]
Himself, Others: You gave your lives. How foolish! I kept mine!
Himself, Others: When you wear so many hats in society, you never
know who you are. That's the beauty of it. Because once you find
out who you are, you're screwed.
362109a367144,367146
Dashiell Hammett: [after reading Lillian's play] You better tear this
up. It's not that it's bad, it's just not good enough, not for you.
363444a368482,368484
Yashvardhan Rampal 'Major': [Speaking to Ajju] Who gave you the
passport to come here.
363450a368491,368505
# Kabzaa (1988)
Ravi Varma, Rita: Dil ki adalat pyar ka mukadama, dekho vakil babu
ban gaye balma... In the High Court of the heart, in the Court
proceedings of love, the lawyer has become a sweetheart...
Ustad Ali Mohammed: Eh mere dil har dum ye dua kar, ya mere malik tu
sabka bala kar... My heart also wishes well, O my God please help
everyone...
Ravi Varma, Rita: Tumse miley bin chain nahin aahta main kya karun,
mujhey to ye bhi kahena bhi nahin aahta main kya karun... I am
restless without meeting you, what to do, I don't even know how to
say this, what to do...
364794,364798c369849,369853
Game Show Announcer: Guard number one is a senior on Klahn's
mountain, and aspires to be a research chemist. Welcome, please,
Hung Well! Guard number two is a real skating buff. A warm welcome
for Long Wang! Traveling comes naturally to guard number three, as
he's a licensed airplane pilot. Welcome, please, Enormous Genitals!
364972a370028,370052
# Khel Khel Mein (1975)
Ajay Anand: Aye lo pyar ke din aaye, mil jane de apne saaye... The
days of love have come, let our shadows come together...
Ajay Anand: Ek me aur ek tu, dono miley is tarah, aur jo tan man mein
ho raha, woh to hona hi tha... When you and I met in this manner,
what's happening to us, was meant to happen...
Ajay Anand: Khulam khula pyar karenge hum dono, is duniya se nahin
darenge hum dono... We will love openly without fear from this
world...
Ajay Anand: Hamne tumko dekka, tumne humko dekka aise, hum tum sanam
sathon janam miltey rahey ho jaise... I saw you, you saw me, it is
as though we have been meeting like this for last seven lives...
Sherri: Sapna mera toot gaya, tu na raha kuch na raha... My dream has
broken, you are gone, nothing remains...
# Khoobsurat (1999)
Sanju, Shivani: Mera bhi ek sapna hai ke dekhu tujhey sapnon mein...
I have a dream to see you in my dreams...
365087c370167
rattler whether he's got one rattle or a dozen.
365867c370947
Budd: Not in El Paso, it wasn't. In El Paso, I got me $250.
365927c371007
The Bride: How long does this shit take to go into effect?
365966c371046
Larry Gomez: Take a hit... be somebody, baby.
365980a371061,371064
Larry Gomez: Take off the hat!
Budd: Customers where hats.
Larry Gomez: Well I'm not the boss of the customers, now am I?
366485a371570
[to a poacher caught in a mantrap]
366486a371572,371590
Let this be a lesson to you not to poach on my land.
Sibella: [sobs] Oh Louis! I don't want to marry Lionel!
Louis Mazzini: Why not?
Sibella: He's so dull.
Louis Mazzini: I must admit he exhibits the most extraordinary
capacity for middle age that I've ever encountered in a young man
of twenty-four.
Sibella: What would you say if she asked you about me?
Louis Mazzini: I'd say that you were the perfect combination of
imperfections. I'd say that your nose was just a little too short,
your mouth just a little too wide. But yours was a face that a man
could see in his dreams for the whole of his life. I'd say that you
were vain, selfish, cruel, deceitful. I'd say that you were...
Sibella.
Sibella: What a pretty speech.
Louis Mazzini: I mean it.
Sibella: [seductively] Come and say it to me again.
366837,366841d371940
367648a372748,372892
Det. Davey Skes: Sure picks lookers, doesn't he?
Alex Cross: Yeah, he does. But you know these women are more than
just attractive. They're all extraodinary in some way. Smart,
talented.
Det. Davey Skes: He ain't choosing them just for their congeniality.
Alex Cross: Ordinarily, they don't, but I think our guy is a little
different.
Detective Nick Ruskin: How so?
Alex Cross: I think killing's not his ulterior motive. This guy's a
collector. I bet these women are alive.
Det. Davey Skes: Come on, doc. Our boy's brain is soft as a
two-minute egg and nothing personal, but I figure every one of them
gals is tied to a tree just waiting to get found.
Alex Cross: Think about it, Sikes. The three you found were killed
out of sequence. They weren't even among the first abducted.
Det. Davey Skes: That's right.
Detective Nick Ruskin: That don't mean they're not still out there.
Alex Cross: But you would have found them by now. He makes absolutely
no attempt to hide 'em and the way they were killed, very
revealing. That last long walk through the woods.
Kyle Craig: Marching to their fate.
Alex Cross: Exactly. The rape, cutting off their hair.
Kyle Craig: It's punishment.
Alex Cross: Maybe for violating some trust.
Dr. Kate McTiernan: Somebody help me. My name is Kate! I'm Kate
McTiernan! I'm a doctor at the Carolina Regional Medical Center. I
need help! I know you can hear me. Come on! Who's out there?
[starts crying] Somebody help. My name is Kate McTiernan. Somebody
talk to me! Who is out there? [many young women begin to speak]
Naomi Cross: My name is Naomi Cross. I've been here for 8 days, I
think.
Dr. Kate McTiernan: Hello, I'm Kate McTiernan. First, I'd like to say
something to the families who have a loved one missing. Please, do
not give up hope. There are other women where I was held and I
believe in my heart that they are still alive. Second, to the boys
who fished me out of the river and saved my life, and to the nurses
and doctors here who are taking such excellent care of me, and for
the thousands of letters and prayers I've recieved from all across
America, thank you. And last, to the man who calls himself
Casanova. The man who took me from my own home and ultimately tried
to kill me. I broke your rules, just me. None of the other women
helped. So if you're looking for someone to blame, blame me. That's
all I have to say right now. Thank you for taking my message to the
families of the missing and I hope it helps a little bit. Thank
you.
Dr. Kate McTiernan: You're going out there on your own?
Alex Cross: I got people.
Dr. Kate McTiernan: Take me with you.
Alex Cross: I think you're best served by staying here.
Dr. Kate McTiernan: And pretend like nothing's happened?
Alex Cross: No, that's not what I was going to say. I just think you
should be trying...
Dr. Kate McTiernan: I'm the only person who's seen this guy. I know
his size, his voice, I know the way he moves
Alex Cross: I know how you feel, honestly.
Dr. Kate McTiernan: Would you please stop treating me like I'm a
victim? You think I'm some kind of tourist in all this because I
wasn't raped? Every night when I go to sleep I hear those women's
voices. You want to save your neice? Well, guess what. So do I.
Alex Cross: Got something for you. [shows Naomi a violin] Ta-da!
Naomi Cross: What happened to the strings?
Alex Cross: New strings for new music.
Naomi Cross: Thank you.
Detective Nick Ruskin: How are you feeling, by the way? You feel like
you're getting back on your feet?
Dr. Kate McTiernan: I guess if I felt solid anywhere it should be in
this house. I've been in it one way or another my whole life. It
was my great aunt's. But I don't know. It's just different now.
Something's off. I used to walk in the middle of the night down to
the corner market for a quart of milk.
Detective Nick Ruskin: That's true. I mean, people just get
complacent. It happens.
Dr. Kate McTiernan: Would you please hand me the big chopping knife.
Detective Nick Ruskin: The department gives courses of self-defense.
Dr. Kate McTiernan: I've been thinking about spending more time at
the dojo.
Detective Nick Ruskin: Kick boxing's fine, but that's not what I
mean. I'm talking prevention. We teach things like, uh, varying
your routine. Keeping your lights on at night. Maybe getting a dog.
I'm sorry. Does this bother you?
Dr. Kate McTiernan: It's good. I need to hear it.
Detective Nick Ruskin: Just simple things like, um, carrying personal
alarms. Taking your garbage out the morning of. Not using cordless
phones. Anyone with a scanner can listen in.
Dr. Kate McTiernan: What does taking your garbage out the morning of
have to do with anything?
Detective Nick Ruskin: Night before, anyone can tear through it.
Dr. Kate McTiernan: Who in the world possibly cares how much tuna I
eat? [hands Nick the knife] Would you rinse this for me, please?
Detective Nick Ruskin: Think about it. A guy could come by, say,
Tuesday night, 3 in the morning, dump your trash in one of those
30-gallon plastic sacks. Haul it down to an abandoned lot and
bingo! There it is. What a lady eats, how often she shaves. He can
even tell a lady's time of the month. Anything you want to know.
What kind of lipstick she wears, and used condoms. How often's she
gettin' it? Twice a week? Three times? The same guy, different
guys? [losing accent] Of course, that doesn't apply to you. Let's
face it. In your case, it's been quite awhile. Not since that, that
surgeon. What? Six, seven months ago? You were special, Kate. Do
you have any idea how much time I gave you? Months. Yes, months. I
sacrificed for you, but now I'm going to show you sacrifice. What
are you going to do? Are you going to cut me? Do it! [Kate cuts
Nick's stomach] Good girl.
Alex Cross: Don't do it, Nick.
Dr. Kate McTiernan: Alex.
Alex Cross: Let's talk about it, ok? You want to put the lighter
down, Nick? Please?
Detective Nick Ruskin: She has to know.
Alex Cross: She knows, Nick.
Detective Nick Ruskin: Then why don't you shoot me?
Alex Cross: Ah, I don't think so. Muzzle flare, room full of gas, all
that, you know? Look, Nick I'm gonna put the gun down. Look, see?
There now. How's that? I want you to think about this, Nick. If you
do this, no one will ever understand.
Detective Nick Ruskin: Oh, don't mind fuck me!
Alex Cross: No, I'm not, Nick.
Detective Nick Ruskin: See Kate? It's all about building rapport. You
use the subject's first name, and your tone, you gotta keep it soft
and steady.
Alex Cross: Establish eye contact, seek his level.
Detective Nick Ruskin: You wanna know the truth, Alex? You're the one
who really needs help.
Alex Cross: Well, enlighten me, Nick. Tell me what the truth is.
Detective Nick Ruskin: Truth is looking at a beautiful woman, like
our Kate here, and saying to yourself, I gotta have that. I gotta
break her down. It's your basest animal self. Dig deep, Alex.
You'll recognize him. He's ugly.
Alex Cross: I've run into him now and then.
Detective Nick Ruskin: Go ahead. Reach for the Glock and take me down
before I tell you about the 10 days I spent with Naomi. 10 days,
Doc. Things she'd never tell you. My brown sugar, face like an
angel. Perfect, every inch of her. You never knew Naomi. Not like I
did. Deep down, you envy me that. Say it.
Alex Cross: I don't work like you. I don't, hate.
Detective Nick Ruskin: You only wish you had the courage. Good night,
sweet Kate. [Alex shoots and kills Nick through a carton of Milk
before he can kill Kate] .
Alex Cross: Kate. It's alright Kate.
368115c373359,373374
Roland: God love you William. So do I.
Chaucer: Look I have a gambling problem. I can't help myself. And
these people will quite literally take off clothes of your back.
William: What are you expect us to do about it?
Peter The Pardoner of Rouen: He assured us that you, his liege, would
pay us.
William: And who are you?
Peter The Pardoner of Rouen: Peter, a humble pardoner and merchant of
religious relics.
William: How much does he owe you?
Simon The Summoner of Rouen: Ten gold florins.
William: What would you do to him, if I was to refuse?
Simon The Summoner of Rouen: We, in behalf of the lord God, would
take him of his flesh, so that he may understand the gambling is a
sin.
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Jack Slater: Big mistake!
371685c376946
[ When danny comes home with Jack at 4 a.m]
371785c377046
Benedict: 180, you stupid, spaghetti-slurping cretin - *180*! If I
371859a377121,377126
The mayor: Jack, as mayor of this great metropolis, you and I have
had our little tiffs, but this is the Lieutenant Governor.
Lt. Governor: Jack, here's what I think we should do...
Jack Slater: [breaks the Lieutenant Governor's nose] When the
Governor gets here, call me.
372452a377720,377748
Pu Yi, at 15: Where are your ancestors buried?
Reginald Fleming 'R.J.' Johnston: In Scotland, your majesty.
Pu Yi, at 15: But then, where's your skirt? In your country, men wear
short skirts, do they not?
Reginald Fleming 'R.J.' Johnston: No, your majesty, Scotmen do not
wear skirts. They wear kilts.
Pu Yi, at 15: Who is this George Washington?
Reginald Fleming 'R.J.' Johnston: A famous American, your majesty. A
revolutionary general, the first American president.
Pu Yi, at 15: Ah, like Mr. Lenin in Russia?
Reginald Fleming 'R.J.' Johnston: Not quite.
Pu Yi, at 15: Does he have a car?
Reginald Fleming 'R.J.' Johnston: He lived a long time ago, your
majesty.
Pu Yi, at 15: *I* want a car.
Pu Yi, at 15: Is it true, Mr. Johnston, that many people out there
have had their heads cut off?
Reginald Fleming 'R.J.' Johnston: It is true, your majesty. Many
heads have been chopped off. It does stop them thinking.
Reginald Fleming 'R.J.' Johnston: The Emperor has been a prisoner in
his own palace since the day that he was crowned, and has remained
a prisoner since he abdicated. But now he's growing up, he may
wonder why he's the only person in China who may not walk out of
his own front door. I think the Emperor is the loneliest boy on
Earth.
373240a378537,378543
Emperor Meiji: My ancestors have ruled Japan for 2,000 years. And for
all that time we have slept. During my sleep I have dreamed. I
dreamed of a unified Japan. Of a country strong and independent and
modern... And now we are awake. We have reailroads and cannon and
Western clothing. But we cannot forget who we are. Or where we come
from.
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Elizabeth: Our sole purpose is to get the band back together.
Gwen: You got a gig?
Patrick: Posters go up next month.
Gwen: What is it?
Elizabeth: Well, it's my granddaughter's school dance.
Gwen: A school dance? I never played school dances even when I was at
school.
Gwen: I have sung for my supper for half a lifetime, and I've done it
all without rehearsal.
Joanna: So you were the only man in the band?
Patrick: Just me and all those chicks.
Elizabeth: Oh do you mind? I'm not and never have been a chick.
Joanna: How did you get the job?
Patrick: Well, they couldn't find a girl who played the drums. I had
a quiet word with Betty the Bandleader, two pairs of nylon
stockings and the job was mine.
Elizabeth: Also he was on the run.
Patrick: Also I was on the run.
Patrick: How did you get here?
Elizabeth: Overnight sleeper. Central heating and a roof.
Patrick: Does that mean I'm forgiven?
Elizabeth: Absolutely not. But we need a trumpet player and I
couldn't trust you to deliver one. I wouldn't trust you to deliver
a bottle of milk.
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Auda Abu Tayi: I am Auda abu Tayi! Does Auda serve?
Howeitat tribesmen: NO!
Auda Abu Tayi: Does Auda abu Tayi serve?
Howeitat tribesmen: NO!
Auda Abu Tayi: [to Lawrence] I carry twenty-three great wounds, all
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flocks and herds. The Turks pay me a golden treasure, yet I am
poor! Because *I* am a river to my people!
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T.E. Lawrence: I killed two people. One was... yesterday? He was just
a boy and I led him into quicksand. The other was... well, before
Aqaba. I had to execute him with my pistol, and there was something
374886,374889c380217,380220
Sherif Ali: It is their payment, Colonel.
Colonel Brighton: Payment?
Sherif Ali: Truly, are not British soldiers paid?
Colonel Brighton: They don't go home when they've been paid!
374892,374895c380223,380226
Tafas: [talking of Britain] Is that a desert country?
T.E. Lawrence: No: a fat country. Fat people.
Tafas: You are not fat?
T.E. Lawrence: No. I'm different.
374900,374903c380231,380234
Prince Feisal: Young men make wars, and the virtues of war are the
virtues of young men: courage, and hope for the future. Then old
men make the peace, and the vices of peace are the vices of old
men: mistrust and caution.
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Colonel Brighton: Look, sir, we can't just do nothing.
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long will they be a little people, a silly people - greedy,
374940,374941c380271,380272
General Murray: Your manner?
T.E. Lawrence: Yes. It looks insubordinate, but it isn't really.
374978c380309
T.E. Lawrence: The truth is: I'm an ordinary man. You might've told
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Prince Feisal: But you know, Lieutenant, in the Arab city of Cordoba
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T.E. Lawrence: Time to be great again, my lord.
375106c380437
bit fuzzy but the bride was beautiful in her figur hugging Sarena
375143c380474
Daniel: I told you darling we don't need separate bedrooms, I don't
375147c380478,380480
Daniel: Oh yes please, only if it's an extremely one.
Sara: You are so adorable when you're going for the kill.
379715a385049,385054
Nick the Grub (Jackson gang: [Bean has shot Bad Bob from ambush with
a buffalo rifle] Damn, Judge! You shot him in the back!
Whorehouse Lucky Jim (Jackson gang: Appears like he shot him in the
back and the front! Judge, you didn't give him no chance!
Judge Roy Bean: He'd didn't deserve a chance. If he wanted a chance;
he should have gone somewhere else.
380332a385672,385729
Mary: That's funny. The words are the same, but it's the wrong tune.
Clarence Day: Oh, it can't be the wrong tune. We sing it exactly that
way in church.
Mary: We don't sing it that way in the Methodist Church. You see,
we're Methodist.
Clarence Day: Oh, that's too bad. Oh, I don't mean it's too bad that
you're a Methodist. Anybody's got a right to be anything they want,
but what I mean is, we're... *Episcopalians*.
Father: I don't go to church to be preached at as though I were some
lost sheep.
Vinnie: Clare, you don't seem to understand what the Church is for.
Father: Vinnie, if there's one place the Church should leave alone,
it's a man's soul!
Vinnie: Is that suit of your father's too tight for you?
Clarence Day: No, it's not too tight.
Vinnie: Well, what is it?
Clarence Day: Mother, very peculiar things have happened since I
started to wear this suit. I can't seem to make these clothes do
anything Father wouldn't do.
Vinnie: Oh, that's nonsense. And not to kneel in church is a
sacrilege.
Clarence Day: Making Father's trousers kneel seemed like more of a
sacrilege.
Vinnie: I do the best I can to keep down expenses. You know yourself
Cousin Phoebe spends twice as much as we do.
Father: Don't talk to me about your cousin Phoebe.
Vinnie: You talk about your own relatives enough.
Vinnie: That's not fair, Vinnie. When I talk about my relatives, I
criticize them.
Father: Work never hurt anyone. It's good for them. But if you're
going to work, work hard. King Solomon had the right idea about
work. "Whatever thy hand findest to do," Solomon said, "do thy
doggonedest."
Vinnie: That's the loveliest ring you ever bought me. Now that I have
this, you needn't buy me any more rings.
Father: Well, if you don't want anymore . . .
Vinnie: What I'd really like now is a nice diamond necklace.
Father: You're going to every house where you sold a bottle of that
concoction and buy it all back.
John Day: But it's a dollar a bottle.
Father: I don't care how much it is. Here, I'll give you the money
now. How many bottles did you sell?
Father: A hundred and twenty-eight.
Father: A hundred and twenty-eight!
Vinnie: Clare, I always told you John would make a good businessman.
Father: Young man, you'll have to come down to my office with me.
I'll give you the money to buy back that medicine. $128, and $10
more for Mrs. Sprague's dog, that's $138. But it's all coming out
of your allowance. That means you'll not get another penny until
the whole $138 is paid up.
John Day: [does math on his fingers] I'll be twenty-one years old!
381440a386838,386843
Timon: Well, that worked like a dream.
Pumbaa: It did?
Timon: Sarcasm is a foreign language to you, isn't it?
Timon: Ahh... I love the smell of Pumbaa in the morning.
381600,381603c387003
Timon, Pumbaa: Ohhh.
382243c387643
sacrifice a few to many. It's hard to be one of those "few."
382245,382247c387645,387647
Capt. Phillip Donlin: None of us are fit to ride 50 miles, let alone
250. But we're gonna do it. And we don't have time to go around
obstacles. We'll go straight through them, no matter what or who
382733a388134,388204
# Little Murders (1971)
Alfred Chamberlain: Those guys in the park, they said 'Hey, fatface!
What are you staring at?' If I told them I wasn't staring at them,
they would've beat me up for being a liar. And if I told them I was
staring at them because I wanted to take their picture, then they'd
beat me up for being a cop. So I told them I was staring at them
because they looked familiar, and they beat me up for being a fag.
There's no way of talking someone out of beating you up if that's
what he wants to do.
Patsy Newquist: Are you really so down on people, or are you just
being fashionable?
Alfred Chamberlain: I trust you.
Patsy Newquist: Oh, Alfred, do you really?
Alfred Chamberlain: I nearly trust you.
Patsy Newquist: Nearly?
Alfred Chamberlain: I nearly do. I really nearly do.
Patsy Newquist: [ecstatically] Oh, Alfred!
Mr. Newquist: Why don't you call me 'Dad'?
Alfred Chamberlain: I didn't call my own father 'Dad.'
Mr. Newquist: What did you call him?
Alfred Chamberlain: I didn't call him anything. The occasion never
came up.
Rev. Dupas: First, let me state to you, Alfred, and to you, Patricia,
that of the 200 marriages I have performed, all but seven have
failed. So the odds are not good.
Rev. Dupas: Why does one decide to marry? Social pressure? Boredom?
Loneliness? Sexual appeasement? Love? I won't put any of these
reasons down. Each in its own way is adequate, each is all right.
Last year, I married a musician who wanted to get married in order
to stop masturbating. Please, don't be startled, I'm not putting
him down. That marriage did not work. But the man tried. He is now
separated, still masturbating, but he is at peace with himself
because he tried society's way.
Rev. Dupas: Now, just last month, I married a novelist to a painter.
Everyone at the wedding ceremony was under the influence of an
hallucinogenic drug. The drug quickened our mental responses,
slowed our physical responses, and the whole ceremony took two days
to perform. Never have the words had such meaning!
Patsy Newquist: Kissing you is like kissing white bread!
Patsy Newquist: It isn't just pain you don't feel, you don't feel
pleasure!
Alfred Chamberlain: I do feel pleasure.
Patsy Newquist: About what?
Alfred Chamberlain: A lot of things.
Patsy Newquist: Name one!
Alfred Chamberlain: My work.
Patsy Newquist: Oh, name another.
Alfred Chamberlain: Sleeping.
Patsy Newquist: Work and sleeping. Oh, that's just great! What about
sex?
Alfred Chamberlain: Makes you sleep better.
Patsy Newquist: Honey, I don't want to hurt you. I want to change
you.
Patsy Newquist: I want to be married to a big, strong, vital, virile,
self-assured man... that I can protect and take care of.
Patsy Newquist: Now, I'm not saying that I'm any better or stronger
than you are. It's just, we... you and I have different
temperaments. And my temperament is better and stronger than yours!
382989c388460
David: You don't even realize you're pretty, do you?
388879,388880c394350,394351
Gimli: I cannot jump the distance. You'll have to toss me. [pauses,
looks up to Aragorn] Don't tell the elf.
388882,388883c394353,394355
[a wall of soldiers line the ramparts - the top of Gimli's helm
barely peeks over the top]
Gimli: [to Legolas] You could have found a better spot.
388963c394435,394436
Legolas: [draws his bow and aims at arrow at Eomer's throat] You
would die before your stroke fell.
389165c394638
Gollum: MYYY PRECIOUS! AAAHH!
389248,389249c394721,394722
Frodo: Stop! This creature is bound to me and I to him. He is our
guide.
389259,389260c394732,394733
Legolas: You're friends are with you, Aragorn.
Gimli: Let's hope they last the night...
389417,389418c394890,394891
Frodo: The Ring will not save Gondor. It only has the power to
destroy. You must release me.
390775c396248
Premium Fantasy woman: Mr. Kazu sent me, premium fantasy. My
390777,390778c396250,396251
[sounds like "lip them"]
Premium Fantasy woman: Rip my stockings. Yes, please, rip them.
390780c396253
Premium Fantasy woman: Rip them. HEY! Rip my stocking!
390783,390784c396256,396257
[rolling around on the floor, waving her legs in the air]
Premium Fantasy woman: Oh Mr. Harris! Don't touch me! Mr. Bob Harris!
391643a397117,397123
Denny: So what do you got in there?
Wilson Joel: What do I got?
Denny: Yeah, Maura said you have a plane.
Wilson Joel: Yeah. It's really, really... I just got it.
Denny: Oh yeah, when?
Wilson Joel: Oh, not today. I mean... not today! You know?
391765c397245
death" - in order to get OUT of the valley of the shadow of death
391824c397304
[Struck by lightning, Old Nehamkin is a pile of ashes]
392002a397483,397511
[Boris is standing, looking at Napoleon, who's lying unconcious on
the floor]
Boris: If I don't kill him he'll make war all through Europe. But
murder... What would Socrates say? All those Greeks were
homosexuals. Boy, they must have had some wild parties. I bet they
all took a house together in Crete for the summer. A: Socrates is a
man. B: All men are mortal. C: All men are Socrates. Means all men
are homosexuals. Heh... I'm not a homosexual. Once, some cossacks
whisled at me. I, I have the kind of body that excites both
persuasions. You know, some men are heterosexual and some men are
bisexual and some men don't htink about sex at all, you know...
they become lawyers.
Boris: There's been a mistake! I know, I made it!
Boris: And you, Sonja, you look more beautiful standing here than you
do in person.
Sonja: Oh, Boris, I'm so unhappy.
Boris: Ohh, I wish you weren't.
Sonja: Voskovec and I quarrel frequently. I've become a scandal.
Boris: Poor Sonja.
Sonja: For the past weeks, I've visited Seretski in his room
Boris: Why? What's in his room? Oh...
Sonja: And before Seretski, Aleksei, and before Aleksei, Alegorian,
and before Alegorian, Asimov, and...
Boris: Okay!
Sonja: Wait, I'm still on the A:s.
392240a397750,397763
Daughter: Was I an embarassment or was I wonderful? Come on, Mom,
tell me the truth! I need to know! Am I still a big fish in a
little pond or have I hit the big time? I'm waiting!
Rick: You come from a thoroughbred. I don't see why you shouldn't win
this race.
Maggie: Well, look what slithered in while I was on the phone.
Rick: Why are you trying to hurt Vera? She's done nothing to you.
Vicky: Because she's interested in you and that bothers me.
Rick: Come on into my darkroom. Let's see what develops in there.
392539a398063,398065
Bea: I can understand her wanting to leave. But I can't understand
her leaving.
393270,393271c398796,398797
[the first use of the word "fuck" in a major motion picture]
Painless: Your fuckin' head is coming right off, pal.
393344a398871,398876
# Ma and Pa Kettle at the Fair (1952)
Ma Kettle: Pa, I always seem to be scoldin' you.
Pa Kettle: I know, Ma. You do all the barkin', but it's me that's
always in the doghouse.
394149c399681
[Rolls up window in limo]
394195c399727
[Outside of club, Dustin Diamond walks up]
394230c399762
Ricky Slade: Oh yeah... I love it.
394236c399768
purple frog? [Chole nods] Oh yeah? When? When you where asleep?
394238c399770
[after being yelled at]
394240a399773,399775
Ricky Slade: A lot going on. But there always is, isn't there? A lot
going on.
394444a399980,399982
Prince of Wales: Assaulted by both one's parents in the same evening!
What *is* family life coming to?
394545a400084,400101
Lucy: What are you studying at school?
George: College.
Lucy: College.
George: Oh, lots of useless guff.
Lucy: Why don't you study some useful guff?
George: What do you mean, useful?
Lucy: Something you'd use later in your business or profession.
George: I don't intend to go into any business or profession.
Lucy: No?
George: No.
Lucy: Why not?
George: Well, just look at them. That's a fine career for a man,
isn't it? Lawyers, bankers, politicians. What do they ever get out
of life, I'd like to know. What do they know about real things?
What do they ever get?
Lucy: What do you want to be?
George: [fatuously] A yachtsman! [Lucy reacts with astonishment]
395481a401038,401055
Lou Brown: I thought you said we didn't have any high priced talent.
Charlie Donovan: Forget about Dorn, he's just high priced.
Pepper Leach: [Vaughn pulls up on a motorcycle] Look at this
fuckin'guy.
Lou Brown: My kinda team, Charlie, my kinda team.
Roger Dorn: Lou, Lou; a minute of your time. [hands Lou his contract]
See, it says right there; no calisthentics. What do you think of
that? [Lou drops the contract on the ground and urinates on it,
then walks off]
Pepper Leach: [Vaughn has just given up a grand slam after walking
three straight batter] You want me to go get him?
Lou Brown: Nah, leave him out there. I want to see how he handles
this.
Lou Brown: [Vaughn hits the next batter causing a benches clearing
brawl] I think you can go get him now.
396033c401607
# Malevolence (2004)
396086a401661,401663
B-Rad: [to his parents and psychiatrist about when he becomes a
famous rapper] I'll buy you ALL cars.
396316,396326c401893,401904
Brodie: I already did once today. [clicks his finger at Renee] But my
cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a
plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The
plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides
it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there.
So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start
whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are
beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the
sudden, *Snap* the hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself
and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you
know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone
else.
396385c401963,401964
Brodie: Look, if I had any kind of glow it's because I just got laid.
I would look the same had I banged anyone in that elevator...
396386a401966,401968
T.S. Quint: Deny it all you want. I think that you're too proud to
admit that you want her back.
Brodie: I suddenly want something very bad to happen to you.
396566c402148
T.S. Quint: [to Jay and Silent Bob] You two up for getting stoned?
398125c403707
couple of shovels?
398137a403720,403721
George Shapiro: Your material doesn't exactly transfer to film.
399600a405185,405189
Marci Feld: You know who you remind me of, in that outfit, with the
jewellery and te hair?
Dr. S: 2Pac? D.M.X.?
Marci Feld: My aunt Esther!
399623a405213,405216
# Mari-Cookie and the Killer Tarantula (1998)
Sheriff Marga: Men are weak and false.
399927a405521,405541
Grandma Florence Norris: Richie, I think these guys are very sick.
Cedric Williams: What are you guys gawking at? Get that president
outta here!
Grandma Florence Norris: They blew up Congress! Ha ha ha ha!
Richie's Dad: Martians. Ha ha. Funny looks little critters, aren't
they?
Richie Norris: Should I go get Grandma?
Richie's Dad: Oh forget Grandma! She's halfway into space already!
Sue Ann Norris: I'll tell you one thing, they ain't gettin' the TV.
Barbara Land: Know anyone who can fly a plane?
Byron Williams: Yeah, your husband Art.
Barbara Land: No... he's dead. I told him this was gonna happen.
Translator Device: Don't run, we are your friends.
400117c405731
[On the failure of their previous nanny]
400125c405739
it says]
400225c405839
dressed as red Indians boarded the vessel and dumped the tea
400242,400243c405856,405857
George W. Banks: What on Earth are you talking about? Superca - Super
- or whatever the infernal thing is.
401226c406840
[first lines]
401231c406845
worse. [Harry takes his first look at Matilda, grunts, and leaves]
401244c406858
books - I chose looks. I have a nice house, a wonderful husband...
401249,401250c406863,406865
Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Don't sneer at educated people, Mr.
Wormwood. If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a
college graduate.
401252,401254c406867,406870
Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Or - or say you were sued for selling a
faulty car. The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college
too.
Harry Wormwood: What car? Sued by who? Who you been talking to?
401289c406905
[after listing prices of cars bought and sold]
401291,401293c406907,406910
Michael 'Mikey' Wormwood: Could you repeat the last one?
Matilda Wormwood: [interrupting] $10,265.
[long pause]
Matilda Wormwood: Check it if you don't believe me.
401305,401307c406922,406924
child is bad." Instead he said, "When a person is bad." And thereby
introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their
parents. Only when they deserved it, of course.
401319,401320c406936,406937
Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Because she's a spectacularly wonderful
child and I love her.
401338,401342c406955,406958
Million $ Sticky Host: For those idiots out there who don't know how
to play, here's how it goes. For each correct answer, they'll move
one step closer to our Cube of Cash. Once in our Cube of Cash, any
money that sticks to your gooey body, you get to take home!
401347,401348c406963,406965
Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: I've often thought about it, but... I
can't abandon my children. And if I couldn't teach, I'd have
nothing at all.
401350c406967
Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Not as brave as you.
401352,401353c406969,406970
Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Quite the contrary. All grown-ups get
scared, just like children.
401370c406987
[He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is]
401381c406998
[Matilda leaves]
401386,401389c407003,407006
Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Matilda, you promised you wouldn't go
back into that house.
Matilda Wormwood: I didn't. I was on the garage roof. [whispering] I
did it with my powers.
401393c407010
Harry Wormwood: Moby WHAT?
401396c407013
Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Yes.
401398,401400c407015,407017
Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Yes.
Matilda Wormwood: But then... No.
Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Yes. Aunt Trunchbull.
401404c407021
chance to know you... where do I sign?
402539,402540c408156,408157
Oracle: OK, now I'm supposed to say, "Hmm, that's interesting, but...
" then you say...
402776a408394,408401
Tank: We're supposed to start with these operation programs first.
That's major boring shit. Let's do something a little more fun. How
about... combat training.
Neo: Ju jitsu? I'm gonna learn Ju jitsu. [Tank winks and loads the
program] Holy shit!
Tank: Hey Mikey, I think he likes it. How about some more?
Neo: Hell, yes. Hell yeah.
403540,403542c409165,409167
Max Payne: [narrating] Winterson would've found a way to do this
nice, neat and clean. Logic told me backup should be on its way,
someone must've heard the gunfire - logic was such a liar...
403559a409185,409187
Max Payne: [narrating] Vinnie was about to piss his pants, he'd end
up short circuiting the bomb and blowing us both up...
403644a409273,409276
Polly: Do you like pussy?
May: What?
Polly: Cats. You like pussy cats?
404202c409834
Mr. Duvall: There is a serious problem here and we're going to solve
404205c409837
Mr. Duvall: I will keep you here until four.
404241,404242c409873,409874
Mr. Duvall: I should cancel your Spring Fling, but I'm not going to
do that. We've already paid the DJ.
404251,404252c409883,409885
Kevin Gnapoor: [watching the "Jingle Bell Rock" dance] Damn!
[To Janice Ian]
Kevin Gnapoor: I'd rater see you out there shakin yo' thang
404268,404274c409901,409907
Regina] Gretchen: Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a
giant while the rest of us try not to get crushed by his huge feet?
Since when is it okay for someone to be the boss of everyone?
That's not what Rome is about. Besides, Brutus is just as smart as
Caesar. Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. People like Brutus just
as much as they like Caesar. I think we should all just STAB
CAESAR!
404291c409924,409934
Janis: Your mom's chest hair!
Mr. Duvall: I have a nephew named Anferny, and I know how much he
hates it when I call him Anthony. Almost as much as I hate the fact
that my sister named him Anferny.
Mr Duvall: Sorry, like my nephew, his name is Anfernie. He gets
really mad everytime i call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I am at
my sister for naming her son Anfernie.
Ms. Norbury: Oh, hi. Would you like to buy some drugs?
408895c414538
Towny: Oh, Joe it's... it's so difficult, I - You're a nice person,
408915c414558
[At the gravesite of his father]
408927c414570
[Joe Buck laughs]
408929c414572
Joe Buck: It's just - Know what happened? You just took a little rest
408952a414596,414599
[first lines]
Joe Buck: Whoopee-tee-yi-yo. Get along little dogies. It's your
misfortune and none of my own.
410040a415688,415703
# Mikaël (1924)
[first lines]
Motto (titlecard): Motto: Now I can die in peace for I have known a
great love.
Adelsskjold: I cannot think of a more beautiful end than dying for
the man you love most.
Switt: For me death is simply the last bite of life.
Claude Zoret: Youth has to be spent and youth costs money!
Claude Zoret: No man knows how lonely I am! And no man has a right to
make me still more lonely.
410051c415714
Harpsey: Yeah, babe...
410053a415717,415719
Mike: Ladies and gentlemen. England will be playing Four-Four-Fucking
Two.
411267c416933
Inspector Delbert Craddock: [to Jason Rudd] I'm sure you'll make a
413033c418699,418717
Christina: Don't you act for me. I wanna know: why did you adopt me?
Christina: How are you, Miss Bennett?
Barbara Bennett: Gad, call me Barbara! They're teaching you some
fancy manners at Chadwick.
Joan Crawford: That's not ALL they've been teaching her.
Joan Crawford: Why do you deliberately defy me?
Christina: Why did you tell her I got expelled?
Joan Crawford: Because you DID get expelled!
Christina: That... is a LIE.
Joan Crawford: [Smacking Christina hard across the face twice] You
love it, don't you? YOU LOVE TO MAKE ME HIT YOU!
Barbara Bennett: Joan!
Joan Crawford: Barbara, PLEASE! PLEASE, Barbara! Leave us alone,
Barbara. If you need anything, ask Carol Ann! [laughs bitterly]
This is wonderful. THIS IS WONDERFUL! YOU! You deliberately
embarrassed me in front of a REPORTER! [clutches herself] A
REPORTER! I told you how important this to me, I TOLD YOU!
413242a418927,418936
Walter: [Walter is on the phone with the permit inspector] I'm sorry
I wasn't here when you came by but my wife, ah, became very ill and
we, uh, had to take her to the hospital and she is fact very ill
and... oh, that doesn't cut any ice with you. Well, what would cut
some ice? A bribe; okay, how much? $200? I'll see you in fifteen
minutes.
Anna: This is my house, too. I want to help.
Walter: Do you have a gun?
413865a419560,419564
# Monster on the Campus (1958)
Professor Donald Blake: Ah, the human female in the perfect state -
helpless and silent.
414295c419994
flavour... Bleedin' seabird bleedin' flavour. ALBATROSS.
414332a420032,420035
Flying minstrel: I've got two legs, from my hips to the ground / And
when I move them, they walk around / And when I lift them, they
climb the stairs / And when I shave them, they ain't got hairs.
415418c421121
Alex Sternbergen: What are you, some kind of Klan anthropologist?
415613,415614c421316,421317
Kano: Give it up, baby. I've studied all your moves.
Sonya Blade: Yeah? STUDY THIS! [hits him]
415887c421590
Contestant: My underwear! [Audience busts out laughing]
415894,415895c421597,421598
Gene Rayburn: Doesn't she have pretty nipples... uh, pretty DIMPLES?
[Whole studio busts out laughing]
415898,415901c421601,421610
the Einstein that you are, you said morning. Our survey said...
zip! Now if that wasn't bad enough, I then said name a time that
most people go to bed, and you said, of course. Night. Our survey
said... 2!
Richard Dawson: Name somthing you might accidentally leave on all
night.
Contestant: Your shoe. [audience laughs]
Richard Dawson: Now don't take this the wrong way, but, you are
weird.
418407c424116
can pick you up, burn your home, fuck your wife, and kill your dog.
418927c424636
[After a shipwreck]
418942c424651
[After a mysterious wind blows up for the umpteenth time]
419019c424728
Dr. Bey, Ardeth Bay: YES!
419057c424766
[In a darkened room]
419060c424769
[at Hamunaptra, opening Imhotep's sarcophagus]
419064c424773
Rick, Jonathan: ...juicy.
419210c424919
[They have just walked into a large room full of gold]
421137a426847
Jesus: Oh - I knew there was a reason.
425249a430960,430973
# Naam (1986)
Vicky Kapoor: Tu kal chala jayega to main kya karunga, tu yaad bahut
ayega to main kya karunga... When you leave tommorrow, then what
will I do, when I miss you, then what will I do...
Ravi Kapoor: Amiron ki shyam garibon ke naam... This evening of the
rich is in the name ofthe poor...
Pankaj Udhas: Chiti aai hai vatan se chiti aai hai, badey dino ke
baad hum bevatano ko yaad vatan ki mitti aai hai... A letter has
come from our home country, after months, we immigrants remember
the soil of our home country...
425283a431008,431012
# Nadiya Ke Paar (1982)
Gunja: Kaun disha mein leke chala re bathuria... In what direction
are you taking us...
427346a433076,433077
Lieutenant Danny Roman: I'm still alive, motherfucker!
427631,427632c433362,433363
Diana Christensen: Hi. I'm Diana Christensen, a racist lackey of the
imperialist ruling circles.
427634c433365
Diana Christensen: Sounds like the basis of a firm friendship.
427636,427649c433367,433382
Diana Christensen: I'm interested in doing a weekly dramatic series
based on the Ecumenical Liberation Army. The way I see the series
is: Each week we open with an authentic act of political terrorism
taken on the spot, in the actual moment. Then we go to the drama
behind the opening film footage. That's your job, Ms. Hobbs. You've
got to get the Ecumenicals to bring in that film footage for us.
The network can't deal with them directly; they are, after all,
wanted criminals.
Diana Christensen: The time has come to re-evaluate our relationship,
Max.
Max Schumacher: So I see.
Diana Christensen: I don't like the way this script of ours has
turned out. It's turning into a seedy little drama.
Max Schumacher: You're going to cancel the show?
Diana Christensen: Right.
427652,427653c433385,433386
Max Schumacher: I don't know how I feel. I'm grateful I can feel
anything. [his wife flinches] I know I'm obsessed with her.
427656c433389
Max Schumacher: [pauses] I'm in love with her.
427664c433397
Or - or some broad that you picked up after three belts of booze.
427676,427677c433409,433410
Frank Hackett: We're not a respectable network. We're a whorehouse
network, and we have to take whatever we can get.
427680,427683c433413,433414
Frank Hackett: That's very commendable of you, Nelson. Your
indignation is duly noted; now, sit down.
427686,427687c433417,433418
Frank Hackett: The affiliates will kiss your ass if you can hand them
a hit show.
427689c433420,433421
Diana Christensen: All I want out of life is a 30 share and a 20
rating.
427691,427712c433423,433446
Diana Christensen: By tomorrow, he'll have a 50 share, maybe even a
60. Howard Beale is processed instant God, and right now, it looks
like he may just go over bigger than Mary Tyler Moore.
Max Schumacher: You need me. You need me badly. Because I'm your last
contact with human reality. I love you. And that painful, decaying
love is the only thing between you and the shrieking nothingness
you live the rest of the day.
Diana Christensen: [hesitatingly] Then, don't leave me.
Max Schumacher: It's too late, Diana. There's nothing left in you
that I can live with. You're one of Howard's humanoids. If I stay
with you, I'll be destroyed. Like Howard Beale was destroyed. Like
Laureen Hobbs was destroyed. Like everything you and the
institution of television touch is destroyed. You're television
incarnate, Diana: Indifferent to suffering; insensitive to joy. All
of life is reduced to the common rubble of banality. War, murder,
death are all the same to you as bottles of beer. And the daily
business of life is a corrupt comedy. You even shatter the
sensations of time and space into split seconds and instant
replays. You're madness, Diana. Virulent madness. And everything
you touch dies with you. But not me. Not as long as I can feel
pleasure, and pain... and love.
[Kisses her]
Max Schumacher: And it's a happy ending: Wayward husband comes to his
427715,427717c433449,433455
desolation. Music up with a swell; final commercial. And here are a
few scenes from next week's show.
[Picks up his suitcases and leaves]
Max Schumacher: After living with you for the last six months, I'm
turning into one of your scripts. Well, this is not a script,
Diana. There's some real, actual life going on here.
427719,427779c433457,433502
Max Schumacher: I'm the man that you presumably love. I'm a part of
your life. I live here. I'm real. You can't switch to another
station.
Diana Christensen: Well, what exactly is it you want me to do?
Max Schumacher: I just want you to love me. I just want you to love
me, primal doubts and all. You understand that, don't you?
Diana Christensen: [weakly] I don't know how to do that.
Max Schumacher: I feel lousy about the pain that I've caused my wife
and kids. I feel guilty and conscience-stricken, and all of those
things you think sentimental, but which my generation calls simple
human decency. And I miss my home, because I'm beginning to get
scared shitless, because all of a sudden it's closer to the end
than the beginning, and death is suddenly a perceptible thing to
me, with definable features.
Diana Christensen: Look, I sent you all a concept analysis report
yesterday. Did any of you read it?
[Aides stare blankly at her]
Diana Christensen: Well, in a nutshell, it said: "The American people
are turning sullen. They've been clobbered on all sides by Vietnam,
Watergate, the inflation, the depression; they've turned off, shot
up, and they've fucked themselves limp, and nothing helps." So,
this concept analysis report concludes, "The American people want
somebody to articulate their rage for them." I've been telling you
people since I took this job six months ago that I want angry
shows. I don't want conventional programming on this network. I
want counterculture, I want anti-establishment. I don't want to
play butch boss with you people, but when I took over this
department, it had the worst programming record in television
history. This network hasn't one show in the top twenty. This
network is an industry joke, and we'd better start putting together
one winner for next September. I want a show developed based on the
activities of a terrorist group, "Joseph Stalin and His Merry Band
of Bolsheviks," I want ideas from you people. This is what you're
paid for. And by the way, the next time I send an audience research
report around, you'd all better read it, or I'll sack the fucking
lot of you. Is that clear?
Diana Christensen: [flipping through the newspaper] You know,
Barbara, the Arabs have decided to jack up the price of oil another
20%... uh, the CIA has been caught opening Senator Humphrey's
mail... there's a civil war in Angola... another one in Beirut...
the, uh, New York City's still facing default... they finally
caught up with Patricia Hearst... and the whole front page of the
"Daily News" is Howard Beale.
427781,427782c433504,433505
Diana Christensen: Well Max, here we are: Middle-aged man reaffirming
his middle-aged manhood, and a terrified young woman with a father
427785,427833c433508,433556
[immediately after making love with Max]
Diana Christensen: What's really bugging me now is my daytime
programming. NBC's got a lock on daytime - lousy game shows - and
I'd like to bust them. I'm thinking of doing a homosexual soap
opera, "The Dykes": The heart-rending saga about a woman hopelessly
in love with her husband's mistress.
Diana Christensen: [begins passionately making out with Max] NBC's
offering 2.2 and a half mill per [kiss] per package of five James
Bond movies, and I think I'm going to steal them for 3.5 [kiss] for
their third run. [deep kiss]
Diana Christensen: I was married for four years, and pretended to be
happy; and I had six years of analysis, and pretended to be sane.
My husband ran off with his boyfriend, and I had an affair with my
analyst, who told me I was the worst lay he'd ever had.
Diana Christensen: I watched your 6 o'clock news today; it's straight
tabloid. You had a minute and a half of that lady riding a bike
naked in Central Park; on the other hand, you had less than a
minute of hard national and international news. It was all sex,
scandal, brutal crime, sports, children with incurable diseases,
and lost puppies. So, I don't think I'll listen to any
protestations of high standards of journalism when you're right
down on the streets soliciting audiences like the rest of us. Look,
all I'm saying is if you're going to hustle, at least do it right.
Frank Hackett: I argued that television was a volatile industry in
which success and failure were determined week by week; Mr. Jensen
does not like volatile industries and suggested with a certain
sinister silkiness that volatility in business usually reflected
bad management.
Arthur Jensen: [to Howard] They say I can sell anything; I'd like to
try to sell something to you.
Arthur Jensen: It is the international system of currency which
determines the vitality of life on this planet. THAT is the natural
order of things today. THAT is the atomic and subatomic and
galactic structure of things today. And YOU have meddled with the
primal forces of nature. And YOU WILL ATONE. Am I getting through
to you, Mr. Beale? You get up on your little 21-inch screen and
howl about America, and democracy. There is no America; there is no
democracy. There is only IBM, and ITT, and AT&T, and DuPont, Dow,
Union Carbide, and Exxon. Those are the nations of the world today.
Arthur Jensen: You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr.
Beale, and I won't have it. Is that clear? You think you've merely
stopped a business deal? That is not the case. The Arabs have taken
427837c433560
There are no nations; there are no peoples. There are no Russians.
427842,427849c433565,433572
Arthur Jensen: The world is a business, Mr. Beale; it has been since
man crawled out of the slime. Our children will live, Mr. Beale, to
see that perfect world in which there's no war or famine,
oppression or brutality - one vast and ecumenical holding company,
for whom all men will work to serve a common profit, in which all
men will hold a share of stock - all necessities provided, all
anxieties tranquilized, all boredom amused. And I have chosen you,
Mr. Beale, to preach this evangel.
427851,427852c433574,433575
Arthur Jensen: Because you're on television, dummy. Sixty million
people watch you every night of the week, Monday through Friday.
427854c433577
Arthur Jensen: You just might be right, Mr. Beale.
427857c433580
retiring from this program in two weeks' time because of poor
427862c433585
show. You ought to get a hell of a rating out of that. 50 share,
427869,427875c433592,433595
Diana Christensen: I'm sorry for all those things I said to you last
night. You're not the worst fuck I ever had. Believe me, I've had
worse. You don't puff or snorkel and make death-like rattles. As a
matter of fact, you're rather serene in the sack.
427878c433598
Diana Christensen: I'm sorry I impugned your cocksmanship.
427913,427914c433633,433634
of bullshit. Am I still on the air? I really don't know any other
way to say it other than I just ran out of bullshit. Bullshit is
427916c433636
reasons of our own, we always have the God bullshit. We don't know
427919c433639
the God bullshit. And then, there's the noble man bullshit; that
427923c433643
is a noble creature, believe me: That man is full of bullshit. I
427925,427926c433645,433646
married for forty-three years of shrill, shrieking fraud. So I
don't have any bullshit left. I just ran out of it, you see.
427933,427938c433653,433659
Max Schumacher: [on the phone] Yeah, Tom, what is it?
Howard Beale: We don't know why we go through all this pointless
pain, humiliation, and decay. So there better be someone somewhere
who *does* know. That's the God bullshit.
Max Schumacher: He's saying that life is bullshit, and it is, so what
are you screaming about?
[hangs up]
427955,427958c433676,433679
Frank Hackett: Well, the issue is: Shall we kill Howard Beale, or
not? I'd like to get some more opinions on that.
Diana Christensen: I don't see we have any options, Frank. Let's kill
the son-of-a-bitch.
427982c433703
[Diana cuts her off]
427984,427985c433705,433706
[last lines]
Narrator: This was the story of Howard Beale: The first known
427988,427991c433709
Arthur Jensen: Good morning, Mr. Beale. They tell me you're a madman.
427995c433713
congressman, because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I
427998c433716
You've got to get mad.
428000c433718
Doorman: Good afternoon, Mr. Beale.
428002c433720
Doorman: Sure thing, Mr. Beale.
428004c433722,433723
Diana Christensen: [shouting] Son of a bitch. We've struck the
motherlode.
428009,428012d433727
428014c433729
Max Schumacher: Tell Mr. Hackett to go fuck himself.
428016,428017c433731,433733
Max Schumacher: [about Diana] I'm not sure she's capable of any real
feelings. She's television generation. She learned life from Bugs
Bunny.
428022c433738
that. A 50 share, at least.
428024,428026c433740,433742
Max Schumacher: We could make a series of it. "Suicide of the Week."
Aw, hell, why limit ourselves? "Execution of the Week."
Howard Beale: "Terrorist of the Week."
428028,428038c433744,433754
Mafia hitmen, automobile smash-ups: "The Death Hour." A great
Sunday night show for the whole family. It'd wipe that fuckin'
Disney right off the air.
Diana Christensen: Look, we've got a bunch of hobgoblin radicals
called the Ecumenical Liberation Army who go around taking home
movies of themselves robbing banks. Now, maybe they'll take movies
of themselves kidnapping heiresses, hijacking 747s, bombing
bridges, assassinating ambassadors. We'd open each week's segment
with their authentic footage, hire a couple of writers to write a
story behind that footage, and we've got ourselves a series.
428040c433756
Max Schumacher: She does have one script in which I kill myself: An
428044c433760
Frank Hackett: Four hours ago I was the Sun God at CCA, Mr. Jensen's
428048c433764
Arthur Jensen: Mr. Jensen is unhappy with Howard Beale and wants him
428050,428063c433766,433780
Diana Christensen: He may be unhappy, but he isn't stupid enough to
withdraw the number one show on television out of pique.
Arthur Jensen: Two billion dollars is not pique! That's the Wrath of
God! And the Wrath of God wants Howard Beale fired.
Frank Hackett: I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna impale the
son-of-a-bitch with a sharp stick through the heart. I'll take out
a contract on him. I'll hire a professional killer; no, I'll do it
myself. I'll strangle him with a sash cord.
Arthur Jensen: What do you think the Russians talk about in their
councils of state? Karl Marx? They get out their linear programming
charts, statistical decision theories, minimax solutions, and
compute the price-cost probabilities of their transactions, just
like we do.
428065,428066c433782,433783
Diana Christensen: We're kidding ourselves. Full-fledged messiahs
don't come in bunches.
429408,429409c435125,435133
Trotsky: I'll never understand you. You hate anyone who's not your
kind of Bolshevik more than you hate the Tsar.
Martov: No wonder they call you Robespierre. Everyone's got to think
like you, or they're out!
Trotsky: He thinks freedom is something you write on a wall, you
don't actually practice it.
Vladimir Lenin: That's not true. Of course, I agree you're free to
say what you like. And you must agree I'm free to shoot you for
saying it.
429421a435146
I'll be patient. If I wait, my turn will come.
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Vladimir Lenin: If there was a Bolshevik government in Russia, we'd
immediately make peace with Germany. How many Germany divisions
could you transfer to the western front then?
The German Consul: And now you are asking for classified information.
Do you realize my government has locked up more Bolsheviks than
anyone else? How can you expect us to help you make a revolution?
You have no sense of proportion!
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Anastasia: Carrots.
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429770a435489,435493
# Night Life, The (2004)
Detective: Love: it's what you get when you play tennis with a broken
racquet.
432553a438277,438282
Monica Teasdale: My gift to posterity is a few can of celluloid on a
junk heap someday
Monica Teasdale: I would have stopped working a long time ago if I
could have figured out what to do with myself.
432755a438485,438498
# No Retreat, No Surrender 3: Blood Brothers (1990)
Casey Alexander: [to one of the bank robbers after defeating the
group] This is the kind of American you're up against and why you
don't stand a chance, you asshole.
Casey Alexander: [to Will] Looks like we're going on a different sort
of hunting trip.
Casey Alexander: Not only do you have no witnesses, but everyone
thinks you saved the President.
Atteron: Exactly.
Will Alexander: It stinks!
436432c442175
Scott: It can't be... all the Ninja are dead...
436436a442180,442181
Scott: Doggo is not the answer... nswer... swer... wer... er... r...
440107,440110c445852,445856
Bill Owens: Sy, there's a 1000 other places where you can do your
photos. There's no reason to come all the way down other than to
fuck with me.
Sy Parrish: There's a very good reason. I calibrated that machine
personally. It's the best mini-lab in the state.
440139a445886,445912
Sy Parrish: Family photos depict smiling faces.
Sy Parrish: When people's houses are on fire, what's the first thing
they save after their pets and loved ones are saved?
Sy Parrish: Their family photos.
Sy Parrish: New parents go photo crazy.
Sy Parrish: The shutter is clicked. The flash goes off and they've
stopped time, as if just for the blink of an eye.
Bill Owens: Look, Sy, I got a family. I'm not losing my job over
this. I'm letting you go.
Sy Parrish: No. Ohhh...
Bill Owens: These log discrepancies would be enough, but you've been
spacing out on the job, taking 90-minute lunch breaks, creating
scenes in front of the customers... giving away free merchandise.
Sy Parrish: What?
Bill Owens: Free disposable cameras to customers on their birthday?
That must have been your bright idea. Sure as shit isn't company
policy.
Sy Parrish: You can't do this.
Bill Owens: It's done, Sy. I talked to Sims at district. Now you
finish out the week and clear out your locker. And if you do
something like fuck up today's prints -
Sy Parrish: I haven't fucked up a customer's prints in 11 years!
440654c446427
# Onimusha (2001) (VG)
440794a446568,446573
Percy: [during the gunfight] I almost didn't make it. Nearly fell and
broke my neck.
Boss Spearman: You better watch your step, old timer.
Percy: It was that damn Cuban cigar I smoked. Made me a little light
headed; I ain't used to it.
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Mara: [to Alex] It's you and me. You and me till the wheels fall off.
441313c447092
Will: You measure life with a ruler... and a bathroom scale.
441315,441316c447094
Thomas Garrett: Oh, women. Can't live with 'em. Can't live with 'em.
441318,441321c447096,447106
Alex Bernier: And now it is I. I have been blessed and cursed... for
now I possess the keys to the kingdom of heaven. I will forgive
those who deserve freedom. I will damn those who have damned
themselves. I will learn to live after love has died. I am the sin
eater.
Alex Bernier: Promise you won't try to kill me.
Mara: [sighs] Cross my heart, hope to die.
Bookstore Owner: And sometimes when you look into the abyss... the
abyss looks back into you.
442508a448294,448309
# Our America (2002)
LeAlan Jones: I live in the ghetto. I'm supposed to be a loser. I'm
supposed to be snatching a purse and shooting your head off. I'm a
person that doesn't vote. I'm the motherfucker that's supposed to
fill your jails. I'm not supposed to be intelligent; I'm not
supposed to know what I know, but I do. I've got an uncle and a
cousin that are career criminals, no father, a mother who was
pronounced mentally ill and a grandmother that raised him and
twenty kids, but I'll still make it. I know you don't want to hear
about the pain and suffering in that part of the city, but that
part of the city is part of your city too. I believe in my heart
that we must find a way to help one another. Not me by myself, or
you by yourself; I'm talking about all of us, living together, in
our city, in our America.
444947a450749,450820
[Henry drinking Coke]
Martha: Why don't you just pour battery acid down your throat?
Henry: No caffeine.
Martha: Wear a tie for the interview. And promise me you won't
torpedo it on purpose, okay?
Henry: What's the matter with Phil? It looks like he sat on something
sharp.
Janet, Henry's Secretary: Well, you told him he could have Richard's
old desk, right?
Henry: Right.
Janet, Henry's Secretary: And now you promised it to Carmen. Are you
completely psychotic?
Henry: I have episodes. Nothing serious.
Janet, Henry's Secretary: Phil is still pissed you wouldn't approve
his $600 orthopaedic chair. And now with this desk thing, he's
convinced it's a conspiracy to prevent him from sitting down.
Henry: Jeez. What are these?
Janet, Henry's Secretary: Subway wreck, West 4th Street this morning.
Did you find the one with the -
Henry: Is that an arm?
Janet, Henry's Secretary: Yeah, you found it.
Henry: Doesn't anybody say "good morning" any more?
Carmen: I don't think so.
Henry: Sometimes you can just smell a horrendously shitty day on the
way, can't you?
Bernie: You do have a problem, Henry. But it's your problem.
Henry: Thanks, Bernie. You've been a big help.
Henry: For God's sakes, Alicia. We're not gonna ask some news
reporter to wait until after 5:00 to make out-of-state phone calls.
It's ridiculous. I'm not gonna do it.
Alicia: Okay, let's let them make free phone sex calls too.
Henry: You mean as a kind of bonus? That's not a bad idea. Why don't
you start with Phil?
Phil: Aw, Jesus, Bernie. Come on with the smoke. You know the doctor
found nicotine in my urine again.
Bernie: Then keep your dick out of my ashtray.
Bernie: What about something fun? Don't we have anything fun today?
Henry: Nazis marching in New Jersey.
Lou: There you go.
Bernie: Nazis are a barrel of laughs.
Anna: Oh, Henry, this might interest you. The mother whale in the
Ukraine had triplets.
Henry: She told me she was on the pill!
Bernie's Doctor: Now don't overreact. If we go after it early, before
it metastasizes to a bone, the majority of these prostate cancer
cases are beatable.
Bernie: Go after it how?
Bernie's Doctor: Irridation therapy.
Bernie: That's fantastic. That's wonderful, because... as it turns
out, that's exactly the portion of my anatomy I'd like to see
exposed to radiation.
Bernie's Doctor: You'll have to take an hour or two off work for each
treatment. We should start right away. How's next monday?
Bernie: To burn a hole in my ass? Sounds good. Then I still have the
weekend.
[pause]
Bernie: Could you possibly be any more humourless about this?
Bernie's Doctor: I don't believe so. No.
Lou: Big scoop from the TV guys. Pinhead's brother cancels trip.
445051a450925,450938
# Parakh (1960)
Seema: Mila hai kisika jhumka, hare hare neem ka... Found is a
earring, green as the color of mint leaves...
Seema: O sajana, barkha bahar aai, ras ki puhar lai, ankhiyon me pyar
lai... O sweetheart, it is raining, a shower of nectar, love in
eyes...
Unknown: Kya hawa chali re baba ruth badli, shor hai gali gali, sau
sau chuyen khaike billy haj ko chali... The change in the winds
have changed the season, after eating hundreds of mice, the cat has
decided to go on a holy pilgrimage...
445539a451427,451465
# Pasqualino Settebellezze (1976)
Narrator: The ones who don't enjoy themselves, even when they laugh.
Oh yeah. The ones who worship the corporate image, not knowing that
they work for someone else. Oh yeah. The ones who should have been
shot in the cradle... Pow! Oh yeah. The ones who say 'Follow me to
success, but kill me if I fail... so to speak.' Oh yeah. The ones
who say we Italians are the greatest he-men on earth. Oh yeah. The
ones who are noble Romans, the ones who say 'That's for me,' the
ones who say 'You know what I mean.' Oh yeah. The ones who vote for
the right because they're fed up with strikes. Oh yeah. The ones
who vote white in order not to get dirty. The ones who never get
involved with politics. Oh yeah. The ones who say 'Be calm, calm.'
The ones who still support the king. The ones who say 'Yes, sir.'
Oh yeah. The ones who make love standing in their boots, and
imagine they're in a luxurious bed. The ones who believe Christ is
Santa Claus as a young man. Oh yeah. The ones who say 'Oh, what the
hell.' The ones who were there. The ones who believe in everything,
even in God. The ones who listen to the national anthem. Oh yeah.
The ones who love their country. The ones who keep going, just to
see how it will end. Oh yeah. The ones who are in garbage up to
here. Oh yeah. The ones who sleep soundly, even with cancer. Oh
yeah. The ones who, even now, don't believe the world is round. Oh
yeah, oh yeah. The ones who are afraid of flying. Oh yeah. The ones
who have never had a fatal accident. Oh yeah. The ones who have had
one. The ones who, at a certain point in their lives, create a
secret weapon, Christ. Oh yeah. The ones who are always standing at
the bar. The ones who are always in Switzerland. The ones who
started early, haven't arrived, and don't know they're not going
to. Oh yeah. The ones who lose wars by the skin of their teeth. Oh
yeah. The ones who say 'Everything is wrong here.' The ones who say
'Now let's all have a good laugh.' Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh
yeah.
Pasqualino Frafuso: You'll never take Pasqualino Seven-Beauties!
Never will you be able to take him alive!
Policeman: [seizing him] Stop bragging.
Pasqualino Frafuso: So I'm wrong.
445976,445979c451902,451903
Annette Bearer: So's this. Darlin'. [shoots Jimmy while he lies in
bed]
446361a452286,452315
# Pawnbroker, The (1964)
Jesus Ortiz: Say, how come you people come to business so naturally?
Sol Nazerman: You people? Oh, let's see. Yeah. I see. I see, you...
you want to learn the secret of our success, is that right? Alright
I'll teach you. First of all you start off with a period of several
thousand years, during which you have nothing to sustain you but a
great bearded legend. Oh my friend you have no land to call your
own, to grow food on or to hunt. You have nothing. You're never in
one place long enough to have geography or an army or a land myth.
All you have is a little brain. A little brain and a great bearded
legend to sustain you and convince you that you are special, even
in poverty. But this little brain, that's the real key you see.
With this little brain you go out and you buy a piece of cloth and
you cut that cloth in two and you go and sell it for a penny more
than you paid for it. Then you run right out and buy another piece
of cloth, cut it into three pieces and sell it for three pennies
profit. But, my friend, during that time you must never succumb to
buying an extra piece of bread for the table or a toy for a child,
no. You must immediately run out and get yourself a still larger
piece cloth and and so you repeat this process over and over and
suddenly you discover something. You have no longer any desire, any
temptation to dig into the Earth to grow food or to gaze into a
limitless land and call it your own, no no. You just go on and on
and on repeating this process over the centuries over and over and
suddenly you make a grand discovery. You have a mercantile
heritage! You are a merchant. You are known as a user, a man with
secret resources, a witch, a pawnbroker, a shylock, a mockery and a
kike!
447496,447497c453450,453451
Major General Partridge: I'm not going to sit here and tell you the
Paveway never missed.
447502c453456
Congressman #1: In baseball, the losing team isn't killed by their
447505,447517c453459,453473
Major General Partridge: We have had some spectacular successes.
Congressman #1: Such as?
Major General Partridge: That's classified information!
Caspar Weinberger: Please be seated. This will be brief, as I'm
needed at the Oval Office. I'd like to call your attention to this
morning's New York Times. If you'll turn to the editorial page? It
essentially says that every weapon we produce is an over-priced
piece of junk. Now, that's not news, critics have said it for
years. What was news to me touched on our supposedly spectacular
"Sgt. York" Anti-Aircraft Gun. It says that there when the "Sgt.
York" proved incapable of hitting airplanes, we test-fired it at
hovering helicopters. When it failed to hit hovering helicopters,
we test-fired it at stationary targets, and it missed those. Now is
this possible, General Keane?
447520c453476
ventilation fan in the latrine, and destroyed the latrine! Were we
447523,447527c453479,453485
[after redesigning the Bradley to carry a gun turret]
Col. Robert Laurel Smith: That's one hell of a cannon.
Jones: That's the problem.
Col. Robert Laurel Smith: What is?
Jones: You go out on the battlefield with this pecker sticking out of
your turret, and the enemy's going to unload on you with everything
they got. Might as well put a big red bullseye on the side.
447529,447535c453487,453488
Jones: Do you want me to put a sign on it in fifty languages, "I am a
troop carrier, not a tank. Please don't shoot at me?"
447544,447545c453497,453498
Tom, Dick and Harry who had an opinion on these matters, we'd all
end up with a bunch of B-52s powered by outboard motors.
447552,447553c453505,453506
Major General Partridge: But even a heat-seeking missile can miss a
target.
447556,447557c453509,453510
missile find its target, and that the surface temperature of the
vehicle was so high it could have fried an egg at twenty feet!
447565,447566c453518,453522
[the generals want to add a rapid-fire cannon to the Bradley]
Jones: Where am I supposed to put the extra ammo?
Col. Robert Laurel Smith: I don't know.
Jones: You've already got 30,000 rounds of machine gun ammunition,
now he wants to add 30-millimeter shells?
447568,447569c453524,453525
Jones: He can't have his ammo, not unless he runs alongside this
thing carrying it.
447571c453527,453528
Col. Robert Laurel Smith: In summation, what you have before you
is...
447577,447580c453534
is what we're building?
447591,447606d453544
447622,447626c453560,453564
Lt. Colonel James Burton: You know what's really ironic? General Omar
Bradley was a brilliant tactician, and a great leader. No ego, just
did the job. And he always looked out for the morale and safety of
his men. And then they go and put his name on THIS thing. Talk
about a kick in the ass.
447632c453570
Major General Partridge: What? I'll have his ass in a sling so
447636,447639c453574,453577
Congressman #1: Did you, or did you not confront Colonel Burton at
the Pentagon pharmacy and say to him, "If I hear one more word
about your - expletive deleted - report, you're gonna be sitting on
your brains"?
447645,447647c453583,453585
Madame Chairwoman: I ask you General, filling the fuel tanks with
WATER before a test to check the combustibility of those tanks,
that wasn't devious?
447650c453588
Congressman #1: Isn't that the point?
447652c453590
able to run additional tests!
452106a458045,458048
# Pixel Perfect (2004) (TV)
Loretta Modern: Touching is not the only way to feel.
452300,452302d458241
452372,452374d458310
452424,452450d458359
454825,454826c460734,460735
strong and have courage, don't treat them any less THAN that
because they're young.
456395a462305,462311
# Power Rangers Time Force - Quantum Ranger: Clash for Control (2001) (V)
Eric Myers: Listen and learn Brickneck. I'm not just any Power
Ranger. Not by a long shot. I am the Quantum Ranger.
Brickneck: I don't care what you call yourself. But I call you
destroyed!
458534a464451,464458
Westley: Roberts had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. He took me
to his cabin and he told me his secret. 'I am not the Dread Pirate
Roberts' he said. 'My name is Ryan; I inherited the ship from the
previous Dead Pirate Roberts, just as you will inherit it from me.
The man I inherited it from is not the real Dead Pirate Roberts
either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Roberts has been retired
15 years and living in Patagonia.'
460422c466346
[on "private traps"]
460425c466349,466351
Norman Bates: I do.
[laughing]
Norman Bates: But I say I don't.
460432,460436c466358,466362
Norman Bates' Mother: [in police custody, as Norman is thinking]
They're probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what
kind of a person I am. I'm not even going to swat that fly. I hope
they are watching... they'll see. They'll see and they'll know, and
they'll say, "Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly..."
460441,460442c466367,466372
Norman Bates' Mother: I will not hide in the fruit cellar! Ha! You
think I'm fruity, huh?
Marion Crane: Thank you.
Norman Bates: Thank you, Norman.
Marion Crane: Thank you... Norman.
461437a467368,467370
Jules: My name's Pitt, and your ass ain't talkin' your way outta this
shit.
461747,461748c467680,467682
Steven: Don't be scared, 'cuz I'm Funny Steve... with a lampshade on
his head. Singing and dancing, for your entertainment, his own
rendition of "Singin' in the Rain"!
461825,461827d467758
461854c467785
response. No. Not vengeance. This, is punishment.
462718c468649
bones. We're going to dismember him and bleed him dry.
462734c468665
Lestat: Mmmmm... I imagine they are... Yes...!
467498a473430,473433
Jim Smith: English names are so mysterious, don't you think?
Hancock: Oh, yes. I knew an 'Arry Trubshawe and a Bert 'Iggins once.
Dead mysterious they were.
468117c474052
# Red Riding Hood (1989)
468166a474102,474105
# Red Riding Hoodwinked (1955)
Granny: Oooh, one of these days... POW! Right in the kisser!
469817a475757,475760
Ditto: [to a lipstick lesbian in a bar] This is my boyfriend Max.
He's gonna take me home and fuck me like the bitch I am. You wanna
join us?
471040c476983
Doc Mandel: hey look its Harvey!... it wasn't my fault Harvey, we ran
471043c476986,476988
Joey: I feel like we've been here before. You... Me... Them!
Zombie: BRRRAAAAAINNNNSSSS!
471814c477759
why he can't give a tip to the postman]
471821c477766
Clouseau: Special delivery - a bomb [pronounced "beaumbe"]! Were you
471828a477774,477777
[about Clouseau]
Police Commissioner: You knew him intimately.
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: I hated him intimately!
474828a480778,480803
Duncan: Curse those Moors and Saracens. If it wasn't for their
ungodly ways, master Robin would never have left. What sort of name
is Azeem? Scottish, Cornish?
Azeem: Moorish.
Guy of Gisborne: Harboring felons, are you milady?
Marian: They're thieves you imbecile. They're stealing my horses.
Guy of Gisborne: Lucky they didn't steal you're virtue as well.
# Robin Williams: Live at the Met (1986) (TV)
Robin Williams: Then comes a very special time. Your first test as a
father. A diper... you're ready. You may have been a lumberjack...
you may have been a marine... you may have seen blood and guts. But
you've never seen caca like this. it's incredible stuff; part toxic
waste, part velcro.
Robin Williams: You try and do special things for your kid. I thought
"I'll take him to Disneyland. That'll be fun." Disneyland for a
three year old... Mickey Mouse for a three year old... bullshit.
Mickey Mouse to a three year old is a six foot fucking rat!
Robin Williams: You know in England if you commit a crime, the police
don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. So if you commit a
crime: "Stop! Or, or I'll say stop again!"
477789a483765,483769
# Romper Stomper (1992)
Sonny Jim: We came to smash everything and ruin your life. God sent
us.
479395a485376,485380
[Henry has just discovered Royal is feigning his illness]
Henry Sherman: How much is he paying you?
[pause]
Pagoda: I don't know what you're talking about.
480472a486458,486460
Rankin Fitch: Gentlemen, trials are too important to be left to
juries.
482986a488975
[last lines]
482993a488983
[first lines]
483095,483096c489085,489086
Veal Chop: [talking to Same and Eddie about Hannah] I tried to put my
tongue in her mouth and she punched me in the penis.
483110c489100
door]
483116,483117c489106,489107
Bernie Jr: This is Big Fat Bernie Gale Jr.
Sam: Oh hello, Little Big Fat.
483119,483120c489109,489110
Veal Chop: By the time I get home, flip on Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman,
I'm looking at 36 thousand of his hard earned female deer
483138,483139c489128,489129
Patrick Singer: No... no, no, no, no. I left 'cause I figured if I
was gonna be alone, I could do that by myself.
483147a489138,489143
Izzy Singer: It's pretty tense around here huh?
Alfred Singer: She's in crisis mode.
Izzy Singer: Loud music?
Alfred Singer: Mussorgsky.
Izzy Singer: Uh-oh.
483711a489708,489718
# Sanam Bewafa (1991)
Ruksar Khan: Mujhey Allah ki kasam, tumse pyar ho gaya, bina Id ke hi
chand ka deedar ho gaya... I swear to God I am in love with you,
even without Id, I have seen my moon...
Ruksar Khan: Chudhi mazaa na deghi, kangan mazaa na degha, tere
veghar sajan, sawan mazaa na degha... My anklets are no fun, my
bangles are no fun, without you sweetheart, the monsoon season is
no fun...
484325a490333,490337
# Sapnay (1997)
Thomas: Chanda re chanda kabhi to zamin pe aa... O moon come sometime
to Earth...
484686a490699,490705
Alex Trebek: This is a video Daily Double.
Ricky Martin: [film clip of Ricky Martin singing "Hot, Hot, Hot!"
while holding a tea cup] What type of tea is in my cup?
Keanu Reaves: Is it iced tea?
Alex Trebek: No, it is not iced tea, you moron!
Keanu Reaves: Then, I'm afraid I don't know.
485333,485349d491351
486123c492125
[Grace disagrees]
486145a492148,492154
Jacques Chevalier: Do I look like I would cut someone's finger off?
Grace Trevethyn: Oh, yes.
Jacques Chevalier: Thank you.
Vicar Gerald Percy: I like Matthew. He's a good soul... for a
Scotsman.
486820a492830,492837
Winston Heinrich: You're sitting in corporate territory now, Mr.
Sands. And in this little piece of the world, the law begins and
ends with me. Do not try my patience.
Sylvia: This isn't aspirin. It's Chronotin. Father Time. The
anti-aging drug? I looked last night.
Lenny: So what do you want? Your junior detective badge?
487176,487180c493193,493198
Elvira Hancock: You son of a bitch!... you fuck!...
[throws wine in Tony's face]
Elvira Hancock: HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! What makes you so
much better than me? What do you do? Kill people? Deal your drugs?
Real contribution to human history Tony! What makes you think you
can be a father? You don't even know how to be a good husband!
487764a493783,493798
Dwight Hartman: I know what you thinking. That I fire three shots or
a hundred and seventeen. Well, do you feel lucky, [pause] punk? Do
you [pause] feel lucky? [says faster] Do you feel lucky, punk?
Hell House Ghost: Shot me, motherfucker.
Dwight Hartman: I know what you thinking. That I fire three shots or
a hundred and seventeen? Well, do you feel lucky, [pause] punk? Do
you [pause] feel lucky? [says faster] Do you feel lucky, punk?
Hell House Ghost: Shoot me, motherfucker.
Buddy: Are you OK, Dwight?
Dwight Hartman: I can't... I can't feel my legs. [pause] Aaahahaha, I
can't feel my legs.
Ray Wilkins: You never could.
Dwight Hartman: You stay out of this, all right?
488165a494200,494212
U-God: You stepped on my shoe, bitch!
Redman: Man, call me a bitch again and I'll park your truck - dead in
yo ass.
Macy Gray: DAMN, HOMEY!
CJ: Hey yo, they comin! Over here!
RZA: If I was you, son, I'd bust this shit right now.
Method Man: Ya Momma!
U-God: I got your number, too, homey.
Master P: He ain't gonna bust nuthin. I got nuts bigger than him.
RZA: Oh, yeah, I'll roll up on you too - country ass maple syrup
eatin' nigga.
Master P: Ya'll want some biscuits? You want some biscuits?
488266c494313
through nose] Women! What can you say? Who made 'em? God must have
488278a494326,494327
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: [shouting] I'm in the dark, here!
488288c494337
[Slade knew her face cleanser, by scent]
488839a494889,494890
Dewey Finn: I have a hangover and the runs.
488971a495023,495034
Dewey Finn: Katie, what was that thing you were playing today, the
big thing?
Katie: Cello.
Dewey Finn: Ok. This is a bass guitar. And it's the exact same thing
but instead of playing it like this you tip it on the side...
cello, you got a bass.
Dewey Finn: Give me a platform. Let's rock, let's rock, today. Now do
it to me.
Lawrence: Let's rock, let's rock, today.
Dewey Finn: That's good. Slap it, shoot it, ka-boot it.
489007c495070
accessories]
489018a495082,495086
Evil Masked Figure: Mystery Incorporated, once again you have proven
useless before my power. Because of you soon Coolsville will be
mine
Heather: darn it! thank alot, the scoop of the night gone. can't you
do anything right
490533c496601
[George has awoken Red after loosing a fight]
490548c496616
Riddle: [On Radio talking about a match race with Seabiscuit] It
490572c496640
his pocket] You know I play with this all the time, too. No matter
490595c496663
[Red is not eating his food at the dinner table]
490613c496681
advantages of a car over a horse]
490638a496707,496718
[after losing a photo finish horse race]
Red Pollard: It's not my fault. Not this time.
Tom Smith: I told you, look out for Rosemont!
Red Pollard: I thought I had it!
Tom Smith: You stopped ridin'!
Red Pollard: I couldn't see him!
Tom Smith: What the hell are you talking about? He was flyin' up your
tail!
Red Pollard: Yeah, well, I can't...
Tom Smith: What?
Red Pollard: ...SEE out there!
490788,490789c496868,496869
Laurie Jorgensen: "She wasn't nearly as old as you are." HOW OLD DOES
HE THINK I AM?
492083,492086d498162
492095,492096c498171,498172
Virus: Hey! How about Carla Morgan? I hear she's half Jewish!
[Miosky slaps Virus across the face]
492099c498175
Dags: A blonde Japanese. Hmmmm.
492198,492199c498274,498275
Miss Milford: Students, this the tomb and eternal flame of J. Edgar
Hoover. He was founder and director of the FBI from 1924 to his
492202a498279,498282
Miss Milford: Hmm.
Meg: Why can't we see Kennedy's eternal flame?
Principal Moss: You people don't deserve Kennedy.
Wanda Baker: Who's Kennedy?
492250c498330
Herbert Jones: What we need is a miracle.
492253c498333
Dags, Reggie: Oh. That was us.
492307c498387,498396
Marianne Dashwood: One can only presume she wants to count it. What
are you doing?
Elinor Dashwood: Presents for the servants. Have you seen Margaret by
the way? I'm worried about her. She's taken to hiding in the oddest
places.
Marianne Dashwood: Fortunate girl. At least she can escape Fanny
which is more than any of us is able.
Elinor Dashwood: You do your best. You've not said a word to her in a
week.
Marianne Dashwood: I have. I've said "yes" and "no".
492340,492342c498429,498432
is how hard she tries to justify Mr Willoughby. But you know her
disposition.
Colonel Brandon: Miss Dashwood, would you allow me to relate to you
some circumstances, which nothing but an honest desire to ease your
492345,492357c498435,498446
Colonel Brandon: When I quitted Barton last... no, I must go further
back. No doubt... no doubt Mrs. Jennings has apprised you of
certain events in my past. The sad outcome of my connection with a
young woman named Eliza. What is not commonly known is that twenty
years ago, Eliza bore an illegitimate child, the father, whoever he
was, abandoned them. As she lay dying, Eliza begged me to look
after the child. I had failed Eliza in every other way, I could not
refuse her now. I took the child - Beth is her name - and placed
her with a family in the country where I could be sure she would be
well looked after. I saw her whenever I could. But she grew up so
headstrong, and God forgive me, I indulged her. I allowed her too
much freedom. A year ago, she disappeared.
492359,492360c498448,498449
Colonel Brandon: I instigated a search, but for eight months I was
left to imagine the worst. Finally, on the day of the Delaford
492362,492363c498451
the blackguard who had left her with no hint of his whereabouts...
492366,492367c498454,498456
Colonel Brandon: Before I could return to confront him, Lady Allen
had learned of his conduct and turned him from the house. He fled
to London.
492370,492372c498459,498461
Colonel Brandon: Lady Allen had annulled his legacy, he was left with
next to nothing and in danger of losing Combe Magna and all the
money that remained to his debtors.
492374,492382c498463,498472
thousand pounds. [pause] Is Beth still in town?
Colonel Brandon: She has chosen to return to the country for her
confinement. I would not have burdened you with this, Miss
Dashwood, had I not in my heart believed that it would, in time,
lessen your sister's suffering. [pause] I have described Mr.
Willoughby as the worst of libertines. But I have since learned
from Lady Allen that he did mean to propose that day. And so I
cannot deny that his intentions towards Marianne were honourable,
and I feel certain that he would have married her. Had it not
been...
493905a499996,500001
# Sexo, pudor y lágrimas (1999)
María: Men look for a woman that is a lady at he table and a slut in
bed.
Ana: Well, I've always been a lady in bed and a slut at the table.
495663,495672c501759,501767
[Wilson is trying to goad Torrey into drawing on him]
Wilson: I guess they named a lot of that Southern trash after old
Stonewall.
Stonewall Torrey: Who'd they name you after? Or do you know?
Wilson: I'm saying that Stonewall Jackson was trash himself. Him and
Lee and the rest of them rebs. You, too.
Stonewall Torrey: You're a low-down lyin' Yankee!
Wilson: Prove it.
None: [Torrey goes for his gun, Wilson outdraws him and kills him]
496717c502812
[Red places his bet on Andy]
496723c502818
[Andy after Warden Norton refuse to appeal his case]
496779c502874
[On Red's harmonica playing]
496872c502967
[Andy has asked Red to procure Rita Hayworth]
496959c503054
[Playing checkers]
497032c503127
[Tommy and Red are talking about Andy]
497035c503130
Tommy Williams: [Impressed] The hell you say!
497065c503160
Andy Dufresne: What was his name?
497067c503162
Andy Dufresne: I was just wondering if anybody knew his name.
499661,499663c505756,505759
Shrek: Oh no no no, dead broad OFF THE TABLE!
Dwarf: Well where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken.
Shrek: What?
Big Bad Wolf: [dressed as Grandmother in bed] What?
500010a506107,506142
Princess Fiona: [as ogre] Donkey, shh, shh it's me... in this body.
Donkey: *gasp* YOU ATE THE PRINCESS?
# Shrek 2 (2004)
Prince Charming: Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, the
king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, and
throughout the land everyone was happy, until the sun went down,
and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful
enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they
sought the help of a fairy godmother, who had them lock the young
princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss of the handsome
Prince Charming. It was he who would chance the perilous journey
through blistering cold and scorching desert, traveling for many
days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the dragon's keep,
for he was the bravest, and most handsome in all the land, and it
was destiny that his kiss would break the dreaded curse. He alone
would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to enter the
princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette,
pull back the gossamer curtains to find her- gasp!
The Wolf: What?
Prince Charming: Princess... Fiona?
The Wolf: NO!
Prince Charming: Oh, thank heavens! Where is she?
The Wolf: She's on her honeymoon.
Prince Charming: Honeymoon? With whom?
Puss-in-Boots: I hate Mondays.
[Shrek, Donkey, and Puss are at a bar]
The Ugly Stepsister: Why the long face?
Donkey: Oh, Shrek. Don't worry. Things just seem bad because it's
dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack
you.
502455c508587
[Everyone is seasick from being towed in the wake of a giant fish]
502461c508593
[Going to rescue Marina from a giant bird]
502467c508599
[She stares at him]
502484,502486c508616,508617
[it is cold and Kale is bare-chested]
Sinbad: Put a shirt on before you poke someone's eye out!
508942,508943d515072
509002c515131
[Jerry notices the badge of an undercover agent at a nearby table]
509794a515924,515926
Shadow: That blue hedgehog like me... what did the doctor say about
my memory... and just who am I?
509799a515932,515965
Shadow: You'll regret this doctor. Even if I'm not real, I'm still
the ultimate life form, Shadow the Hedgehog!
Metal Sonic: Long time no see, Sonic! My loathsome copy!
Metal Sonic: Sonic, I was created for the sole purpose of destroying
you, but I can never seem to defeat you. That is why I rebuilt my
own body with my own hands!
Metal Sonic: See me as I am, no longer afraid of anything!
Metal Sonic: WHY? I HAD IT ALL! I am the ultimate overlord, Metal
Sonic! I AM THE REAL SONIC!
Metal Sonic: It's no use... but why can't I defeat you?
Sonic: Because... we're Sonic Heroes!
Shadow: Just a fake... like I thought...
Sonic: All right, Eggman, let's get this party started!
Vector: Once we start a job, we finish the job! That's our policy!
We're Team Chaotix!
Vector: There you are, you moustache moron! He's the one, right?
Dr. Eggman: Moustache moron? I'm the world's grea-... AHEM!... Take
him out... quickly!
Sonic: Any time you want a rematch, just let me know. I'll be
waiting!
Sonic: All right! Our next adventure awaits us, so there's no time to
waste! Yeah! We're Sonic Heroes!
511033c517199
They were probably translated by some gringo who was an expatriate
511056c517222
Jerry O'Neill: You can call me [kisses her hand] anytime.
511088c517254
Jay Leno: Now you all have military backgrounds... North or South?
512548c518714
gotta bring it up? [on phone] Uh, the license is as follows:
512554,512555c518720,518721
Mr. Benson: What's this? A Volvo? A Volvo! Pass it! Pass it, pass it!
[winds down window] Why don't you go back to Sweden, ya bunch of
512593c518759
[Flash climbs into the car]
512596a518763,518776
Alec: Look, what would Big Wally rather have? Me dead or his fifty
grand?
Vic DeRubis: Both.
Tiffany: You really want to win this thing, don't you?
Charlie Cronin: Oh, absolutely. I mean winning the Cannonball. That's
something you tell your grandkids about.
Tiffany: You're a grandfather? You look so young.
Charlie Cronin: Oh no, I'm not a grandfather yet. I hope to have
grandkids someday, but I'm not a grandfather yet.
Tiffany: Oh, I see what you mean. It's nice to have things in your
life that are important. But to do the things you want to do, you
have to do things you don't want to do.
512963c519143
[Bangs the gavel]
512981c519161
[Geri and Mel B are playing chess on the Spice Bus]
513013c519193
Posh: You love it really Emma, you you play up to it all the time.
513015c519195
Posh: Yes you do.You're doing it now.
513026,513028c519206,519208
Sporty: Dunno what you're so upset about. You should be thankful
we're all right!
Posh: This dress is dry clean only, Melanie!
514157a520338,520342
Anna Grimsdottir: Oh my God.
Sam Fisher: What?
Irving Lambert: What?
Anna Grimsdottir: The terrorists have remotely triggered a bomb.
514765a520951,520954
Sheriff: [making love to his girl in an empty jail cell] How do you
like the accomodations?
The Sheriff's Girl: Just fine, honey!
514957a521147,521153
Eve Gill: I'm afraid the murder might come here madam. Might get into
the dressing room. Might even murder me madam. I'm surprised you're
not a bit afraid yourself.
Charlotte Inwood: The theatre is the last place he would be seen. Now
stop acting like a silly schoolgirl, the only murderer here is the
orchestra leader!
514965c521161
Marshal Curly Wilcox: You can find another wife.
514987,514989c521183,521184
Marshal Curly Wilcox: This stage is going to Lordsburg. If you think
it isn't safe, we can get there without you soldier boys.
515000,515004c521195,521199
Marshal Curly Wilcox: Now folks, if we push on we can get to Apache
Wells by sundown. Soldiers there will give us an escort as far as
the ferry. After that, it's a hoot and a holler to Lordsburg. We
got four men who handle firearms - five with you, Ringo. Doc can
shoot if sober.
515008c521203
Marshal Curly Wilcox: You, Doc?
515024c521219
were..." Leave that blank for a spell.
515035c521230
Marshal Curly Wilcox: Let who?
515042a521238,521252
[first lines]
Cavalry scout: These hills here are full of Apaches. They've burnt
every ranch building in sight. [referring to Indian scout] He had a
brush with them last night. Says they're being stirred up by
Geronimo.
Capt. Sickel: Geronimo? How do we know he isn't lying?
Cavalry scout: No, he's a Cheyenne. They hate the Apaches worse than
we do.
[last lines]
Dr. Josiah Boone: Well, they're saved from the blessings of
civilization.
Marshal Curly Wilcox: Yeah. [laughs] Doc, I'll buy you a drink.
Dr. Josiah Boone: Just one.
515546a521757,521767
# Star (1982)
Maya: Dil bhole boom boom boom... My heart sings boom boom boom...
Dev Kumar: Ek do kahene bhi do, teen char ho gaya pyar, main to chala
jaise bahar... One two, let me say, three four fall in love, I move
forward like spring...
Maya: Yeh dil tere liye hai, yeh jaan tere liye hai... My heart is
for you, my life is for you...
516045a522267,522271
Scotty: [studying the Klingon bird-of-prey's helm] Where's the damn
anti-matter inducer?
Cmdr. Pavel Chekov: That?... no, *that*!
Scotty: That or nothing.
516277a522504,522506
Ambassador Sarek: [Starfleet cannot communicate with the probe] It is
difficult to answer when one does not understand the question.
516443c522672
[on whether to help the Klingons]
516448c522677,522680
Captain James T. Kirk: Let them die! [Pauses... Spock cocks his head
in surprise. Kirk recoils and proceeds] Has it occured to you that
this crew is due to stand down in three months? We've done our bit
for king and country! You should have trusted me.
517330c523562
Data: Move, puny Human Animal.
517356,517358c523588,523591
Picard: This has nothing to do with my ship.
Shinzon: Oh, but it does! We will no longer bow before anyone as
slaves. Not the Romulans and not your mighty Federation. We are a
race bred for war... and conquest.
517444,517446d523676
517464c523694
Shinzon: [to Donatra] If you ever TOUCH me again... I'll kill you.
519179a525410,525419
Dexter Jettster: This baby belongs to them cloners. What you got here
is a Kamino Saberdart.
Obi-Wan: I wonder why it didn't show up in the alaysis archives.
Dexter Jettster: It's these funny little cuts on the side that give
it away. Those analysis droids only focus on symbols. Huh! I should
think that you Jedi would have more respect for the difference
between knowledge and... heh heh heh... wisdom.
Obi-Wan: Well if droids could think, there'd be none of us here,
would there?
519515c525755
Captain Piett: Yes, my lord?
520075a526316,526320
Princess Leia: [Leia has been captured by Jabba] We have powerful
friends. You're going to regret this.
Jabba the Hutt: [in Huttese] I'm sure. [Jabba sticks out his tongue
to lick Leia's face]
520293c526538
Tank Captain: What is you major malfunction?
520298,520305c526543,526548
area, and... you pig!
Jim Raynor: What! I haven't even said anything to you yet.
Lt. Sarah Kerrigan: Yeah, but you were thinking it.
Jim Raynor: Oh, yeah! you're a telepath.
[referring to the mission]
Jim Raynor: Look, Lets just get on with this, ok?
520323c526566
Zerg. They shouldn't be out this far unless... oh shit.
520331,520332c526574,526575
Ghost: I'm about to overload my aggression inhibitors. Keep it up...
I dare ya.
520398c526641
Aldaris: Who is this human, Tassadar?
520432c526675
Arise, my daughter. Arise... Kerrigan.
520434c526677
Jim Raynor: Are you goin' to kill me now, darlin'?
520459c526702,526703
you to ashes. You and your ilk cease to amuse me. Prepare yourself
for oblivion's embrace.
520461,520463c526705,526706
Infested Kerrigan: Now, Protoss, you shall know my wrath. Now you
will know the fury of the Queen of Blades!
520476c526719
children. We shall be... Perfect.
520484c526727
wrath of the eternal Swarm... For the hour of judgement has come!
520499,520500c526742
Jim Raynor: Glad to see you, boys. Time to kick some serious butt.
520503c526745
Jim Raynor: Whatever it is, it ain't natural. Burn it, boys.
520505,520506c526747,526748
Jim Raynor: Guess you wouldn't be a Confederate if you weren't a
complete pain in the ass.
520516c526758
Jim Raynor: Zerg! I don't believe this!
520531,520532c526773
Jim Raynor: I can't believe you're really going to trust this snake!
520540,520541c526781,526782
Jim Raynor: So, the Zerg are here for you, darlin'? This keeps
getting better and better...
520545,520546c526786,526787
sewn, and if we hope to reap...
Jim Raynor: Aw, to hell with you!
520548,520549c526789,526790
Jim Raynor: It's funny... It seems like yesterday Arcturus was the
idealistic rebel crusader. Now he's the law, and we're the
520556c526797
[Kerrigan fights Tassadar, but he vanished into thin air]
523969a530211,530223
Birdie: Oh, what?... Before? I looked pale because I was sick!
Cammy White: Minor damage... Memory error! What am I doing here...?
Dan Hibiki: Sore loser! Don't go around beating up inanimate objects!
Cody: After waiting so long, it feels good to do more than two moves!
Charlie: I'm sorry... Are you mad at me? Did I "tick" you off? Ha!
Ha!
Gen: We will all die. The question is when, why, and how painfully.
524096a530351,530354
E Honda: It's natural for a sumo to be the world's stongest
Zangief: Next time we meet I'm gonna break your arms!
524653a530912,530914
Tom Hardy: I've never had a woman partner before.
Jo Christman: Neither have I.
526904,526905c533165,533169
Norma Desmond: Don't be silly. [hands Joe a present] Here, I was
going to give it to you at midnight.
Joe Gillis: Norma, I can't take it, you've bought me enough.
Norma Desmond: Shut up, I'm rich! I'm richer than all this new
Hollywood trash! I've got a million dollars.
526907,526908c533171,533184
Norma Desmond: Own three blocks downtown, I've got oil in
Bakersfiled, pumping, PUMPING, pumping! What's it for but to buy us
anything we want!
Joe Gillis: Cut out that "us" business!
Norma Desmond: What's the matter with you?
Joe Gillis: What right do you have to take me for granted?
Norma Desmond: What right? Do you want me to tell you?
Joe Gillis: Has it ever occurred to you that I may have a life of my
own? That there may be some girl I'm crazy about?
Norma Desmond: Who? Some car hop, or dress extra?
Joe Gillis: What I'm trying to say is that I'm all wrong for you. You
want a Valentino, somebody with polo ponies, a big shot!
Norma Desmond: What you're trying to say is that you don't want me to
love you. Say it. Say it! [slaps him hard across the face]
530285,530286c536561,536562
Trent: Look at this, OK? I want you to remember this face. This is
the guy behind the guy behind the guy.
530295a536572
[Trent talks a girl into meeting them later and bringing a friend]
530297a536575
[on the way to Las Vegas]
530300a536579
[Why Sue carries a gun]
530316a536596
[Playing a hockey video game]
530334c536614
Sue: ...big fucking teeth, man.
530373,530378c536653,536655
Trent: Did she, or did she not smile.
Mike: She was smiling at what an asshole you are.
Trent: She was smiling at how money I am, baby.
530388a536666
[Why he was turned down for the part of Goofy]
530398c536676
a bad man. You're a bad man, Mikey. You're a bad man, bad man.
530513a536792
[bemoaning his audition for role of Goofy at Disney Land]
530524c536803
Sue: Just because I had the balls to stand up to those guys...
530767a537047,537049
Gabriel: Hurry up Stan, she's dying.
Stanley: Shut the FREAK up!
530989a537272,537276
# T-Men (1947)
The Schemer: How did you find me?
Dennis O'Brien: I could smell you.
533182a539470,539472
Alex Jurel: [to his class] If you're not here, speak up. [the class
laughs]
533763a540054,540072
Splinter: For 15 years now, we have lived here. Before that time, I
was a pet of my master Yoshi. When we were forced to come to New
York, I found myself for the first time without a home, wandering
thew sewers, scavaging for whatever I could find. And then, one
day, I came upon a shattered glass jar and four baby turtles.
Michaelangelo: That was us. Hee hee.
Donatello: Shut up. Oh no!
Splinter: The little ones were crawling into a strange glowing ooze
from a broken canister near by. I gathered them up in an old coffee
can and when I awoke the next morning, I received a shock. For they
had doubled in size. I, too, was growing. Particularly in
intellect. I was amazed how intelligent they seemed, but nothing
could have prepared me for what happened next: one of them spoke!
More words followed, and I began their training. Teaching them all
that I had learned from my master. And soon, I gave them all names:
Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Donatello and Raphael.
April: I'm not dreaming, am I?
Splinter: No. I'm afraid not.
536139,536140c542448,542450
[Keith and Molly just discovered her parents together in the next
room]
Keith Marks: I thought they hated each other?
536462c542772
Stanley Laurel: We don't burn candles, we've got an electric light.
536464,536478c542774,542790
Stanley Laurel: Your bath's ready.
Ollie Hardy: You know I can't take a bath with this foot. And
besides, it isn't Saturday.
Ollie Hardy: [They have arrived at a clearing up in the mountains]
Isn't this ideal?
Stanley Laurel: It sure is. One month up here and we wouldn't know
each other. We've got a well and water and lot's of it and
everything.
Ollie Hardy: Go in and ask the folks if they mind if we park here.
[Stan goes up to the door, knocks on it, it opens and the building is
empty]
Ollie Hardy: Anyone home?
Stanley Laurel: Not now but there was a minute ago.
Ollie Hardy: Who was it?
Stanley Laurel: It was me. You see I was knocking on the door and...
Ollie Hardy: Nevermind the details. C'mon let's get some food, I'm
536481,536495c542793,542807
Stanley Laurel: Why don't we get one of those trailers to hook on the
back of your car. That's much better than sleeping in a tent.
Wouldn't have to worry about flies.
Ollie Hardy: Can you take one of those things up into the mountains?
Stanley Laurel: Sure, right up in the high multitude. What do you
think?
Ollie Hardy: We can't afford to buy one of those trailers.
Stanley Laurel: We don't have to buy one, we could rent one. I know a
fellow who's got one for rent and I'll bet we can get it for next
to nothing. I'll bet if we pay cash we can get it less than that.
What do you think?
The Doctor: That's the worst case of gout I ever saw.
Ollie Hardy: What causes it?
The Doctor: Too much high living.
Stanley Laurel: In that case we'd better move down to the basement.
536498,536501c542810,542813
Ollie Hardy: Get up, Stanley, let the lady sit down, and fix us
something to eat. Where are you going?
Stanley Laurel: I'm going to look for a horse.
Ollie Hardy: Sit down!
536967a543280,543284
Street Preacher: Outside the limit of our sight, feeding off us,
perched on top of us, from birth to death, are our owners! Our
owners! They have us. They control us! They are our masters! Wake
up! They're all about you! All around you!
537257a543575,543576
Brandi Web: I don't know what your selling... but I'm not buying.
537953a544273,544279
Melanie: What is that?
Tracy: [whispers] It's a belly-button ring.
Melanie: Speak up, I can't hear you.
Tracy: ITS A BELLY-BUTTON RING!HOW ESLE CAN I SAY IT I DON'T SPEAK NO
OTHER LANGUAGES! Oh, and you wanna know what that is is, [sticks
out her tongue] that is a tongue ring.
540808,540810d547133
540914c547237
[the Ogres have caught the Time Bandits and Kevin in their fishing
540917c547240
Winston the Ogre: You mean eat their boots?
540928c547251
Randall: Oh don't men - What?
540965c547288,547290
Randall: Heh heh. We can explain everything, sir. It's not as bad as
it looks. We... We just borrows the map and... Sort of got rather
happy about it and... Ran off in high spirits. [They laugh]
540967,540968c547292,547294
Strutter: That's not Him.
Fidgit: That didn't sound like Him, did it?
Wally: It doesn't even look like Him!
540970c547296,547314
Randall: Let's get him! [They all pounce on Kevin]
Randall: Strutter, get his torch! Shine it right in the face.
[Strutter shines the torch full in Randall's face] His face, dummy!
Announcer: An infrared freezer-oven complex that can make you a meal
from packet to plate in 13 1/2 seconds.
Kevin's Mother: Morrisons have got one that can do that in eight
seconds.
Kevin's Father: Oh?
Kevin's Mother: Block of ice to Beef Bourguignon in eight seconds.
Lucky things.
Kevin's Father: Well, at least we've got a two speed hedge cutter.
Kevin's Father: [a knight on horseback had burst out of Kevin's
closet, messed about the room and rode away; The door bursts open]
What the hell is going on up here? I told you to put that light out
and get to bed.
Kevin: But...
Kevin's Father: And no more NOISE!
542860c549204
view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.
542864c549208
bluff. [After they get home] There's a lot of ugly things in this
542875c549219
Macomb County. And Bob Ewell fell on his knife. Good night sir.
542894,542896c549238,549239
Scout: May I see your watch? "To Atticus, My Beloved Husband."
Atticus, Jem says this watch is gonna belong to him some day.
542898c549241
Scout: Why?
542901c549244
Scout: What are you gonna give me?
542903,542904c549246,549247
belongs to me... But there's a pearl necklace; there's a ring that
belonged to your mother. And I've put them away, and they're to be
542908,542909c549251,549252
that I should never point it at anything in the house; and that
he'd rather I'd shoot at tin cans in the backyard. But he said that
542911,542912c549254,549255
be too much, and that I could shoot all the blue jays I wanted - if
I could hit 'em; but to remember it was a sin to kill a
542923,542926c549266,549269
Older Scout: [narrating] Macomb was a tired old town, even in 1932
when I first knew it. Somehow, it was hotter then. Men's stiff
collars wilted by nine in the morning; ladies bathed before noon
after their 3 o'clock naps. And by nightfall were like soft
542929,542931c549272,549275
there's nowhere to go and nothing to buy... and no money to buy it
with. Although Macomb County had recently been told that it had
nothing to fear but fear itself... That summer, I was six years
old.
542934c549278
Miss Maudie Atkinson: He can do plenty of things... He can make
542940c549284
dangerous... I was standing in my yard one day when his Mama come
542949c549293
with his scissors... Lord knows what he's doin' or thinkin'.
542952c549296
Scout: How old was I when Mama died?
542954c549298
Scout: How old were you?
542956c549300
Scout: Old as I am now?
542958c549302
Scout: ...Was Mama pretty?
542960c549304
Scout: Was Mama nice?
542962c549306
Scout: Did you love her?
542964c549308
Scout: Did I love her?
542966c549310
Scout: Do you miss her?
542972c549316
and the taxpayers lots of trouble...
542984,542988c549328,549332
Scout: Bendin' the law?
Atticus Finch: [slightly bemused] Uh, no. It's an agreement reached
by mutual consent. Now, here's the way it works. You concede the
necessity of goin' to school, we'll keep right on readin' the same
every night, just as we always have. Is that a bargain?
542990c549334
Older Scout: [narrating] There just didn't seem to be anyone or
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admit he was very good at that - but that was *all* he was good
at... we thought.
542996,543005c549340,549349
Older Scout: [narrating] Atticus had promised me he would wear me out
if he ever heard of me fightin' any more. I was far too old and too
big for such childish things, and the sooner I learned to hold in,
the better off everybody would be. I soon forgot... Cecil Jacobs
*made* me forget.
Scout: Atticus, do you defend niggers?
Atticus Finch: [startled] Don't say 'nigger,' Scout.
Scout: I didn't say it... Cecil Jacobs did; that's why I had to fight
him.
543007,543008c549351,549352
Scout: I had to, Atticus, he...
Atticus Finch: I don't care what the reasons are: I forbid you to
543014,543015c549358
Scout: If you shouldn't be defending him, then why are you doing it?
543018,543034c549361,549380
you or Jem not to do somethin' again.
[he puts his arm around her]
Atticus Finch: You're gonna hear some ugly talk about this in school.
But I want you to promise me one thing: That you won't get into
fights over it, no matter what they say to you.
Scout: I said, 'Hey,' Mr. Cunningham. How's your entailment getting
along?
[He turns and looks away]
Scout: Don't you remember me, Mr. Cunningham? I'm Jean Louise Finch.
You brought us some hickory nuts one early morning, remember? We
had a talk. I went and got my daddy to come out and thank you. I go
to school with your boy. I go to school with Walter; he's a nice
boy. Tell him 'hey' for me, won't you? You know something, Mr.
Cunningham, entailments are bad. Entailments...
[She suddenly becomes self-conscious]
Scout: Atticus, I was just saying to Mr. Cunningham that entailments
were bad but not to worry. Takes a long time sometimes...
[To the men who are staring up at her]
Scout: What's the matter? I sure meant no harm, Mr. Cunningham.
543051,543081c549397,549428
Older Scout: [narrating] By October, things had settled down again. I
still looked for Boo every time I went by the Radley place. This
night my mind was filled with Halloween - there was to be a pageant
representing our county's agricultural products; I was to be a ham.
Jem said he would escort me to the school auditorium. Thus began
our longest journey together.
Scout: Why there he is, Mr. Tate. He can tell you his name...
[Looks at the man]
Scout: Hey, Boo.
Atticus Finch: [making introductions] Miss Jean Louise, Mr. Arthur
Radley. I believe he already knows you.
Older Scout: [narrating] Neighbors bring food with death, and flowers
with sickness, and little things in between. Boo was our neighbor.
He gave us two soap dolls, a broken watch and chain, a knife, and
our lives.
Older Scout: [narrating] One time Atticus said you never really knew
a man until you stood in his shoes and walked around in them; just
standin' on the Radley porch was enough. The summer that had begun
so long ago had ended, and another summer had taken its place, and
a fall, and Boo Radley had come out.
Older Scout: [narrating] I was to think of these days many times. Of
Jem, and Dill, and Boo Radley, and Tom Robinson, and Atticus. He
would be in Jem's room all night, and he would be there when Jem
waked up in the morning.
[about Jem]
Scout: You can pet him, Mr. Arthur. He's asleep. Couldn't if he was
awake, though; he wouldn't let you. Go ahead.
543088c549435
Mayellarin' - it don't come to nothin', Mr. Finch, not... no.
543121c549468
Scout: Mr. Tate was right.
543123,543124c549470,549471
Scout: Well, it would be sort of like shooting a mockingbird,
wouldn't it?
543135,543136c549482,549483
reachin' when the next thing I know she... grabbed me aroun' the
legs. [A murmur erupts in the courthouse] She scared me so bad I
543139c549486
left it... Mr. Finch, I got down off the chair, and I turned around
543143c549490
kiss her back. [Tom shakes his head, re-living the ordeal with his
543150c549497
Richard Chance: Uncle Sam don't give a shit about your problems. You
543152a549500,549507
Ruth Lanier: How much do I get for the information I gave you on
Waxman?
Richard Chance: No arrest, no money.
Ruth Lanier: It's my fault he's dead? It took me six months to get
next to him. I got expenses, you know.
Richard Chance: Guess what? Uncle Sam don't give a shit about your
expenses. You want bread, fuck a baker.
543156a549512,549537
Eric 'Rick' Masters: How you making it?
Carl Cody: Like every other swinging dick in this place makes it. Day
by motherfucking day.
Eric 'Rick' Masters: You have my word you won't have to do the whole
nickel.
Carl Cody: What does that mean?
Eric 'Rick' Masters: Grimes is the best lawyer in the state. It'll
either be an appeal bond or a sentence reduction.
Carl Cody: And the check is in the mail, and I love you, and I
promise not to come in your mouth . . .
Carl Cody: He's a lying son of a bitch! He's probably the
motherfucker who did me. He ratted me to the feds. I'll kill him
when I get out! I'm gonna give that fuckin' scumbag a serious
headache. May God strike me dead if I don't waste him.
Richard Chance: I wanna get Rick Masters.
Carl Cody: I've taken four falls, I've never ratted anybody in my
life, and I've had plenty of chances, believe me.
Richard Chance: Masters is your friend. I don't blame you, I would
never hang up a friend. Anybody who would is a piece of shit. Thing
is, your friend tried to have you iced.
Carl Cody: That doesn't mean I'm gonna roll over and play informer.
If you're looking for a pigeon, go to the park.
545528a551910,551935
Vilos Cohaagen: You see, Quaid, none of my people could get near
Quato. Fucking mutants could always sniff us out. That's when
Howzier and I sat down and invented you: Douglas Quaid, the perfect
mole.
Douglas Quaid: You know you're lying. Howzier turned against you.
Vilos Cohaagen: No, Quaid. That's exactly what we wanted you to
think. The truth is Howzier volunteered to become Doug Quaid, to
have all his memories erased. It was the only way to fool the
psychics.
Douglas Quaid: Get your story straight. That idiot over there,
Richter, has been trying to kill me ever since I went to Recall.
You don't send your own men to kill a mole you're trying to plant.
Vilos Cohaagen: That's because Richter wasn't in on it. You set him
off by going to Recall.
Douglas Quaid: So, why am I still alive?
Vilos Cohaagen: We gave you lots of help. Benny here with his driving
skills and wits... that man on Earth with the suitecase containing
the money, the mask, the messages from Howizer. All of that was set
up by us.
Douglas Quaid: Bullshit! I still don't buy it. It's too perfect.
Vilos Cohaagen: Perfect my ass! You go to Recall and pop your memory
chip before we can activate you. Richter goes hog-wild and tries to
kill you, bringing a lot of attention to us and ruining the plans
I've spent a over year to prepare for. To be perfectly honest, I'm
amazed it worked!
545744a552152,552161
# Tower House (1962)
Unknown: Eh mere diley nadan, tu gum se na gabrana, ik din to samaj
lenghi duniya tera apsana... O my dear heart, do not be afraid of
sorrow for one day this world will understand your plight...
Suresh Kumar: Main khush naseeb mujko kisika pyar mila, bada haseen
mere dil ka razdar mila... I am fortunate that I have receive
someone's love, someone beautiful is my soulmate...
545946a552364,552368
# Townies (2004)
[from the trailer]
Reginald: Get to work, Man!
546488c552910
[Channel-surfing]
546497c552919
[Woody's arm is torn]
546511c552933
[She gives Buzz a long kiss]
546525c552947
to come to her rescue]
546534c552956
screw back onto the heat duct]
546546c552968
[Woody's arm is ripped by the Prospector]
546553c552975
[Woody explains his newfound past to his old friends]
546624a553047,553048
Hamm: Turn into the spin, Barbie!
546792c553216
Leslie Zevo: We're going to fight fire with marshmallows.
546900c553324
- they don't know what pressure is. In this building, it's either
546905c553329
Billy Ray Valentine: Yeah, we got to kill the mother - we got to kill
546948c553372
Officer Reynolds: Strip you little shit before I tear you a new
548296a554721,554723
Galvatron: How dare Unicron! Cybertron and all its moons belong to
me!
550065c556492,556500
Agamemnon: A great victory was won today, but that victory was not
yours. Kings do not kneel to Achilles. Kings do not pay homage to
Achilles.
Achilles: Perhaps the kings were too far behind to see: the soldiers
won the battle.
Agamemnon: History remembers KINGS, not soldiers! Tomorrow we'll
batter down the gates of Troy. I'll build monuments for victory on
every island of Greece. I'll carve Agamemnon in the stones.
Achilles: Be careful King of kings. First you need the victory.
550067c556502
Paris: I won't ask you to fight my war.
550069a556505,556632
Priam: Do you love her, my son?
Paris: Father, you are a great king, because you love all of Troy.
That is the way I love Helen.
Hector: You say you're willing to die for love but you know nothing
about dying and you know nothing about love!
Achilles: Before my time is done I will look down on your corpse and
smile.
Hector: All of my life I have lived by a code and the code is simple:
honor the gods, love your woman and defend your country. Troy is
mother to us all. Fight for her!
Hector: Tell me little brother, have you ever killed a man?
Paris: No
Hector: Ever seen a man die in combat?
Paris: No
Hector: I've killed men and I've heard them dying and I've watched
them dying and there's nothing glorious about it.
Achilles: It changes nothing, you're still my enemy come morning.
Priam: You're still my enemy tonight, but even enemies can show
respect.
Helen: Before you came to Sparta, I was a ghost. I walked and I ate
and I swam in the sea. I was just a ghost.
Paris: You don't have to fear tomorrow. Come with me!
Helen: Don't play with me. Don't play.
Paris: If you come, we'll never be safe. Men will hunt us. The Gods
will curse us... but I'll love you. Until the day they burn my
body, I will love you.
Achilles: Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I hear he's good at
charming other men's wives.
Achilles: Is there no one else? Is there no one else?
Helen: You should not have come here tonight.
Paris: That's what you said last night?
Helen: Last night was a mistake.
Paris: And the night before?
Helen: I have made many mistakes this week.
Achilles: You gave me peace in a lifetime of war.
Achilles: [when asked why he let Hector go] It's too early in the day
to kill Princes.
Briseis: You lost your cousin, and now have taken mine. [Achilles
continues sharpening sword]
Achilles: [to his men] Do you know what's waiting beyond that beach?
Immortality! Take it! It's yours!
Achilles: [to Hector] Get up, Prince of Troy! I won't let a stone rob
me of my glory!
Nestor: This will be the greatest war the world has ever seen. We
need the greatest warrior.
Priam: I loved my son from the moment he opened his eyes until the
moment you closed them.
Messenger Boy: They say you can't be killed.
Achilles: Well, I wouldn't be bothering with the shield then, would
I?
Briseis: Why did you choose this life?
Achilles: What life?
Briseis: To be a great warrior.
Achilles: I chose nothing. I was born and this is what I am.
Odysseus: [to Achilles] War is young men dying and old men talking.
Ignore the politics.
Achilles: Imagine a king who fights his own battles. Wouldn't that be
a sight? [goes to fight Boagrius]
Agamemnon: Of all the warlords loved by the gods, I hate him the
most.
Hector: I thought it was you I was fighting yesterday, and I wish it
*had* been you.
Achilles: You won't have eyes tonight, you won't have ears or a
tongue. You will wander the underworld blind, deaf, and dumb, and
all the dead will know, "This is Hector, the fool who thought he
killed Achilles."
Agamemnon: You came here so your name would be remembered in history.
But Kings are remembered - not soldiers. Kings did not surrender to
Achilles. Kings did not bow to Achilles.
Achilles: Maybe kings were too far behind him to see.
Agamemnon: [on the death of Patroclus] That boy may have just saved
the war for us.
Achilles: [To Priam] You're a better king than the one leading this
army.
Hector: I killed a boy today. He was young; too young.
Briseis: I thought you were a dumb brute. I could have forgiven a
dumb brute.
Briseis: Stop! Too many men have died today! If killing is your only
talent, that's your curse. I don't want anyone dying for me.
Achilles: There are no pacts between men and lions.
Achilles: [removing his helmet] Now you know who you are fighting!
Menelaus: May the Gods keep the wolves in the hills and the women in
our beds.
Messenger Boy: The Thessalonian you're fighting, he's the biggest man
I've ever seen. I wouldn't want to fight him.
Achilles: That is why no one will remember your name.
Hector: Sometimes the gods bless you in the morning and curse you in
the afternoon.
Priam: I have endured what no one on earth has endured. I have kissed
the hands of the man who killed my son.
Achilles: Priam?
Ajax: [to his shipmates, as they approach the Trojan beach] Row you
whores! Greeks are dying!
550185a556749,556752
Agent Masterson: Your reputation precedes you, Kang. You're a real
loose cannon and if it were up to me, you wouldn't carry a badge.
Nick: Man, who peed in your coffee?
550256,550257c556823,556824
Rooster Cogburn: [Rooster draws and cocks his pistol] You do and
it'll be the biggest mistake YOU ever made, you Texas brush-popper!
551400a557968,557975
# Tumhare Bina (1982)
Robin, Seema: Dil me aai hai jo baat kahon to bolu re... Words that
are in my heart, may I say them?
Reeta Pandey: Sweety seventeen kali khili hai gulab ki... A sweet
seventeen rose bud has blossomed...
555872c562447
always the same awful stories. And it is the same stories - but
555882c562457
Warren Justice: You already have me around in the morning. How, I
555885a562461,562464
Tally: When I asked you how long you could stay and you said, 'Long
enough,' how long is that? When we're not together...
Warren: ...Everything shuts down.
556165a562745,562793
[first lines]
Ray: [narration] Some fairy tales are true, most of there stories we
make up to help us deal with real life, it all depends on your
point of view, but here are the facts... there was once a princess,
who lived in a castle, high above the streets of an enchanted
kingdom, the king and queen were long gone but they left her with a
treasure, that she would stay a princess forever, on the eve of her
22nd birthday a great celebration was planned...
Molly Gunn: [holding up a ballet costume] So, what do ya think?
Huey: What is it?
Molly Gunn: It's a tutu, silly...
Huey: For what? A midget?
Molly Gunn: No, it's for a little girl named Ray. Her year-end
recital is coming up and the costumes are so boring, so I'd thought
I'd surprise with something spectacular...
Molly Gunn: The last time I saw my mom and dad, I was eight going on
nine... eight years, six months, and three days... almost as old as
you are, they were going on tour and leaving me behind for the
first time, because they didn't want me missing anymore school and
they came to my room to say goodbye and I wouldn't open the door,
so they left. I fell asleep and then the next thing I know, my
nanny was waking me up in the middle of the night telling me their
plane had crashed
Lorraine Schleine: You're lucky... that you were mad, see when you're
mad you don't miss people and if you stay mad, it's like you never
knew them at all... that way you don't have to feel sucky about
it... you were lucky...
Molly Gunn: I wasn't mad, I was confused... everyone was talking and
I couldn't understand a word they were saying and then their voices
became a blur and soon I couldn't even recognize their faces, they
were like these blobs and they started to grow fangs and their eyes
became green and I knew I had to runaway, so I packed my knapsack,
got on the train, and looked up at the map and decided I wanted to
live on Coney Island, I thought it would be... you know... a real
island. That I thought I could hide their like Tom Sawyer and
Huckleberry Fin, but imagine my surprise... the teacups were the
only ride they would let me on by myself, so I got on it and I
started spinning around and 'round and 'round. But I feel like I am
still there... spinning 'round and 'round and 'round... and the
ride won't stop... you were right, Ray, I am scared, but you're
scared too, you're scared as I am and I thought that maybe if we
could go together...
Molly Gunn: Look at the one hit wonder that slut turned out to be...
Molly Gunn: Give me five more minutes baby, and I'll rock your world!
556952,556953c563580,563581
Martin: In addition to the water... there is another basic shortage
on our planet.
556965c563593
(spray paints a large "V" on Visitor propaganda poster)... For
556973c563601
you see that? Why not take advantage of - ...
557007c563635
[after Julie shoots at Diana's shuttle]
557009a563638,563654
Lynn Bernstein: [reading Abraham's farewell letter written before his
capture by The Visitors] "My dear family: It's painful knowing that
I'll not see your faces anymore. But I must take this stand for
what I know is right. You may think that an old man wouldn't be
afraid to die, but this old man is very frightened. I'm hoping that
I'll find a little of your mother's dignity and strength. So far,
I'm as frightened as a child who fears the dark. But we must fight
the darkness that is threatening to engulf us. Each of us must be a
ray of hope and do our part and join with the others till we've
become a blinding light, triumphant over darkness. Until that task
is accomplished, life will have no meaning. More than anything, you
must remember which side you're on and fight for it. You mother and
I will march beside you, holding hands again. We'll sing your song
of victory. You'll feel us in your hearts. Our spirit..."
Stanley Bernstein: "Our spirits will be with you always. And our
love." We have to help, or else we won't have learned a thing.
557304a563950,563961
# Vagón fumador (2001)
[asking about turning tricks... ]
Reni: You like it don't you? You enjoy it?
Andrés: What? This? Yes, I really do.I love it. Totally. Especially
when I get paid. It's something I can't describe.
Andrés: Everything's got a price. Pizza... Seven bucks. Beer...
Three. Rollerblades... Ninety and Andrés a hundred and fifty.
Andrés: If you don't have a price you have nothing to offer. No
Value. You're worth nothing. And I love being paid. Being
appreciated, Being enjoyed.
557955,557956d564611
558002c564657
Aleera: I want first bite!
558009,558011c564664,564665
Van Helsing: Yes.
Anna Valerious: Before or after I stopped you from shooting him?
558035a564690,564710
Van Helsing: You will take Anna and Carl to the tower and find the
cure.
Igor: No... I... will... not...
[Van Helsing grabs Igor and throws him violently onto rock]
Igor: Yes... I... will...
Marishka: Too bad, so sad.
Van Helsing: This may hurt a little.
Frankenstein's Monster: I am custom to pain.
Van Helsing: Lets us know we're alive
Van Helsing: I missed you in London.
Mr. Hyde: No you bloody did not. You got me good.
[shows Van Helsing a bullet wound]
Anna Valerious: You killed a vampire.
Van Helsing: I thought that was a good thing.
Anna Valerious: Vampires only kill what they need to survive. Now
they will kill for revenge.
558968a565644,565651
Pearl: We're in a bit of a decadent spiral, aren't we?
Billy: Sinking fast.
Ray: Big Brother, baby, all the way.
Malcolm: Which is why we prefer impressions to ideas.
Billy: Situations to subjects.
Pearl: Brief flights to sustained ones.
Ray: Exceptions to types.
Pearl: And yourself?
558973c565656
Brian Slade: Man is least himself when he talks in his own person...
558992c565675
Mandy Slade: Yeah...
558997a565681,565684
Female Narrator: For once, there was an unknown land, full of strange
flowers and subtle perfumes; a land of which it is joy of all joys
to dream; a land where all things are perfect and poisonous.
559205a565893,565967
Peter: Montgomery Wick. My dad told me about how Wick speed-summited
in 24.
Skip: We're not Montgomery Wick. Even if we were, how long does that
leave to get through the rock and ice? We don't even know their
exact location. How long is that gonna take?
Peter: I won't let Annie die.
Skip: So what are we gonna do?
Skip: How about it Mal? You and Cyril have been up there before.
Malcolm Bench: No. I mean why would we want to leave this place?
Cyril Bench: Luxurious accomodation. Fine cuisine.
Malcolm Bench: Sultry weather. Frostbite's off my dick.
Cyril Bench: I reckon we should wait until they chuck in a ski lift.
Malcolm Bench: Good idea. Imagine coming to the Himalayas and
actually having to do some climbing. Especially when you have to
complete your autobiography.
Cyril Bench: And rustle up those all important endorsements. You
wankers! What's bloody wrong with you?
Cyril Bench, Malcolm Bench: We're in.
Cyril Bench: That's a bloody great idea. Smoking next to the nitro.
Although, bro and I always hoped that you'd blow us.
Skip: What the hell are you doing?
Malcolm Bench: I'm trying to kiss my ass goodbye.
Cyril Bench: Come on darling. Give us a smile, eh. It's the second
best thing you can do with your lips.
Montgomery Wick: You did the right thing to cut the rope. Any good
climber would have. If Royce had had the knife, he'd have done it
himself.
Monique: Cyril! Cyril, are you there? Cyril! Damn it, you answer me!
Cyril Bench: Nag, nag, nag. They always bloody nag.
Monique: You're sick.
Peter: You're gonna kill him.
Montgomery Wick: My wife died of edema. Stripped the skin from her
throat, her lungs filled with water. She drowned in her own bodily
fluids. Yeah, I'm gonna kill him.
Peter: I can't let you do it.
Montgomery Wick: Peter, do you know where you are? Above 24,000,
you're at the vertical limit, you're already dying. Look at you.
You can hardly stand. If you think you can stop me, go ahead.
Annie Garrett: Peter, are you there? Peter?
Peter: Annie? Annie, is that you? Annie. Annie, what is it?
Annie Garrett: Where are you?
Peter: Five hours away.
Annie Garrett: I want you to go back. Don't risk it. There's no
reason. I won't be here and neither will Tom.
Peter: How long?
Annie Garrett: An hour. Two at the most. Peter? Peter!
Peter: I'm here Annie.
Annie Garrett: I've been thinking. I've been thinking a lot about
Dad. We shouldn't have gotten him a grave. We should have come up
here together with his ashes. He said this is where he was the
happiest. He was a climber. I think every real climber would want
to stay on the mountain. What do you think?
Peter: I think we'll come back some day. The two of us. For Dad.
Annie Garrett: I would've liked that.
Peter: I'm coming to get you Annie.
Annie Garrett: No, don't! Promise me. I don't want you to die. I
can't let you do that.
Peter: I don't care!
Annie Garrett: Don't put me through it, you understand? Please? Just,
please don't. Please. Good night Peter. I love you.
Annie Garrett: That was a hell of a thing you did up there. Anybody
else would have given up.
Peter: Not everybody.
Annie Garrett: He'd be proud of you. Angry, but really proud.
Peter: Get some sleep.
559208,559209c565970,565972
[first lines]
Officer who falls off roof to his death: Give me your hand. Give me
your hand.
559306c566069,566070
Madeleine: There is something I must do, there is something I must
do.
559939a566704,566707
# Vigorish (2003)
Deke: Only the kid who cuts my yard calls me mister.
559998c566766,566767
Charming Jones: Well, Handsome; would you like to grab a hold of
these?
560002,560003c566771,566772
Charming Jones: Just a minute! Now, Handsome, what are you planning
to do if you win?
560006c566775
Charming Jones: And you, Cactus Jack?
560009c566778
Charming Jones: Too bad, Handsome; you lose.
560217a566987,566992
# Vishwasghaat (1977)
Mahesh: Hum dono ka mel, pyar ka khel, aisa rang dikhayega, apne ghar
khilono se khelne khilona ayega... The fruit of our marriage will
result in a live toy coming to play all these toys...
560641a567417,567422
W.W. Bright: [Leroy has accused W.W. of being a Communist] I served
in Korea. dammit!
Junior: That's right, Leroy. You know who he was fightin' in Korea?
Leroy: Who?
Junior: Chinamen. Communist Chinamen.
560701a567483,567487
Elmer Fudd: [after nailing a board over Bugs's hole] That'll hold him
alwight, heh heh heh heh heh.
Bugs Bunny: [opens the board over his hole, imitating Elmer] That'll
him him alwight, heh heh heh heh heh. Phooey!
560856,560861c567642,567647
Phil Taylor: I was a field surgeon during the war. We'd work long
hours. We'd eat while we operated. One time, there's this young
soldier I was trying to save, he took a cannonball in the stomach.
After 18 hours of surgery, I did it. Never felt better in my life.
Until, just like that, the patient dies. Turns out I left half a
bologna sandwich in his lung.
560934,560935c567720,567721
Corky St. Clair: People don't like to have fire poked... POKED in
their face.
561005c567791
in there - to examine me I guess - he probed me and then I was in
561010c567796
years later, now, even still, uh, it's a funny thing - it happened
561012c567798
that ship I - find I have no feelings in my buttocks.
561031c567817
very... the sardonically irreverent..."Dybbyck Shmybbyck, I Said
561054,561056c567840,567842
slap each other with their gloves... say, y'know..."D'Artagnan!"...
y'know, "how dare you talk to me like that, you!," and... smack
'em!
561370a568157,568159
Alberto Aragon: Just because I talk with an accent doesn't mean I
think with an accent.
561836a568626,568645
Luan Paxton: Lookin's free... What I mean is lookin' don't cost
nothin'.
Pauline Pusser: Is your pride worth those children's safety?... Of
all of us?
Buford: If you let those people that own those joints have an inch,
they'll steal the whole state... It looks like they already got a
leg up on it.
Buford: There's only two rules, and thats all... But don't ever
forget them. Number one we enforce the law equally. Number two, any
man caught taking a bribe gets his head knocked off by me.
Judge R.W. Clarke: Why you self appointed dictator!... All you know
is force and violence!... You don't understand the simplest things
about the law!
Buford: I understand the difference between a poor honest judge and a
rich dishonest one!
562113a568923,568930
Joey: [about the bowling hustlers] We can't beat those guys, Peppy
Dio. They're too good. It's like their pros or something.
Peppy Dio: Now you're thinkin'. They is pros. Chubby checked around.
They go around to all the bowlin' alleys and take on the house
bowlers. They hustle the hustlers.
Joey: What's Chubby gonna do?
Peppy Dio: Just watch. Chubby's got a way of making things happen.
564142,564145c570959,570962
Jonathan Ross: [reading out apologies] There's a telegram from Geri
Halliwell: "Sorry I can't be with you. I smelled some soup on the
way there and have to spend the rest of the week working it off at
the gym."
564159a570977,571006
Frank: Enfield invented Whitehouse. If it wasn't for Enfield,
Whitehouse would still be living in his poxy little council flat in
Hackney.
Eddie Izzard: The Pope. First there was a Pope John, then there's
Pope John Paul. We can see where they're going with this, the next
one will be Pope John Paul George and then Pope John Paul George
and Ringo.
Eddie Izzard: He has a Popemobile and the only person in the world
who's got anything like that is Batman. You've got Batman with a
Batmobile, the Pope with a Popemobile, and the Pope's got a cave
and whenever they show the picture of a sinner on a cloud, the Pope
goes down to his cave where he's joined by Altar Boy.
Meera Syal: I don't think my rectum could take that.
Richard Blackwood: I feel good to be here, you know, asked to be
here. Knowing that Lenny Henry couldn't make it.
Eddie Izzard: This reminds me of playing Kingston Poly [faint cheer
from part of the audience] yes, they're all in tonight, in fact
it's entirely Kingston Poly [another faint cheer] , yeah alright,
you're from Kingston Poly. It's good, but no-one's gonna fuck you.
Badly Drawn Boy: And tonight I'd like to stand as a kick in the arse
to any human beings on this planet who think they're bigger and
better than others to put themselves above them. That's about as
basic as it gets.
564361,564368c571208
Ned: Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me you shot the guards Bob.
567775c574615
Greenie: I can't come in today... I have to watch my refrigerator.
567777a574618,574624
Greenie: There's no refrigerator.
The Rental Agent: That's the way it is in L.A. The renter provides
their own.
Greenie: There's a stove... a dishwasher... a garbage disposal...
there's even a trash compactor!... But there's no refrigerator?...
Do you know how f*cked up that is?
567836a574684,574687
# White Cargo (1942)
Tondelayo: [entering for the first time, seductively] I am Tondelayo.
569400,569404c576251
Sergeant Howie: Your lordship seems strangely... unconcerned.
569407,569408c576254,576255
Sergeant Howie: Religious? With ruined churches, no ministers, no
priests... and children dancing naked!
569635a576483,576511
Dutch Engstrom: They'll be waitin' for us.
Pike Bishop: I wouldn't have it any other way.
Dutch Engstrom: Pike; I wouldn't have it any other way, either.
Dutch Engstrom: Well, what now?
Pike Bishop: Bank, maybe a payroll; maybe the railroad again.
Lyle Gorch: That damn railroad you're talkin' about ain't gettin' any
easier!
Sykes: Yeah, and you boys ain't gettin' any younger.
Lyle Gorch: This was goin' to be mine and Tector's last job before we
quit and headed south. We spent all our time and money gettin'
ready.
Pike Bishop: You spent your time and money runnin' whores in Hondo
while I spent my stake settin' it up. [throws down washer] Hell, I
should have been runnin' whores instead of stealin' Army horses.
Lyle Gorch: While you was doin' that, me and Tector was gettin' our
bell ropes rung by two, mind you, two Hondo whores!
Dutch Engstrom: [Laughing] Pike was dreamin' of washers while you two
were matching whores in tandem!
Lyle Gorch: What's that mean?
Tector Gorch: It means one behind t'other.
Lyle Gorch: That's right! That's what we was doin'!
Pike: You know what we are then?
Don Jose: Si, the both of you!
Pike: [laughing] And you!
572835c579711
Holmes: I'm reminded of the curious case of the Manchurian Mambo...
572873c579749
Greenhough: The - truth?
572922,572924c579798,579800
Dr. Watson: Holmes, you're back - so good to see you! My, this is a
clever disguise - a drunken lout. Ha, very realistic.
Sherlock Holmes: There's two - this one big fellow...
572929c579805
letting you out at night again. Lord Smithwick - trouble at the
572931c579807
Lord Smithwick: Well, to be honest - Wait, how did you know?
572963c579839
Sherlock Holmes: Danger is my trade - but not yours. It's unsafe for
572976,572977c579852,579853
Sherlock Holmes: [after poking a dead man with a stick] It is my
opinion... that he is dead.
573781a580658,580662
# Woh 7 Din (1983)
Maya: Pyar kiya nahin jata, ho jata hai... One cannot do love, as
love happens...
574452c581333
Oola: I know you. Double Dickel on the rocks. I never forget a drink.
575002a581884,581890
# Wrestlemania V (1989) (V)
Rick Rude: What I'd like to have right now is for all you
high-rollin' Atlantic City sweathogs, keep the noise down while I
take my robe off and give the ladies a good look at the sexiest man
alive.
576179c583067
Wolverine: Got any beer?
576181c583069
Wolverine: So that's a no?
576183c583071
Wolverine: Well do you have anything other than chocolate milk?
576198c583086
Wolverine: Go, I'll be fine!
576204c583092
Wolverine: Who's this guy?
576206,576208c583094,583097
Bobby: I'm her boyfriend
[shakes Logan's hand and freezes it]
Bobby: call me Iceman.
Wolverine: Boyfriend? How do you two?
576211c583100
[during the attack on the mansion]
576213c583102,583103
Wolverine: Help them.
[Motioning to the children]
576230,576231c583120,583121
Madeline Drake: You have to understand we thought we were sending
Bobby to a school for the gifted.
576251,576252c583141,583142
Pyro: Don't do that again.
Wolverine: I agree.
576261,576262c583151,583152
Professor X: No, but I did; the next time you feel like showing
off... don't.
576264c583154
[looking over confidential papers]
576279,576280c583169,583170
Policeman: Put the knives down and get on the ground.
Wolverine: I can't.
576284,576285c583174,583175
Magneto: [to Mystique] This is one lovers' quarrel we cannot get
involved in, my dear.
576307c583197
Madeline Drake: What exactly do you teach, Professor Logan?
576310c583200
Storm: [about Nightcrawler's scars] So... What are they?
576313c583203
Storm: They're beautiful. How many do you have?
576331c583221
Wolverine: I can be the good guy.
576364c583254
Magneto: Excuse me?
576372c583262
Wolverine: Oh yea.
576404c583294
Wolverine: How long have you been here?
576406c583296
Wolverine: What about your parents, they just ship you off to mutant
576409c583299,583300
Wolverine: Lots of prep school have their own campus, dorms,
kitchens...
576412c583303,583304
Magneto: [To Professor X:] You should have killed me when you had the
chance!
576436,576437c583328,583329
Pyro: What for her, it's not my fault; if your girlfriend getting
excited.
576448,576450c583340,583342
Madeline Drake: This is all my fault.
Pyro: Actually they discovered that it's the male who carries the
mutant gene and passes it on, so it's his fault.
576455c583347
Madeline Drake: We still love you Bobby, it's just this mutant
576457,576458c583349,583350
Wolverine: [Interrupting] What Mutant problem?
Madeline Drake: ...complicated.
576468c583360,583369
[Wolverine approaches Stryker carrying one of the kids]
William Stryker: Who has the answers, Wolverine?
William Stryker: Those people?
William Stryker: That creature in your arms?
William Stryker: Huh? Huh?
Wolverine: [Removes the necklace with his nametag]
Wolverine: [looking at the boy] I'll take my chances with him.
[Wolverine walks off with the boy]
Wolverine: You picked the wrong house bub.
576484c583385
Wolverine: [tosses Cyclops the keys to his motorbike] Your bike needs
576499,576500c583400,583401
William Stryker: One day someone will finish what I've started,
Wolverine! ONE DAY!
577202c584103
[seeing John looking through a telescope, concerned]
577204,577205c584105,584106
John Lennon: Newer and bluer Meanies have been sighted in the
vicinity of this theatre. There's only one way we can go out!
577207c584108
John Lennon: Singing!
579301c586202
John Singleton: [to a pile of wood] And... ACTION!
579322c586223
going on here? Ladies and gentlemen, this never happens.
579367,579370c586268,586271
Heavy D: [very uncomfortable and awkward] Golly... It sure is nifty
to be a part of the Universal family. I mean, jeepers, everybody
there is just... swell. Golly-willikers... How could I ever go
anywhere else? And I mean this.
579391c586292
like..."Black tower," hah, I never wanna go there.
579669a586571,586579
# Zapped Again! (1993) (V)
Kevin: [after zapping Amanda's pants off] Boy, I love a full moon,
don't you?
Wayne: [holding Amanda] The least you can do is put on some
underwear.
Amanda: [to Wayne] I don't have any. You ate them all!
Kevin: And boy, were they good!
580613c587523
Isandlawhana. [leaves Chelmsford's tent]
580616a587527,587531
Lt. Col. Pulleine: [the Zulu are about to overrun the British
position] Well fought, gentlemen. It's time to save the colours.
[hands flag to Vereker] Carry them to safety, Mr. Vereker.
Lt. William Vereker: Yes, sir!
580793,580797d587707
580860a587771,587832
Shirotsugh Lhadatt: Can anyone hear me? I'm the first man in space.
If you look up, well, maybe you'll see it. Or at least please
listen. We've left the oceans and climbed above the mountains. I'm
flying. We've found the untouched realm of God. You have to look
now it's your only chance. Nothing is here yet, not even air or
water to ruin. Soon the next man will follow to touch it, and
another, and in all the rush we may again destroy it. Maybe our
killing comes from the madness of being confined? Please listen!
There's no more reason to kill because we don't have any more
borders now! Can anyone hear me? If you can hear me, then pray. The
humblest of all things, the most noble. Pray for each step you
take. Make a path that's safe so those who follow shall never
stumble. Dear God, please give us your mercy. Mercy for we are
lost. Forgive the irresponsible, the trivial men who beg you from
the dark for the forgiveness of your light.
Shirotsugh Lhadatt: You Prayed? That doesn't stop them from
bulldozing your damn house!
Marty: Sir, the launch pad's as ready as it's ever going to be.
General Khaidenn: Moment of truth... Return to countdown!
Shirotsugh Lhadatt: Aw hell, I give up. "And what I see now is - "
tanks everwhere!
Marty: Open your eyes, you damn idiot, they're fakes!
Shirotsugh Lhadatt: Fakes? [singing] All around us there's nothing
but fakes... Whoa! Soar with me on the biggest fake of all!
Shirotsugh Lhadatt: Y'know, on paper it didn't look so big.
Marty: Ideas grow; sometimes bigger than life.
Dr. Gnomm: I'll have you know that I was flying rockets before you
were even an itch in your daddy's crotch!
General Khaidenn: Enough of this! Come down from there at once! We
have to do this. I hate it as much as you do. I thought we could
really do it this time. We can't do anything about this. Just
forget it. Risking your lives? Well, it's just not worth it.
Shirotsugh Lhadatt: I don't believe this! What are you going to do?
Just quit? If we stop here then we are a bunch of fools! That's
plain stupid! Quit before the fight even starts? Where's the glory
in that? What we've done is incredible. I'll still do it even if it
means I die in the process! Here's your chance to be in the history
books instead of just reading them. There may never be another
chance like this again. Anyone who isn't with me can leave. I will
do this! I am goddamn ready do do this! All sections talk to me!
Shirotsugh Lhadatt: Can't you have fun? I think that by now you and
God should have worked out some kind of compromise.
Riquinni Nonderaiko: Oh you do?
Shirotsugh Lhadatt: [gulps] Come on, be reasonable!
Riquinni Nonderaiko: What do you mean "be reasonable?" The world is
all messed up because... because of that kind of compromise!
Shirotsugh Lhadatt: What's so bad about that?
Marty: Here's the pilot. Does he get a say in any of this?
Rocket Scientist: [to Shiro] And what is YOUR opinion?
Shirotsugh Lhadatt: I'd kinda like to live a while, so I vote for the
safest way.
Rocket Scientist: Bah! Undue concern.
Marty: Oh, minor detail.